Having a Motherhood Identity Crisis?

Having a Motherhood Identity Crisis?

Becoming a mother for the first (or second, third, fourth, five…) time is life-changing and beautiful, but it can also lead to a motherhood identity crisis.

People say your life is over when you have children.

I tried to deny it. I tried to fight it. I tried to pretend like everything was mostly the same. That I was the same person with the same hopes and the same dreams.

But I wasn’t, and I’m happy about that.

Who wants to be the same person for their entire life? Is that what life is about? Stasis? Sameness? Surely not.

Just a quick look around the world and you will notice that the one thing that is constant is change. Seasons come and go. Friends (and family) come and go. Relationships come and go. Pets come and go. Stores come and go.

If you live in an area as I do, every fall the leaves turn the most beautiful shades of red, yellow, orange, and brown then fall off the trees whirling their way in the wind to the ground. We go through the barrenness of winter with the distractions of the holiday season but soon the cold sinks into your bones until you year for the freshness of spring and the heat of summer.

 

Change, good or bad, is a necessity. There isn’t even a choice in the matter for us mere mortals. The best we can do is adapt and go along for the ride.

The same is true for becoming a parent and learning to evolve into the person you are meant to be after that tiny human(s) comes into your life.

The story of motherhood is truly about learning to surrender to nature, and being able to ride the waves of life that come at you. Your identity cracks and crumbles then blows away like dust in the wind.

The new you remembers that girl inside of you. A piece of her is still there, but she’s a backup singer and not the lead vocalist anymore. There’s a new voice, a new soul, and a new person inside of the body that has also been permanently changed through carrying and birthing a child(ren).

You become someone who is different and in some ways less, but most ways, so much more. You grow and become stronger. A more developed and evolved human. Someone who is more secure in her skin, and knows her place in the world.

But there are growing pains.

There’s a period of time where you don’t know what is happening. It’s like transition during birth. You don’t know if you can even go on. Surely you can’t do it. It’s too much. Your grip on reality even seems to fade in and out. You’re in your own little world, but that world doesn’t look anything like it used to.

As your old self blows away in the wind, you try to grasp it. You reach for it, but it slips through your fingers. It’s disconcerting, to say the least.

You’re in this in-between space where your old identity is gone, but the new one is yet to emerge completely. You might have a small sense that something new is coming. A new you is forming but hasn’t fully taken shape yet. That’s the motherhood identity crisis.

And guess what? It doesn’t happen just once. It happens over and over again throughout your life. When you go from one child to more than one, and then with each little milestone your child has you have some small internal milestone that is almost unnoticeable. But as they grow, you grow.

 

The trick is to learn to not try to hold on. Yes, you grasp tightly to those little moments when you feel the joy exploding out of your heart as you hold their little bodies as they sleep, or when they say “mama” for the first time, or when the sound out their first word in a book. But holding onto this little moments is not the same as holding on to who you think you are.

Allowing ourselves to grow without holding too strongly to who we used to be is just as essential as how we allow our children to grow without being too overbearing.

So if you’re in the middle of a motherhood identity crisis, just hold one. It gets better. Then it gets worse. Then it gets better again. One day you will feel like you even if it’s a new you.

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Having a Motherhood Identity Crisis?

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Learning to Love Your Body as a Mom

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Skin Care Products for Breastfeeding Moms

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Weight Loss for Busy Moms: How to Start Your Healthy Journey

Moms are under so much pressure to not just be the best mother possible, but to look like society’s idea of perfection while doing it. It can be really hard to both love ourselves exactly as we are while also wanting to be healthy and happy. Jai Murphy, certified health coach, shares her tips for weight loss for busy moms.

For full details be sure to listen to this episode of the MomUp Show, but here is a rundown of the best tips form Jai:

1. Hold yourself accountable. Find ways to make sure you follow through on your goals. She started by creating an Instagram account just for her weight loss goals and followed accounts that made her feed like a vision board.

2. Submerse yourself in learning. Be willing to dive into the deep end and learn all you can. As much as we wish we did, we don’t know everything. Having an openness to finding new ways to accomplish your goals is key.

3. Remember, YOU ARE WORTHY. Life isn’t perfect, you aren’t perfect, your body isn’t perfect… instead of bemoaning it though, let’s EMBRACE IT. Instead of getting bogged down in perfection just find small ways to love yourself today and just inch a little closer to your goals today than you were yesterday.

