Why Boys Need to See Frozen 2

Why Boys Need to See Frozen 2

Frozen fever has overtaken my home, and it isn’t just my little 5-year-old princess belting out the songs. My tiny princes, just 2-years-old, can be heard uttering the phrase “let it go.”

The first Frozen broke the mold when it comes to Disney princess movies, and Frozen 2 has taken it a step further.

The boundary-breaking princess empowerment is so important for little girls.

I can only look back and imagine how it would have impacted me to have Anna and Elsa to emulate instead of Ariel… You know, a movie about a princess finding her own voice instead of a princess giving her voice away for a man. (No hate. I still love the Little Mermaid and all the OG princesses.)

But I was also thinking over the last few days about how having movies like Frozen and now Frozen 2 will have positive impacts on the boys who watch them too.

There is a key moment that happens in Frozen 2 (no spoilers) when Anna finds herself in a bit of a jam. Her bf, Kristoff, rides in on (not a white horse) his reindeer, and says “I’m here. What do you need?”

That tiny bit of dialogue shows exactly the role that men play in this story.

Kristoff is NOT there to be Anna’s savior or take credit for saving the day.

He’s there to support her.

I’m not going to lie. That tiny little piece of this movie made me tear up a little. For so many women, this is all we have ever truly wanted even if we didn’t know it.

Not a man to save us as damsels in distress, but to be a partner who gives us a boost when we need and then steps out of our way when they aren’t needed. (Which of course we would do the same for them.)

Kristoff is the opposite of toxic masculinity.

He’s an exceptionally well-balanced version of a “masculine” man. He’s a man that young boys can emulate and look up to, while hopefully also looking up to the female characters in the story too.

I’ve always considered myself a “feminist” in that I believe in equality, but I never thought much about how inequality also harms boys and men too in a much different way.

You know… the whole notion that boys shouldn’t cry, be emotional, vulnerable, or basically any version of human that displays what is perceived as weakness.

This causes a lot of pain for our boys, just like being oppressed hurts our girls, the boys are being harmed through this type of thinking.

Until recently there were not a lot of men for boys to look up to in movies that were truly well-rounded individuals with healthy emotional lives.

Kristoff though? He is.

Beyond the way he supports Anna in a very modern way, he also has a deep emotional world which is put on display through his new song “Lost in the Woods,” a song that delves into his feelings for Anna.

Finally, it can’t be overstated how important it is for boys to see women who are powerful and in leadership roles.

The Frozen sisters each have their own strengths (and weaknesses). Both are powerful fully form and multi-dimensional characters. They are women that a child could and should look up to for one reason or another, including male children.

As women claim more power for themselves in the real world as well as imaginary worlds of film, boys will need to be able to work under and with women in order to be successful.

If they are only ever exposed to art, stories, film, etc. that shows men in the positions of power, how will they be able to exist in a world where the power dynamics are changing (and hopefully continue to change)?

So take your boys to see Frozen 2. It’s time boys had female leaders to look up to, and male supporters who are emotionally intelligent and non-toxic.

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What I Learned from Breastfeeding Twins for Two Years

What I Learned from Breastfeeding Twins for Two Years

Breastfeeding twins has been major accomplishment. I have reached my goal of nursing twins for two full years. This is what helped me get there.

The odds are stacked against many moms when they start their journey of breastfeeding twins, but after recently reaching the 2-year mark of nursing my twins, I’ve learned a few things that might make your breastfeeding journey a little easier.

These are the key tips that have been essential in my success in breastfeeding twins for over 2 years now.

A couple quick disclaimers though. I am not a lactation consultant, midwife, doctor, or have any professional credentials. I am just a mom who has breastfed a singleton and breastfed twins for a combined 6 years now.

I also have included affiliate links to products and services I love, which means if you use my link and make a purchase I get a small commission at not extra cost to you.

I was a veteran breastfeeder

I need to get this one out of the way right off the bat. When I got pregnant with my twins, I was actually still nursing my daughter who was 2 at the time.

