3 Reasons It’s Harder for Moms to Keep Resolutions

3 Reasons It’s Harder for Moms to Keep Resolutions

Every year I do it. I try to defy the odds and finally complete just one resolution.

But as the years have gone by, it isn’t getting any easier. In fact, it feels harder! Becoming a mom has not lowered the bar, and it’s clear that there are more than a few reasons that it’s harder for moms to actually complete their resolutions. So let’s talk about some of the top reasons moms have a harder time with resolutions than others.

How about you?

Super stoked about those big New Year’s resolutions you just made?

Don’t wanna be the one to blow the buzzkill horn, but let’s be real. Around 80-90% of resolutions fail. They are hard AF to uphold for most of the world, but for us moms, they are even harder.

But we don’t want you to fail, mama! We want you to crush it, and having the tools and info will help get you on that path to success.

So, let’s talk about three reasons why it’s so much harder for moms to keep resolutions, and what you can do to hack those stumbling blocks so you can actually keep your resolutions this year!

Problem: Multi-tasking and distractions.

The trope of moms not even being able to pee alone is 100% accurate. We even multitask our urination, probably opening a granola bar or some other ridiculois things asked of us by our overlords while we try to use the bathroom.

There is always constant distraction, which leads to the multi-tasking. At this very moment I am typing this into Evernote on my iPhone while my 3 year old sits in my lap and 11 Month old twins crawl around. I have just a few minutes before one of them starts fussing for snacks.

Beyond the fact that my time isn’t fully mine, it’s mostly theirs, there’s this other sneaky little devil called context switching that totally screws productivity. (http://www.apa.org/research/action/multitask.aspx) what is context switching? Basically, it is when you move from one task to another quickly or back and forth between multiple tasks. It takes your brain some time to catch up to the change so you won’t be performing at peak levels of productivity for some time. So if you are constantly multitasking and context switching, it’s like working with one hand behind your back.

All this multi-tasking and context switching makes it so hard for us to focus in on what we are trying to accomplish.

You get zeroed in on an important task for your goals, but keep getting pulled back out until you say “screw it,” and put it off another day. A day we all know never actually comes.

Solution:  Focus. Sounds simple, but with all the things on our plate it can be difficult to chill the hell out for a sec and prioritize. So then we end up doing it all at once. But studies show that multi-tasking actually makes you less productive. Time to cut that out. Don’t freak out mama. I know this sounds like it’s not really all that doable, but just for a second imagine doing (gasp!) one thing at a time.

This will take prioritization, but you can do it.

This means no checking email while fixing breakfast. No chatting on the phone while paying the bills. When we are constantly having our attention pulled in a million directions,

Problem: Busy with #allthethings (we don’t have time).

You lay down in bed at the end of the night, perhaps you know you’ll only get an hour or two of sleep in before a baby cries for their first night feed. You close your eyes and you know that you are so tired and you were so busy today. You did it all, and yet you can’t really remember actually getting anything done!

Solution: Firstly, we need to ditch this idea that we don’t have time. We do. If something is important to us, we will find the time to make it happen. Have a resolution to get in shape? Maybe it is really out of reach to get a sitter to watch your kids three times a week to go to the gym, but you can absolutely throw up some YouTube yoga videos on your Amazon Firestick (my fav way to watch). Then there is what I consider the absolute best exercise for mamas, walking. Load the kids into the stroller or grab their bikes and go outside. It’s family time, exercise and a breath of fresh air all at once.

Next, carve out time in the “Fringe Hours.” I read this book years ago, and I am still obsessed with the concept. We tell ourselves over and over again that we don’t have time for the things that are important to us or light us up because we are busy, busy, and more busy. But how often are you in a period of hurry up and wait? Rushing to get to your child’s school for pickup but then wait for 5 minutes for them to come out? Keep your knitting project or book you’re reading handy. Use those 5 minutes to actually do something related to your resolution instead of just scrolling your Facebook feed.

Problem: We come last and have absolutely no self-care practice.

Do I need to explain? We all understand this right? Everyone comes before us. 