Being a mom is chaotic and exhausting. Jai is an inspiration not just because of her weight loss, but her commitment to herself while simultaneously nurturing and loving herself. Be sure to give yourself realistic expectations and enjoy the process. Your weight loss journey is yours and you get to determine what is best for you. Enjoy the ride mama, and hopefully the tips in this podcast for weight loss for busy moms will help you on the road.

Body Positive Health & Wellness Coach, Jai Murphy, is classically trained and certified as a Health Coach and has a degree in Health Administration. What sets Jai apart from most health coaches is her ability to bridge the gap between the worlds of those wanting to lose weight, those fighting to embrace body positivity, and the traditional health & fitness world.

Jai has lost over 200lbs naturally and is in the midst of her own inspirational health journey. Jai doesn’t just regurgitate what the textbooks say; she shows in real time how to implement the knowledge and changes into the good and the bad of real life. Her extensive and engaged audience across her various social media platforms get a front row seat to Jasmin’s journey as she navigates the crooked roads of motherhood and health.

Visit Jai at her website or on Instagram.

 

Self-Care Ideas for Moms (From a Dad and Teacher)

Self-Care Ideas for Moms (From a Dad and Teacher)

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Why Breastfeeding is Important Beyond Health

Why Breastfeeding is Important Beyond Health

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Mom Hack: Knowing Baby Developmental Leaps

Mom Hack: Knowing Baby Developmental Leaps

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5 Tips for How to Give Birth Naturally Without Pain

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Clearing Clutter Where to Start

Clearing Clutter Where to Start

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Two Shirt Method: How to Discreetly Breastfeed in Public

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Having a Motherhood Identity Crisis?

Having a Motherhood Identity Crisis?

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Nourishing Your Body (Simple Self-Care Part 3)

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Learning to Love Your Body as a Mom

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How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids with One Simple Tip

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Being a Mother is the Best Feeling. What Could Compare?

Being a Mother is the Best Feeling. What Could Compare?

It's easy to get caught up in the chaos of motherhood, but being a mother is the best feeling. This whirlwind of diapers, sticky hands, bath times, bedtimes, routines, schedules that are thrown out the window, baby pools, and more is exquisite even if it's so hard. I...

Skin Care Products for Breastfeeding Moms

Skin Care Products for Breastfeeding Moms

Which skin care products for breastfeeding moms are best? Which ingredients should you avoid, and what is considered safe? This will get you started in your research into which skin care products to use while breastfeeding.

How to Be a Better Parent with Personal Development

How to Be a Better Parent with Personal Development

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Forgiving Yourself for Parenting Mistakes

Forgiving Yourself for Parenting Mistakes

We’ve all thought it at least one, right? The question: “Am I screwing up my kids?” The truth is… yes. To some extent. We all are. Because we can’t do this job perfectly and it’s time we learn that forgiving yourself for parenting mistakes is not just ok, but essential.

Weight Loss for Busy Moms: How to Start Your Healthy Journey

Weight Loss for Busy Moms: How to Start Your Healthy Journey

Moms are under so much pressure to not just be the best mother possible, but to look like society's idea of perfection while doing it. It can be really hard to both love ourselves exactly as we are while also wanting to be healthy and happy. Jai Murphy, certified...

How to Enjoy Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

How to Enjoy Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

For a lot of moms (and dads), being able to stay at home with the kids and ditch the 9-5 sounds like a fantasy. But once you’re actually at home with those kids 24/7, it can get a little monotonous (and chaotic) to say the least. It can be hard to actually enjoy it. So here are our 10 best tips on how to enjoy being a stay-at-home mom.

25 Inspirational Mom Quotes

25 Inspirational Mom Quotes

25 of the best inspirational mom quotes for motivation, inspiration and commiseration. Enjoy these inspiration quotes mamas.1.The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. -Honore de Balzac 2. One of the greatest titles...

What Do Moms Want for Mother’s Day? (This Mom Shares the Truth)

What Do Moms Want for Mother’s Day? (This Mom Shares the Truth)

Been wondering... what do moms wants for Mother's Day? Some people are just sooo hard to buy for, and while this is just my personal opinion, I'm about to let you off the hook and clue you in on what moms want for Mother's Day.This might be shocking to some, so...

Are Royal Births Different Than Ours?

Are Royal Births Different Than Ours?

Have you seen this meme? It's a glowing Meghan Markle with Prince Harry and the newest royal baby, Archie on one side. On the other side, is a typical family at the hospital after a birth, with mom rockin' some of our fav mesh panties.   There is no doubt that...