So not only did I have experience breastfeeding, but I had already successfully breastfed one child to natural term.

She finally weaned somewhere in the first trimester, though at that point we were down to only nursing 2-3 times per day. I was able to wean her fairly easily just by redirecting her to snacks, cow’s milk, and her favorite yogurt.

During those 2 years of breastfeeding, I learned most of the lessons that I’ll share here, and then those lessons were reiterated and strengthened during my journey with breastfeeding twins.

Though there were some new tricks I picked up, and tips that are a little unique for twins that I’ll share too.

Do your research

Breastfeeding is natural, but it doesn’t necessarily come naturally. I don’t think I have ever met a mom who didn’t have at least one stumbling block when it came to breastfeeding whether that was sore nipples, latch issues, biting, low supply, tongue/lip ties, or even pressure from family to quit.

While I’m sure formula moms face many challenges as well, breastfeeding presents its own set of challenges. Even if you and baby establish your breastfeeding relationship smoothly, chances are that you will need some sort of knowledge before giving birth so you are prepared.

There are a few resources that I LOVE and recommend wholeheartedly for learning more about breastfeeding.

Books on Breastfeeding:

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

This book is from La Leche League (LLL), which is one of (if not THE) foremost organization supporting breastfeeding moms. It was created by breastfeeding moms who needed support, so banded together to create what they needed. 90% of what I learned about breastfeeding was from this book.

Mothering Multiples

La Leche League followed up the above with a book specifically designed to help mamas with multiples, as the title implies. This isn’t only about breastfeeding, but definitely goes over breastfeeding more than one baby.

Websites and Online Resources for Breastfeeding:

KellyMom

If I had to choose ONE single resource for moms to know about, it would be KellyMom. This website has an answer to just about any and every breastfeeding question you might have. Including, a section about breastfeeding twins or multiples.

La Leche League

The LLL website is a great resource for getting answers to your breastfeeding questions, but also a place to find local LLL groups so you can find in-person support from other breastfeeding moms.

LactMed

Have a cold and want to know if that decongestant is ok to take while breastfeeding? Head over to this website. This is a database of medications and their known or unknown interactions while breastfeeding. I always recommend checking this even if you have gotten a doctor’s advice because sometimes their info is out of date, while LactMeds should be the most recent info.

Online Courses for Breastfeeding:

Milkology: The Ultimate Breastfeeding Class

This is an online course that is super affordable (only $19!). It was created by a mom of 3, and Certified Lactation Educator, Stacey Stewart. She has helped thousands learn how to breastfeed, and this course is an amazing resource to have at your fingertips.

Milkology: The Ultimate Back to Work Pumping Class

Because tons of moms go back to work after giving birth but still want to breastfeed, Stacey also created a course on pumping milk.

La Leche League for Moms of Twins/Multiples Facebook Group

It takes a village, right? This is my favorite breastfeeding group. Tons of other moms to tap into when you need support.

To tandem or not to tandem?

I planned on tandem nursing my guys from the very start, and I was tandem feeding them within the first day of their birth.

However, if you are first-time mom or have never breastfed any babies ever before, you might want to consider nursing separately until you get the hang of it.

Even though I was a pro at breastfeeding when I had my boys I DID take some time to nurse them individually before switching to tandem so that I knew they were good to go and had no problems latching on.

As soon as babies are able and you feel comfortable, I do strongly suggest tandem feeding when possible. Not only does this save time for you, but it also helps get the babies on the same schedule.

I never push or force my kids onto a schedule. Instead, I follow their cues and allow them to get into their own routines. The only thing I did to really encourage my boys to be on the same schedule was also trying to tandem feed. If one showed signs of hunger, I offered to both. Within a few weeks, they were pretty synced up.

The one product I think is essential for tandem feeding is the Brest Friend Twins nursing pillow. Some moms love the Twin-Z, but I love the structure and support of the Brest Friend. (Plus it has a pocket to store your drinks, snacks, remote, phone, whatever you need for those long nursing sessions.)