Solution: it’s becoming ridiculous if I’m honest. We talk about self-care all the damn time, and yet so many of us treat it like a luxury. Why? Because a part of us doesn’t truly value ourselves and what we are bringing to the table for our families and ourselves. Think about it. You are either just not prioritizing yourself, or you are putting yourself last. Would you let a friend do that? No.

It’s time we became our own best friends. Held our own hands. How do you expect to reach a goal or complete your resolution when you consistently put your own needs and goals on the back burner?

I know, I know. You’re probably like me and think you should be able to handle it all, right? And the thing is, you can mama. You have the capacity to do and accomplish so much. But you can’t do it when you’re reserves are at zero.

I’m not going to sit here and pretend there won’t be times when things are really hard and you just need to put on your big girl panties and push through. But that’s why it is so critical that during the more calm moments in motherhood. Those precious days and weeks when all is well. Ya know, when there’s no teething or stomach bugs or growth spurts. During those times take time to refill your cup.

 At the end of the day (or beginning of the year) you just have to make a commitment to yourself mama. Focus. Focus on you.

Beyond the fact that it will add to your own level of well-being, isn’t this the example you want to set? One of a woman who has boundaries? A woman who goes for what she wants? A woman who isn’t afraid to say no to other’s outrageous expectations, and yes to her own dreams? 

Yeah??? So let’s do it mama! I believe in you. 

Want to supercharge your chances of crushing it this year? Check these oldies but goodies from right here on the blog:

http://momuprising.com/2018/08/30/5-productivity-tips-for-mom-entrepreneurs/

http://momuprising.com/2018/06/29/5truthsaboutmoms/

http://momuprising.com/2018/06/07/worklifebalanceinmotherhood/

What if You Don’t Have a College Fund for Your Kid?

What if You Don’t Have a College Fund for Your Kid?

Raise your hand if you haven’t saved a dime toward your child’s education. Feeling some guilt about that? The experts say don’t!

The idea of being able start saving for college may seem like a pipe dream. Yes, if you have some extra cash you can put away for your kid’s future, do it. But if you’re struggling with debt or just paying the bills every month, it is ok to lose the guilt over this one.

Don’t just take our word for it, Rachel Cruze, money expert and co-author of the #1 bestselling book, Smart Money Smart Kids, agrees.

You’ve heard about the when you’re on an airplane, and if the oxygen masks pop out you should put your own mask on before helping someone else? Basically, if you don’t have oxygen to breath, how can you help someone else?

Cruze says the same idea applies to your finances. She says, “Be debt free besides your mortgage, and then save 15% of your income for retirement. Retirement happens if you want it or not,” she says you must “take care of yourself.” You never know what your children’s lives have in store for them. Maybe they will be a superstar football player and won’t need money for college, or they won’t even go to college because they choose an alternate career path. Their future is still a big question mark. One thing is certain, you will at some point not be able to or not want to work anymore and will need retirement savings to support yourself.

The good news is, even if you don’t have anything left over to save towards your child’s college, there are a lot of ways you can help support your child in their college journey without contributing dime. Money isn’t everything. Cruze says, ”You need to help your 18 year old in this decision. What school can they afford? They may not thank you then but they will hug you when they walk across the graduation stage (without debt)!”

Cruze believes student loans have become a major roadblock for this generation and if you can help your child avoid them, they will be so much further ahead in the long run. So maybe they want to go to an exclusive private school, but its just not in the budget. Encourage them to spend a couple years at a community college first to save on tuition for a few years before applying to transfer. Consider also, just staying in the cheaper school for the full four years. The name recognition of which school they attend is not the deciding factor on whether they will be successful in life.

Many jobs care more about their real world experience. If your student can maintain jobs and internships while in school, they may end up ahead of their peers who attend a more well known school. Not to mention, holding a job while also having to keep up with studies will mean more cash in their pocket to spend on their expenses and will only add to their level of responsibility. Not all lessons are learned in class.

Above all, keep these words from Cruze in mind, “There’s so much guilt and shame surrounding money. If you are able to pay for children’s college that is a blessing, but you are not a bad parent if you can’t provide funds for your child’s college.”