Giving Birth without an Epidural

Giving Birth without an Epidural

If you're thinking about giving birth without an epidural, then you're in the right place. Some people might try to talk you out of planning for a natural childbirth, but with the proper mindset and plan, it is totally doable for most moms! (I gave birth without an...

Why Do We Celebrate Mother’s Day? Is It Time We Stopped?

Why Do We Celebrate Mother’s Day? Is It Time We Stopped?

Today, Mother's Day is a day of brunching, flowers, cards, and if we are lucky, a alone time. Or perhaps the saintly among us just get to hang out and relax with our children because we prefer that to gifts and parties. But do we ever stop and wonder, why do we...

Single Mommin’ It and Providing for Your Family

Single Mommin’ It and Providing for Your Family

The hilarious and super smart Liz Meli-Wischman (now Marciniak) joins the MomUp Show this week to share how she has reached one of the highest levels of Younique through integrity, authenticity, and humor.  Mamas in MLM's or direct sales, listen up for this one! Liz...

Life Was Boring Before Kids

Life Was Boring Before Kids

You ever finally get that precious alone time away from your kids and wonder... what the hell do I do now? As much as we need alone time for self-care, date night, or just to poop, so many times when we finally get it, we don't know what to do with it. And one thing...

Moms Who Drink: Is Drinking Out of Control for Moms?

Moms Who Drink: Is Drinking Out of Control for Moms?

There are viral posts both joking about how mommy needs alcohol to survive motherhood with these little dictators ruling our lives... Then there are posts all about how we shouldn't need alcohol to be a mom, and that the jokes about drinking and motherhood have...

The Truth About How Hard it is to Be a Mom

The Truth About How Hard it is to Be a Mom

You can't prepare for it, and you can't understand it until you are living it. But it is so hard to be a mom. Momlife is no joke. Physically, emotionally, spiritually it changes and challenges you. Let's talk about the truth about how hard it is to be a mom, and maybe...

Re-building the Village: Creating Community for Moms

Re-building the Village: Creating Community for Moms

there might be a ton of reasons we sometimes feel divided as moms, but the truth is that any division that happens within the mom community are truly due to our lack of connection. While we may be a group that shares many things in common, we don't always feel like a...

They Grow Up So Fast: Learning to Go With the Flow in Motherhood

They Grow Up So Fast: Learning to Go With the Flow in Motherhood

"They grow up so fast." You hear it over and over again from experienced moms, maybe your own mom, aunt, grandmother... and inevitably when you talk to a brand new mom, you say the same thing to her. The time goes so fast, they grow up so fast. You wish there was...

Rainbow Toys for Toddlers

Rainbow Toys for Toddlers

Looking for rainbow toys for toddlers, or even older kids, that will add some color to their space? These toys are cool enough that you won't need to hide them away in bins, and they don't blare kiddie tunes that get stuck in your head allllll day. These 10 rainbow...

Natural Breech Birth: Making Confident Choices in Childbirth

Natural Breech Birth: Making Confident Choices in Childbirth

Making choices in childbirth can be a nerve-wracking experience for many first-time moms, but that's the beauty of having a birth plan (especially when you end up with an unplanned natural breech birth).   Lisa Chin learned first hand the benefits of having a...

Dealing With a Picky Eater: Does Your Child Refuse to Eat Anything?

Dealing With a Picky Eater: Does Your Child Refuse to Eat Anything?

guest post by Melody Manwell. It's not just you mama. I know it feels like maybe you're failing when your kid eats about 3 items, none are healthy, and dealing with a picky eater is so hard! That's why Melody Manwell is here to shed some light on why your kid might be...

Easy Meals for New Moms

Easy Meals for New Moms

Meal planning can overwhelm anyone. Add a newborn into the mix and it can be downright impossible! But if you’re due any day now or just had a bundle of joy, read on for tips and tricks to survive the first three months with a newborn. These easy meals for new moms...

MomUp Episode 6 with Sammi Blaque

MomUp Episode 6 with Sammi Blaque

Being present, getting grounded, centered, self-love, self-care... this doesn't have to mean hours and hours of time we set aside away from our kids. We can do it in the moment and reconnect with who we are as moms through our body and through sensuality. Sammi...

3 Keys to a Strong Marriage After Having a Baby

3 Keys to a Strong Marriage After Having a Baby

by contributor: April Vaassen Just surviving can be tough, let alone thriving and making sure your marriage is staying strong after having a baby. But, mama, it IS possible. These three keys have helped me maintain a strong marriage after having a baby.   I often...