Protip on using the Brest Friend, have extra pillows for propping. You CAN use this pillow on its own, but I found that what was most comfy for me was to sit on a couch with legs criss-cross applesauce, a pillow or two behind my back and one underneath the Brest Friend to raise the height up a little. Propped like that I could Netlflix and Chill while nursing comfortably all day.

Have a plan for night feedings

When they were newborns I would also wake both at the same time to feed, but as time went on I let them each wake as they wanted to feed.

To make things easier for me, I had a sidecar crib, which is a crib without the front section attached to the bed so you can have the best of both worlds, bedsharing and separate space for the babies and you. So when one would wake I would grab him, latch him on, and then do the same when the other woke.

If both woke at the same time I would sit up in bed and nurse them tandem.

Deciding on where baby sleeps can be a bit overwhelming for parents. I choose to bedshare and/or use a sidecar because it is the safest option for me and my family, and it also means I get more sleep!

Here are a few resources for you to decide what might work best for you:

Sweet Sleep from LLL

A guide on co-sleeping from Mattress Insider

AAP sleep guideslines

Safe Co-Sleeping with Multiples from the Badass Breastfeeder

How to breastfeed twins in public

Unless you plan to never leave your home, you will at some point have to decide how you’re going to feed your babies while away from home.

Tandem nursing can be a bit awkward when you are doing it at home, let alone in public.

Some moms are able to manage tandem feeding in public right from the beginning. Some cover, some use the two-shirt method, and some just let it all hang out. Whatever you’re comfortable with is what you should do.

For me though, I just knew I wouldn’t be able to get it right without a pillow or something to help me prop the babies up. So when they were tiny infants I usually brought a bottle of pumped milk with me and if both were hungry at the same time, one would get boob, and one would get a bottle of pumped milk.

Once my boys were bigger and had better control over their heads and bodies, I just tandem nursed them wherever we were using the two-shirt method.

The one way I was able to comfortable tandem feed when mine were newborns was while babywearing. I used a size 8 woven wrap in a front wrap cross carry to wear both of them and was able to nurse them easily that way.

Know where to get support

I’m going to be honest. In my experience, pediatricians have not been the most helpful when it comes to supporting me breastfeeding. Many times they were poorly informed about the basics of breastfeeding mechanics and were very quick to tell me to supplement with formula even though I had an overabundance of breastmilk.

This isn’t to say to never take your pediatrician’s advice or to just ignore them, but be clear on where you’re most likely to get the support you need.

Most times this will be with the help of an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). There are a few different certifications that can fall under “lactation consultant” or some variant of that phrase, but an IBCLC is like the gold standard of certification.

So when my doctor recommended I supplement with my twins, which I didn’t personally feel was necessary, I wanted to also get the backing of an expert to ensure I was actually doing the right thing. That’s when I sought out the opinion of the IBCLC.

Doctors generally have little to no training on breastfeeding, while IBCLC’s are basically specialists in that area. For me, the IBCLC’s recommendations trumped the pediatricians.

Your opinion might be different. You might also have a much different situation than I did. Maybe if my twins were premature and had complications I’d lean more heavily on the pediatrician’s opinion, maybe not. But the point here is not to tell you who to listen to, rather use your own judgment and do your own research on where you think you can get the best answers for you and your baby.

Breastfeeding twins is exhausting but so rewarding. I am so happy to have been able to nurse my twins this long. Hopefully, these few tips can help you do the same if it’s your goal.

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Gifts for Moms Who Don’t Want Anything

Gifts for Moms Who Don’t Want Anything

It is so frustrating shopping for gifts for moms who don’t want anything, isn’t it?

But even if she proclaims she doesn’t need a thing, there are gifts for moms who don’t want anything that are exactly what they need!

This year, get the mom in your life something that will make her life easier and happier with these ideas for gifts for moms who don’t want anything that she secretly wants and might not tell you.

We asked more than 5,000 moms what three wishes they would ask a genie to make their momlife easier. Can you guess what they said?

Unsurprisingly the top three responses were: help with cooking, cleaning, and babysitting. Of course, there were other choices too like more energy, for their kids to actually sleep at night, and the ability to freeze time.

The following gift ideas for mom are inspired by those responses! So here we go.

Dinner Delivered

Grocery shopping with kids is like a special kind of torture reserved for the 7th circle of hell.

Seriously, it can be so exhausting both physically and emotionally. Then you have to actually cook that food you just bought, but really you’re probably too exhausted and just end up getting drive-thru instead of eating that nutritious food you just spent a small fortune on.

Did you know you could have that food delivered to your door for free? (or pretty close to it?)

With an Amazon Prime membership, you can have groceries delivered to mom’s door so she can Netflix and chill instead of losing her mind while a toddler screams because she won’t let him get another treat.

To learn how to give Amazon Prime as a gift, just check out this link.

AND moms can even order ready-to-cook meal kits directly from Amazon Fresh. No need to commit to monthly subscriptions. Just choose what she wants that week and delicious meal kids (many with 4-5 stars) are delivered right to the door with all the ingredients necessary to prepare an incredibly healthy and yummy meal.

Of course, there is always the good old standby of ordering some pizza to be delivered! (OMG, and now I’m so hungry for pizza…)

Get Mom a maid

This sounds a little outlandish perhaps, but did you know you can order cleaning services or your home on Amazon? Seriously.

Deep cleaning, gutter cleaning, carpet cleaning, grout cleaning, and the list goes on and on. Take a little off a mama’s plate and get her some help.

You can either set up a cleaning service yourself by going here (check with her first of course) or get her an Amazon gift card that she can use towards services.

Care.com also offers housekeeping services! You might have heard of them from their babysitting and nanny directory services, but there are a ton of other services available on their website.

Hire a Babysitter

Most moms won’t be cool with just ANYone coming over to watch their littles. At first, this might sound like it could go into the column of the very bad list of ideas for Christmas gifts for moms, but there are ways to make it work.

Unless you know a babysitter that mom is already comfortable with and loves, then this probably isn’t something to spring on her. Instead, you’ll want to craft the plan with her so she can give her ok on whoever the babysitter is.

There are two ways I recommend finding someone trustworthy enough to keep mamas babies safe and happy.

The first is to ask around for personal recommendations. Chances are you know someone who will give you names and info on some local babysitters. The best babysitter I ever had was a friend from high school, who really is more like an aunt to my boys now!

The second is to check out Care.com. When my favorite babysitter couldn’t cover all the days I needed, I hired backup. Care.com is awesome because you can see all prospective babysitter’s qualifications and even background checks.

If actually hiring a babysitter isn’t really in the realm of possibility, then what about a gym membership?

Hear me out. Many gyms and local YMCA’s will offer totally free childcare! At my local YMCA I can drop the kids there while I take a yoga class or go for a swim in the pool and it’s included in my membership!

What do you think? Will you actually try one of these gifts for moms who don’t want anything? Let us know in the comments!

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3 Ways Moms Can Embrace Their Inner Witch

3 Ways Moms Can Embrace Their Inner Witch

Maybe we’ve just seen Hocus Pocus one too many times, but tons of millennial moms are learning to channel their inner Witch.

A lot of moms are tapping into that inner Witch power without even realizing it. Perhaps it’s partly an aesthetic choice (cause witchy vibes look cool) and partly a desire to return to more natural and simple ways of life, but a lot of trends have somewhat witchy roots.

Let’s talk about 3 ways moms can embrace their inner Witch, and perhaps even are without knowing it.

Essential Oils

Everyone and their mother are using essential oils to some degree at this point, right? Whether you’re selling them as part of an MLM or not, chances are you’ve at least dabbled or know someone who has dabbled in using essential oils.

Essential oils, herbalism, and using natural remedies for healing are super witchy.