MomUp Show Episode 5 with Christina Johnson

MomUp Show Episode 5 with Christina Johnson

As a mom, sometimes it's hard to just accomplish taking a shower. But we have to much potential we can tap into. So many goals we can achieve, and dreams to reach.  In this episode of the MomUp Show, I chat with Christina Johnson all about living your purpose and how...

MomUp Show Episode 4 with Ashley Hagan

MomUp Show Episode 4 with Ashley Hagan

Hey Mamas. Morgan here. You know, I rarely actually introduce MYSELF on episodes. But I'm the founder of momuprising.com and this podcast. I love hanging out with you every week, and I am so excited to present this episode. Ashley Hagan is a yoga instructor and brand...

MomUp Show Episode 3 with Aleia McDaniel

MomUp Show Episode 3 with Aleia McDaniel

Self-care for moms is about more than bubble baths and brunches. It runs much deeper, and is a learned skill. One essential component is creating boundaries around self-care for moms.  Aleia McDaniel shares how she was able to create fierce boundaries for her...

Episode 2 with Sunshine Boatright

Episode 2 with Sunshine Boatright

Moms. Give yourself some grace. We put the weight of the world on our shoulders, and our ambition is high octane sometimes, but we also need to show ourselves a minimum level of self-love and self-care.  Sunshine Boatright joins us on the second episode of the...

I’m a Mom, and I Don’t Do Dishes.

I’m a Mom, and I Don’t Do Dishes.

I. Don't. Do. Dishes. This isn't an exaggeration either. Even though I'm a mom, and my primary job is caring for my children, I have done the dishes less than a handful of times in the last year.    Yeah that might seem impossible... but it's true. I don't do...

The Best Nursing Bras According to Breastfeeding Moms

The Best Nursing Bras According to Breastfeeding Moms

If there is one thing that changes after having a baby... it's your breasts. Chances are you don't quite recognize them anymore. Breastfeeding initially means your breasts are a lot bigger than they used to be and probably leaking milk on a regular basis. Once your...

What Self-Care Really Means for Moms? Being Your OWN Mom.

What Self-Care Really Means for Moms? Being Your OWN Mom.

Self-care as a mom is almost a joke at this point. It seems like some luxury we will never be rich enough to afford either with enough money or time. We feel like we are always running on a deficit of either income or sleep. But self-care isn't about the mani/pedi's...

Easy Meals for New Moms

Easy Meals for New Moms

Meal planning can overwhelm anyone. Add a newborn into the mix and it can be downright impossible! But if you’re due any day now or just had a bundle of joy, read on for tips and tricks to survive the first three months with a newborn. These easy meals for new moms are life-savers.

by contributor: Taran Conwell

These four tips for creating easy meals for new moms are so simple (and delicious). Mix and match to create a plan that works for you, without the usual stress that meal planning brings up. Because as a new mom, you’re probably sleep deprived and spending most of your time feeding that adorable tiny human. But YOU need nourished too

1. Keep it Simple

  • Don’t add anything crazy to your meal plan in the first three months. No new recipes! Stay off Pinterest and Tasty. Now is not the time to try new things. Keep your meal plan basic so you don’t get overwhelmed. Feel free to download your FREE copy of my Monthly Meal Planning Guide so you can keep these ideas at your fingertips.
  • Make a big batch of chili, soup or a casserole and it eat it twice or even three times. Leftovers are king but they are especially necessary when you first have a baby. Pull out the crockpot standbys and tried and true family casseroles. Double the recipe if necessary so you can have a second dinner. Chili and cornbread one-night can easily become nachos by serving it over chips and adding cheese and sour cream. Make the really craveable casseroles or soups so your family will be excited for the leftovers! My Slow Cooker Chicken Chili is always a hit in my house. (Pictured below)
  • Keep your family classics in rotation. Stick to the dishes you know best and repeat them like crazy. No one will mind if you serve tacos, spaghetti and chili every week. A. They’re just happy to be eating. B. You just had a baby, so they don’t get to complain about anything.

2. Get help from the store

  • Rotisserie Chickens. Grabbing a rotisserie chicken every week is an affordable, convenient and healthy dinner option. You can either carve it and serve with a simple salad and bakery bread or shred up the meat and make a quick chicken salad or soup.
  • Freezer Section Meals are a great staple to add to your meal plan. These can be as simple as frozen pizza and a bagged salad kit, frozen Trader Joe’s Mandarin Chicken & Rice (pictured below) or frozen meatballs you can throw in the crockpot with jarred spaghetti sauce and serve in rolls for Meatball Subs. If you can stock up on some of these items before baby comes, even better!
  • Salads. Grab a garden salad kit, a pack of grape tomatoes, some deli turkey, a bag of shredded cheese and then hard boil a couple eggs. Chop it all up and you have a super simple chef salad that everyone will love. The options for this one are endless, but that combo is my personal favorite.