Back in the day, many “witches” were really wise women and local healers. Here in my local area of central Pennsylvania, there was an entire form of folk magick that was mostly used as remedies to heal ailments for humans and even livestock.

Those who used this folk magick were even Christian and invoked God and Jesus to aid in healing along with poultices, herbs, incantations and more.

There’s always that mom or two in your favorite Facebook mom group who tells you to dump some blend of essential oils on whatever ailment your kid has… and hey, sometimes they are spot on, right? These natural healing remedies can work wonders.

But it isn’t just a matter of using them to avoid introducing more chemicals into your life, there are millions of moms across the globe using essential oils for basically a light form of spellcraft right now.

Have you ever used one of those blends labeled something like “Abundance” or “Release” or “Magnify Your Purpose?” That’s a combo of oils from herbs that have historical significance or a history of being used to promote certain qualities, like abundance.

That mix of oils was created with a specific intention and now you are using that oil with a specific intention when you dab it on with your rollerball or drop it in the diffuser.

Using your intent and will to bring about a desired result is at its base, a spell.

Journaling

This is a huge generalization, but many Witches are on their path at least in part because they are committed to personal development.

While channeling your inner Witch can include leaning into using herbs and natural remedies, taking part in ritual, and crafting spells, it can also be with a major focus on deepening the relationship you have with yourself.

In fact, it can be argued that personal development and becoming more comfortable with yourself is essential in becoming a Witch.

Doing spellwork requires concentration and sometimes the ability to tap into different states of consciousness as many people do via meditation. This isn’t possible without a desire and ability to deal with a lot of internal stuff that can come up.

Shadow work is an essential piece of many witches’ practice.

Carl Jung, an early psychologist, brought the idea of the shadow and shadow work to the forefront.

The idea is that there are parts of us that are hidden, our shadow, aka our subconscious. Unless we can look at the parts of us that are in shadow and accept them, then we won’t ever be totally whole.

While the word “shadow” sounds dark, this could even include positive and good things that just aren’t in our consciousness or part of what we see about ourselves.

We all have blind spots, we all have a shadow. Shadow work is how we can grow our personal power and sovereignty, which is usually a pretty important thing to most witches.

You’ve probably heard of a spellbook, a grimoire, a book of shadows, or some variation thereof.

There is a distinction between many different names that witches call the different journals they keep, but many witches keep some form of journal where they keep track of their feelings, thoughts, and what they are working on as far as their personal development beyond just spells.

Journaling is where a lot of shadow work happens.

If you’ve never tried it, I seriously recommend picking up the practice of journaling.

You can start just by sitting down for five minutes every day and free write.

Don’t judge what you are writing. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense. Just do it. After a few minutes, you’ll find that something starts to flow, and whatever comes up will be telling of what you might want to focus on in your personal development or shadow work.

I love to recommend journaling for moms because usually…. we have a lot of feelings.

Motherhood is a time of massive change and it can be hard to navigate those changes. Journaling is a way to get it all out so you don’t drown in the waves of feels that can come over you. Sometimes embracing that inner witch can help you get through motherhood.

 

Reconnect with Nature

Making distinctions between forms of witchcraft and earth-based religions would be an entire post in and of itself, but one thing most have in common is a focus on nature.

While I AM going to suggest you get your butt out into nature and outdoors because it’s good for you, this goes beyond just taking a walk outside every day.

Many Witches follow the Wheel of the Year. This is a collection of holidays and festivals that take place throughout the year and are generally tied to seasons, changing of seasons, harvest times, etc.

You don’t need to learn all of the different holidays if that doesn’t interest you, but you can adopt a similar way of following the seasons to help you reconnect with nature.

A lot of Pagan traditions were swallowed up by the rise of Christianity and western culture in general, so chances are you if you’re in the west or Christian, you are already following some traditions without knowing it.

Though what I’m trying to get at here is not so much about adopting Pagan traditions into your life as getting the spirit of what the Wheel of the Year is about.