3. Sandwiches & Breakfast for Dinner are your New Best Friends

  • Hit up the deli section to make yummy wraps and sandwiches. The deli section is your best friend during these first three months. Deli meats and cheeses as well as chicken salad make great entree sandwiches or wraps. They also gave really yummy side dishes like pasta salad, potato salad and rice pilaf. Grab some chips and you’re good to go!
  • Breakfast for Dinner ideas are endless and so easy. It can be as simple as scrambled eggs, toast and fruit or you can take it a step further and whip up a breakfast casserole like this Breakfast Bubble Bake (pictured below)

4. Take Help When Offered (and don’t afraid to ask)

  • If someone offers to bring a meal, ask when they want to drop it off! Don’t you dare pass on help when it’s offered. People want to help you! If someone says “I’d love to bring a meal sometime.” Respond back with “That would be great! How about Thursday, the 7th?” Accepting help when it’s offered is truly the best thing you can do for you and your new babe.
  • Get take-out at least once a week and ditch the side of guilt it comes with. If you aren’t a family that typically eats take-out, you should start for the first three months of baby’s life. Just once a week and it can be as simple as fried chicken from the local grocery store that your husband picks up on his way home from work. Or maybe a local pizza place does a $10 Monday night special, make that your take-out night. Just embrace it for this crazy season of life.
  • Ask friends to bring meals in lieu of gifts. Now this is easier said than done but if someone does ask you what you could use for the new baby or what size clothes the baby is in, simply ask for a dinner instead. Something as simple as “That’s so sweet of you. While we would appreciate any gifts you bring, the thing we could use the most right now is a home cooked meal.” I find that people really respond well to that response.

So, there you have it, my tried and true tips for getting you family fed the first three months of newborn-life. You don’t have to implement them all but hopefully you got a few ideas to keep with you. These easy meals for new moms will make that fourth trimester sooo much simpler. Make sure you stay well nourished for that little squish, mama, and let us know in the comments which of these easy meals for new moms you can’t wait to try!

Hi! I’m Taran and I make meal planning easy, so you can stress less at dinner.

I love all things coffee related, watching The Office reruns with my husband and chasing my daughters around (most days).

I love helping busy moms make monthly meal plans with dinners they can cook quickly that their families will love. When I’m not in the kitchen you can find me hanging with my friends, perusing Goodwill or planning my next state to see!

Find me at: www.undomesticmom.com or www.facebook.com/theundomesticmom

 

 

 

Self-Care Ideas for Moms (From a Dad and Teacher)

Self-Care Ideas for Moms (From a Dad and Teacher)

These self-care ideas for moms are must-know if you are one of those people who craves alone time and doesn't know what to do with it when you get it! Ironically, it's a dad who is going to share some of these essential self-care strategies with us today. Taking care...

Teaching Kids to Cook, Getting Started

Teaching Kids to Cook, Getting Started

Teaching kids to cook has a ton of benefits for parents and kids. While it may seem daunting to let your little ones take on the responsibility of helping prepare meals, it is totally doable. Most parents make sure that the entire kitchen is baby-proofed and safe for...

Mom Hack: Knowing Baby Developmental Leaps

Mom Hack: Knowing Baby Developmental Leaps

Dealing with cranky kids is rough, but if you want to take those extra fussy baby days in stride then knowing baby developmental leaps is essential! We've all been there. Our sweet little squish is the most calm and cool kid ever... until they're not. You wake up one...

5 Tips for How to Give Birth Naturally Without Pain

5 Tips for How to Give Birth Naturally Without Pain

Want to know how to give birth naturally without pain? Awesome! It IS possible to greatly reduce discomfort during birth. These are the five best ways. Before we dive into specific natural childbirth techniques for relaxation and feeling more comfortable in birth,...

Clearing Clutter Where to Start

Clearing Clutter Where to Start

It's so easy to get buried in stuff when you're a parent. Kids have so many things! Combine that with yours and a partner's? The clutter can easily get out of control. That's why today we are going to talk about clearing clutter, where to start. Mia Danielle joins me...

Two Shirt Method: How to Discreetly Breastfeed in Public

Two Shirt Method: How to Discreetly Breastfeed in Public

Learning to breastfeed as a new mom can be challenging, and when it comes to breastfeeding in public, things can get awkward pretty quickly when you aren’t very experienced at it. But there is a super simple trick to low-key nursing in public, it’s called the two shirt method.