How do the seasons make you feel?

What does the end of the summer mean to you? What does autumn represent? How can you explore your own psyche and grow through contemplating the beautiful changes in leaves during fall at the same time contemplating how their change also means their death as they fall from the trees.

What about winter? How do you physically feel? Should you embrace hibernating? Instead of pushing yourself to live just as you did when the days were longer, can you take something off your plate so you have more quiet and introspective time during the winter?

Instead of fighting the changes in seasons how can you embrace them?

You know that feeling you get when you stand at the edge of the ocean or look up at the night sky? And you feel simultaneously tiny and huge because you are part of that giant expanse? You can FEEL your connection to it and all the things in existence? (It’s not just me, right?)

Taking the time to truly connect to nature, not just in a day-to-day way, but also in the changes it goes through can help us make sense of our chaotic world that is so based on technology and business instead of nature and intuition. Infusing more nature-focused activities and thought can reconnect us with a place inside use we might have forgotten.

We can also pass this down to our kids too by showing them how to tap into that inner knowing they have and how it intertwines with nature. Do this by getting out in the woods and into nature as often as possible, and maybe even consider something like forest school.

What do you think? Ready to embrace your inner Witch? Are you already doing any of these things? Let me know in the comments!

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The Joy of Motherhood and Sacrifice of Motherhood

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Motherhood is something that is inexplicable and the joy of motherhood even more so.

Forget the stretch marks. The girl’s nights out you plan but never actually do. The way you pee your pants a little with even the slightest sneeze.

Forget the sleepless nights. The saggy boobs. The fact that you’ve reached double digits in days since you’ve showered.

Forget the sex you haven’t had in about 27 months. The yoga pants you wear because they’re the only thing that fits. The bleeding nipples from breastfeeding while you literally grit your teeth and cry so you can feed your baby.

These are just some of the sacrifices you made to have your babies.

But these are nothing. Nothing compared with the other thing you gave up.

Your peace of mind.

The quote goes something like… to be a mother means forever having your heart live outside of your body.

From the moment the second line turned pink on that stick or flashed with a big “yes,” worry is never gone.

It’s more like terror than worry half the time. Why?

Because just before the terror and worry set in, something even more mind blowing and earth shattering came.

The Joy.

The joy of knowing that something the size of a poppy seed is growing in your belly, and will one day be a living breathing human.

The joy of hearing their first cry. The joy of that first big gummy smile. The joy of being called “mama” for the first time. The joy of those first steps. The joy of actually seeing that little poppy seed bloom.

Our biggest fear? That we lose that joy.

So we hold them tight.

We worry that our words were too harsh. We kiss them goodnight and pray their smiling face greets us in the morning. We check the carseat 34 times before finally closing the door. We worry if they poop too much, or not enough. We kiss them and we hold them tight some more.

And in the midst of all the chaos of motherhood we find those moments of joy.

Those times that you wish could last forever.

The precious minutes where nothing else matters in the world but the feel of their little breath on your neck and their hair tickling your cheek.

This is what we sacrifice for. This is why we became a mom.

We traded a tiny piece of our sanity for the greatest joy a person can know.

Self-care? Balance? Personal hygiene?

Luxuries we threw out with the wrapper to that pregnancy test.

We sacrificed the who we were for who we’ve become.

A mom.

And nothing could make us happier.

The joy of motherhood is worth the sacrifice of motherhood every single time.

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Sex After Kids: Tips to Get Your Freak on More

Sex After Kids: Tips to Get Your Freak on More

Having sex after kids can be a little tricky, and many people find that they are just not getting it in like they used to.

Healing postpartum, busy schedules, the sheer exhaustion of having kids, and more can all lead to parents having just about zero sex after kids.

While sex isn’t the only thing that makes a marriage work, it does help keep a relationship tight. We all go through sex slumps, and that’s fine, but sometimes leads to a slump in the relationship as well because we forget to prioritize bonding time.

Sex is one of the ways that couples cement the relationship and continue to build trust with each other. Not to mention it is super fun!

So let’s brainstorm some ways on how to have more sex after kids.

Start sexting

Sometimes the last thing you feel like doing after a long day of work or a long day chasing kids around is gettin’ busy with your significant other. But you can inject some heat into the relationship by sending sexy texts throughout the day. 

If you are new to sexting it might feel awkward at first, but eventually, you figure out what works for you and your partner to really amp up the vibes in your sex life. When you’re trying to have sex after kids, sometimes a little virtual sex will have to do.

This is also awesome when you might not literally be able to have sex. Maybe you are away from each other for work, or you’re still not healed from birth, but want to start building that intimate connection again. Sexting is the way to go!

Be creative with location

I bedshare so our nice comfy king-sized bed is off limits for sex because at least one child is occupying it. Instead we do it in the guest room, bathroom, kitchen, hallway. Wherever we can grab some quick alone time, even the playroom sometimes! 

One of the biggest reasons many people are super hesitant to share sleep with their kids is an antiquated notion that it will ruin your sex life. This always makes me scratch my head a little bit, beds are not the only place you can get it on.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself

In many ways, my sex life with my husband has been the best it’s ever been since having kids. We are on a streak of having sex nearly every day for an entire month! Yeah… things have been quite steamy around here.

But it isn’t always like this. After having my twins I think we had sex like a handful of times that first year. There are a lot of reasons for this, but really a lot of came down to me not feeling ready.

If you push yourself to have sex when you don’t feel physically or emotionally ready, it is surely not going to be that enjoyable. Instead, focus on healing and tapping into your inner sex goddess on your own for a while. Then when you do reconnect in the bedroom, it’ll be way more orgasmic for you.

Get intimate in other ways

If you are in a phase of not having much sex after kids, try to find other ways to keep the intimacy between you and your partner.

Find time to hold hands, kiss, hug and cuddle. You’ll start to feel closer to each other, and a lot of times sex will naturally follow from there.

The point is to start feeling more connected to your parter no you’ll feel more comfortable hopping back in the sack, and to keep the connection between you strong when sex isn’t on the table, or just isn’t happening as often.

One idea would be to learn their love language so you can show them your affection in the way they can best receive it. So maybe hugs don’t do it for them, but doing the dishes for them does.

Schedule it

This doesn’t sound too romantic, but it works! While my husband and I do have sex spontaneously sometimes, we also have a sex routine.

First, we have a weekly date night scheduled on the calendar where we go get dinner and drinks together, and that often leads to taking advantage of the tinted windows in our car to get a quicky (or two) in at the restaurant parking lot.

Then, we also have fallen into a routine that goes like this. The husband puts twins to bed while I write for the blog, then I take a shower, then our daughter goes to bed, and then it’s sex time. At this point it is just our routine that we do every almost every night.

Just like forming any habit, you can get into the habit of getting laid.

Dress the part

So it turns out that a lot of men actually love our yoga pants, mamas. Seriously, and not to be rude, but I’ve seen you mamas strutting around Target in those tights… they look hot!

But what are you wearing underneath?

I have to admit that I really just want to wear granny panties every damn day. I now have one style of panty I LOVE, and so I bought 10 pair of them all in black. They are NOT super sexy, but they do just kind of blend in, and aren’t UNsexy.

When it’s date night though, I do my best to whip out those few pre-baby lacey undies still floating around my drawers. It’s partly because it might look sexier to my husband, but it’s also because I FEEL sexier when I wear the sexy lingerie.

Pick something that makes you feel hot, and go with it.

It can feel a bit awkward at first if you are still getting used to your new mombod, and that’s ok. It might take time to embrace your new body, but you are still a sex goddess when you want to be, and if it helps you ease into feeling sexy again, treat yourself to something that feels hot and luxurious.

What are your ideas? Have any awesome tips for how to have more (and better) sex after kids? Share them in the comments!

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