Having a Motherhood Identity Crisis?

Having a Motherhood Identity Crisis?

Becoming a mother for the first (or second, third, fourth, five...) time is life-changing and beautiful, but it can also lead to a motherhood identity crisis. People say your life is over when you have children. I tried to deny it. I tried to fight it. I tried to...

Nourishing Your Body (Simple Self-Care Part 3)

Nourishing Your Body (Simple Self-Care Part 3)

How often do we think about our body as either a baby-making factory or something that needs to snap back into pre-baby shape? We are either feeding our bodies to feed our growing babies, or trying to morph it into something it resembled before a human incubated...

The Best Nursing Bras According to Breastfeeding Moms

The Best Nursing Bras According to Breastfeeding Moms

If there is one thing that changes after having a baby… it’s your breasts.

Chances are you don’t quite recognize them anymore. Breastfeeding initially means your breasts are a lot bigger than they used to be and probably leaking milk on a regular basis.

Once your babies grow a little, the engorgement might end, but that just means they turn into a couple of slightly deflated balloons. One thing that is a MUST is a good quality nursing bra, and we’ve scoured the internet for the best ones according to real breastfeeding moms

These nursings bras have actually been recommended by breastfeeding moms. We will break down the pro’s and con’s of each.

(Just an FYI. This page contains affiliate links. If you choose to purchase something from a link we provide, we get a small commission at no extra cost to you! If you plan to purchase an item from this list, using our link is a way to show us you enjoy what we are doing, and it costs you $0. 😍)

 

Medela Maternity and Nursing Comfort Bra

Let’s start with the standard. When it comes to anything breastfeeding, Medela is the brand that comes to mind for most. 

This bra is basic, but comfy. 

You can grab them on Amazon for a little over $30, or grab one on your next Target run.

The Medela nursing tanks are pretty bomb too!

Ready for a little step up from the Medela? Try the Bravado.

This design is very similar, it gets great reviews on Amazon, AND it comes in a variety of colors. (Pretty cute ones too!)

Thousands of moms are currently counting this one as their fav, and comes in sizes XS-XXL.

The pretty colors come with a slightly higher price tag though, $49 on Amazon. 

Calling all well endowed and plus sized mamas! This one is for you.

This one isn’t just cute and a bit sexy, it’s also available in large and unusual sizes!

Grab it on Amazon for around $69 in sizes:

32GG-46DD

 

Great for support! This one was so good, one mama bought multiples! 

It’s simple, but supportive (and actually not unattractive). 

The perfect bra for super active moms who still need access for those nursing sessions. 

And… it’s not too pricey, selling for just $19.99 on Amazon.

Only drawback is it is a bit thick for some moms, but for those who don’t want to be able to cut glass with those breastfeeding nips, this might do the trick.

We can personally attest to the comfort of this bra! 

When it comes to looks, it does tend to go towards the granny side of sexy, but I didn’t care. 

We wore this nearly every day for at least two years before it wore out, making the $60ish price tag on Amazon totally worth it!

AND this particular bra comes in many sizes from 32B to 42H!

(I also just love Hot Milk bras in general, and will share more below)

Wacoal Women’s Nursing Bra

These babies are super cute, and dare we say even a little sexy??? 😍

A bit pricier than others. This option runs for about $65 on Amazon.

BUT – it does go up to some larger sizes, including 38G.

A lot of the reviews say this is the ONLY wired bra a lot of moms have been able to wear comfortably and they totally swear by it. 

These definitely seem like they are worth the investment!

Self-Care Ideas for Moms (From a Dad and Teacher)

Self-Care Ideas for Moms (From a Dad and Teacher)

These self-care ideas for moms are must-know if you are one of those people who craves alone time and doesn't know what to do with it when you get it! Ironically, it's a dad who is going to share some of these essential self-care strategies with us today. Taking care...

Why Breastfeeding is Important Beyond Health

Why Breastfeeding is Important Beyond Health

We could talk about the health benefits for mom and baby which most people point to, but there are other reasons to consider why breastfeeding is important. Breastfeeding is a complicated topic in mom culture today. While we are in a sort of renaissance when it comes...

Teaching Kids to Cook, Getting Started

Teaching Kids to Cook, Getting Started

Teaching kids to cook has a ton of benefits for parents and kids. While it may seem daunting to let your little ones take on the responsibility of helping prepare meals, it is totally doable. Most parents make sure that the entire kitchen is baby-proofed and safe for...

Mom Hack: Knowing Baby Developmental Leaps

Mom Hack: Knowing Baby Developmental Leaps

Dealing with cranky kids is rough, but if you want to take those extra fussy baby days in stride then knowing baby developmental leaps is essential! We've all been there. Our sweet little squish is the most calm and cool kid ever... until they're not. You wake up one...

5 Tips for How to Give Birth Naturally Without Pain

5 Tips for How to Give Birth Naturally Without Pain

Want to know how to give birth naturally without pain? Awesome! It IS possible to greatly reduce discomfort during birth. These are the five best ways. Before we dive into specific natural childbirth techniques for relaxation and feeling more comfortable in birth,...

Clearing Clutter Where to Start

Clearing Clutter Where to Start

It's so easy to get buried in stuff when you're a parent. Kids have so many things! Combine that with yours and a partner's? The clutter can easily get out of control. That's why today we are going to talk about clearing clutter, where to start. Mia Danielle joins me...

Two Shirt Method: How to Discreetly Breastfeed in Public

Two Shirt Method: How to Discreetly Breastfeed in Public

Learning to breastfeed as a new mom can be challenging, and when it comes to breastfeeding in public, things can get awkward pretty quickly when you aren’t very experienced at it. But there is a super simple trick to low-key nursing in public, it’s called the two shirt method.

Having a Motherhood Identity Crisis?

Having a Motherhood Identity Crisis?

Becoming a mother for the first (or second, third, fourth, five...) time is life-changing and beautiful, but it can also lead to a motherhood identity crisis. People say your life is over when you have children. I tried to deny it. I tried to fight it. I tried to...

Nourishing Your Body (Simple Self-Care Part 3)

Nourishing Your Body (Simple Self-Care Part 3)

How often do we think about our body as either a baby-making factory or something that needs to snap back into pre-baby shape? We are either feeding our bodies to feed our growing babies, or trying to morph it into something it resembled before a human incubated...

Why You Need a Postpartum Doula

Why You Need a Postpartum Doula

by guest blogger: Felicia Trumbauer

Postpartum can be a wonderful blissful time of settling into your new family, or it can be a whirlwind of stress. With all the expenses associated with a new baby, sometimes it’s easy to ignore why you need a postpartum doula.

However, one of the best ways you can get support and ease during this transition is by hiring a postpartum doula. (After hiring our own, we swear by them!)

Felicia Trumbauer is a doula-in-training and mother of two.

She shares her top five reasons why you need a postpartum doula.

 

1. She’ll listen.

A woman embarking on motherhood may want to talk to someone about multiple parts of this life changing time but sometimes she doesn’t have the type of listener she needs.

Many women have people in their lives that give well meaning, and not so well meaning, advice when the mother is really looking for someone to just hear her. Some people can be judgmental and make the new mom feel as though she isn’t good enough.

A postpartum doula will never do that. She will give the new mother space to speak her thoughts into existence and work through her feelings, allowing the new mother to come to her own conclusions. If mom needs to cry she’ll have a tissue, if mom needs to retell her birth experience for the tenth time she’ll listen fully.

There are many physical parts of postpartum that a doula can help with but having someone that will listen too is one of the biggest emotional advantages that comes with hiring a postpartum doula.

2. She’ll help manage the little things.

Who is going to walk the dog? Who is going to take the older sibling to school? Who is going to water the garden? When a woman is about to have a baby she tries her best to plan for every scenario but there’s always something that gets forgotten.

A postpartum doula will sit down and help the mother and non-birthing partner plan for all the smaller day to day tasks that may be missed. She can help create a schedule, remind certain people of their obligations, and help the new mother feel more at ease because there will be less to worry about.

3. She’ll make sure mom takes a shower.

I don’t know about you but when I had my daughter, showering became a luxury. Personal hygiene should never be something that goes on the back burner. Unfortunately when there’s a new baby in the mix and life keeps moving as if nothing major has happened, some new moms are lucky to shower every day.

A postpartum doula will be there to watch over the baby so mom is able to shower, eat, or sleep if she needs to. These daily tasks help the mother feel more like a normal human being again which helps her relax and focus on what really needs attention.

 

4. She’ll have resources for any service the family might need.

A postpartum doula is a generalist and is not a medical provider. She has knowledge about a lot of subjects but isn’t quite an expert in every one. If the new mother is experiencing pain during breastfeeding the postpartum doula will give referrals to trusted lactation consultants in the area. She knows when and where the Mom’s Club meets and where the closest car seat technician is.

If there is grief or trauma surrounding the transition into parenthood the postpartum doula has referrals to support groups and therapists to help get through a trying time.

 

5. She’ll make sure everyone can focus on bonding with the baby.

There are many people that come to visit when there’s a freshly born human around. Most of them say they’ll help around the house or bring a meal, but more often than not these people come to hold the baby while the mother is left cleaning or feeling like she needs to entertain guests.

A postpartum doula will actually do the things that Aunt Mary said she’d do. The postpartum doula will load the dish washer, make sure the diaper changing area is stocked, and fold the laundry. She is there to make sure each member of the family is able to get to know the baby and take in the few short weeks of the newborn period. If the non birthing partner is worried about bonding the postpartum doula will have ideas that will be special to this person and the baby.

If there’s an older sibling the postpartum doula will make sure the child doesn’t feel ignored and will help that child create a bond with the baby. The postpartum doula helps facilitate a loving environment with as little stress as possible.

Once you’re a mom, your number one priority is bonding and spending time with that little squish. But you really need to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. A postpartum doula will make sure that your wellbeing doesn’t fall through the cracks as you make this transition.

Felicia is a mother to one fierce little toddler. After having her daughter she realized how little American culture cares about the new mother. Felicia is currently working towards postpartum doula certification through CAPPA. With a background rooted in activism and social work she’s looking forward to continue helping vulnerable populations become empowered. You can find out more about her on her photography page at www.littlewarriorphotography.com.

How I Feel About My Postpartum Body Now

How I Feel About My Postpartum Body Now

This body…

It has done amazing things.
Birthed three children and nursed them for over 3.5 years combined.

In one breath I thank every stretch mark.
In the next I curse them.

While I know this body gave me my babies, part of me can only see the imperfections as flaws.
Part of me can only see this body as something to be ashamed of.

And while I encourage other women to love and be proud of their bodies, I have yet to 100% fully embrace my own.

My breasts have always been large. But growing up in the 90’s it is imprinted in my DNA to believe the only acceptable breasts are made of silicone, exactly a D cup, and perky in a way that gravity would never naturally allow.

I look at them now and when I see them in the mirror I just think they look gross. Deflated. Floppy. Saggy.

My nipples and areolas are are too big to be pretty or sexy.

No.

They aren’t what I would consider the ideal set of breasts.

But biology would disagree.

They sag in a way that makes them perfect height for a baby on my lap to latch on.

The large nipples and areolas are the perfect target for a baby to find.

My squishy belly is a nice little pillow for those babies to cuddle up on while having a meal.

If only I could avoid looking in the mirror and actually seeing the reality. I can just keep the view I see when I look down at those little faces while having their milk and I can feel proud. I can love my body.

But the truth is when I look at it in the mirror, I don’t see it with my eyes. I see it with the eyes of society. Of all those who judge my body and the bodies of all other women.

You see to society, our bodies only matter if they can be sexually pleasing.

How well they can function in birthing and nurturing our babies, or Hell, even just existing at all outside of a man’s gaze or touch, doesn’t matter.

And as much as I’ve tried to cut out this view… it permeates.

So I will work to heal this wound along with the many others I have had laid at my feet as a woman and a mother.

In the meantime I’ll avoid the mirror and try to see my body as my babies see it.

A haven.
A heaven.
A place of comfort.
A place of safety.
A nurturing embrace.

And I’ll keep telling myself this until I feel it in my bones. Until the voices of others are erased, and the only one left is my own.

Self-Care Ideas for Moms (From a Dad and Teacher)

Self-Care Ideas for Moms (From a Dad and Teacher)

These self-care ideas for moms are must-know if you are one of those people who craves alone time and doesn't know what to do with it when you get it! Ironically, it's a dad who is going to share some of these essential self-care strategies with us today. Taking care...

Teaching Kids to Cook, Getting Started

Teaching Kids to Cook, Getting Started

Teaching kids to cook has a ton of benefits for parents and kids. While it may seem daunting to let your little ones take on the responsibility of helping prepare meals, it is totally doable. Most parents make sure that the entire kitchen is baby-proofed and safe for...

Mom Hack: Knowing Baby Developmental Leaps

Mom Hack: Knowing Baby Developmental Leaps

Dealing with cranky kids is rough, but if you want to take those extra fussy baby days in stride then knowing baby developmental leaps is essential! We've all been there. Our sweet little squish is the most calm and cool kid ever... until they're not. You wake up one...