Having a Motherhood Identity Crisis?

Having a Motherhood Identity Crisis?

Becoming a mother for the first (or second, third, fourth, five…) time is life-changing and beautiful, but it can also lead to a motherhood identity crisis.

People say your life is over when you have children.

I tried to deny it. I tried to fight it. I tried to pretend like everything was mostly the same. That I was the same person with the same hopes and the same dreams.

But I wasn’t, and I’m happy about that.

Who wants to be the same person for their entire life? Is that what life is about? Stasis? Sameness? Surely not.

Just a quick look around the world and you will notice that the one thing that is constant is change. Seasons come and go. Friends (and family) come and go. Relationships come and go. Pets come and go. Stores come and go.

If you live in an area as I do, every fall the leaves turn the most beautiful shades of red, yellow, orange, and brown then fall off the trees whirling their way in the wind to the ground. We go through the barrenness of winter with the distractions of the holiday season but soon the cold sinks into your bones until you year for the freshness of spring and the heat of summer.

 

Change, good or bad, is a necessity. There isn’t even a choice in the matter for us mere mortals. The best we can do is adapt and go along for the ride.

The same is true for becoming a parent and learning to evolve into the person you are meant to be after that tiny human(s) comes into your life.

The story of motherhood is truly about learning to surrender to nature, and being able to ride the waves of life that come at you. Your identity cracks and crumbles then blows away like dust in the wind.

The new you remembers that girl inside of you. A piece of her is still there, but she’s a backup singer and not the lead vocalist anymore. There’s a new voice, a new soul, and a new person inside of the body that has also been permanently changed through carrying and birthing a child(ren).

You become someone who is different and in some ways less, but most ways, so much more. You grow and become stronger. A more developed and evolved human. Someone who is more secure in her skin, and knows her place in the world.

But there are growing pains.

There’s a period of time where you don’t know what is happening. It’s like transition during birth. You don’t know if you can even go on. Surely you can’t do it. It’s too much. Your grip on reality even seems to fade in and out. You’re in your own little world, but that world doesn’t look anything like it used to.

As your old self blows away in the wind, you try to grasp it. You reach for it, but it slips through your fingers. It’s disconcerting, to say the least.

You’re in this in-between space where your old identity is gone, but the new one is yet to emerge completely. You might have a small sense that something new is coming. A new you is forming but hasn’t fully taken shape yet. That’s the motherhood identity crisis.

And guess what? It doesn’t happen just once. It happens over and over again throughout your life. When you go from one child to more than one, and then with each little milestone your child has you have some small internal milestone that is almost unnoticeable. But as they grow, you grow.

 

The trick is to learn to not try to hold on. Yes, you grasp tightly to those little moments when you feel the joy exploding out of your heart as you hold their little bodies as they sleep, or when they say “mama” for the first time, or when the sound out their first word in a book. But holding onto this little moments is not the same as holding on to who you think you are.

Allowing ourselves to grow without holding too strongly to who we used to be is just as essential as how we allow our children to grow without being too overbearing.

So if you’re in the middle of a motherhood identity crisis, just hold one. It gets better. Then it gets worse. Then it gets better again. One day you will feel like you even if it’s a new you.

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For a lot of moms (and dads), being able to stay at home with the kids and ditch the 9-5 sounds like a fantasy. But once you’re actually at home with those kids 24/7, it can get a little monotonous (and chaotic) to say the least. It can be hard to actually enjoy it. So here are our 10 best tips on how to enjoy being a stay-at-home mom.

 

Every single day I spent away from my baby daughter while I commuted 1.5 hours each way to work I job I no longer cared for, I dreamed of being able to stay home with her. To have relaxed days of playtime, snacks, naps, and Mickey Mouse. The reality? It didn’t turn out exactly as I expected, and once I added brand new twins to the mix while also working part time from home, things got even more… complicated.

Some days were like a little slice of heaven, and other days had me seriously questioning my life choices… But over the years I’ve created a little toolbox of ways I don’t just deal with being a stay-at-home mom, but how to enjoy being a stay-at-home mom.

(BTW – this post has affiliate links, which means I get a small commission at no cost to you if you use certain products or services.)

1. Go Hiking

I know, I know. You’re probably already exhausted, so the thought of loading kids into car seats and then either carrying them or chasing them around the woods seems… daunting… to say the least. 

But getting out into nature does wonders for your mental health (and physical health), according to Harvard Health. It literally changes the way your brain is firing when you get out into nature for 90 minutes or more. 

Now what I do with my kids is really more a calm nature walk than a hardcore hike. But we end up getting some awesome exercise, fresh air, sunlight, and a little dirty. The weeks we miss going on hikes I can really tell by my mood and their moods. (We are a hot mess without this time.)

If you are interested in hiking, but have no idea where to go or where to get started, check out Hike It Baby.

I love Hike It Baby! We go on hikes with other moms and kids we have found with this organization nearly every week. It’s not only awesome because it gets us out of the house, but it also means my kids (and me) get to make some friends! (which is the next tip)

2. Make Mom Friends

“It takes a village,” right? 

The problem is that so many of us our isolated from our village. We have no community. We live too far away from family, or we just moved somewhere new. Maybe all our old friends don’t have kids yet, and we feel left out. There are a million and one reasons we can feel alone as moms. But we don’t have to. 

When I first started thinking about trying to make friends with other moms I was a bit scared. To be honest, the narrative that has been told over and over again lately is that there is this little thing called Mommy Wars going on, and that moms are super mean to each other and not very inclusive. 

In reality? It’s not like that at all. (at least outside of the more toxic Facebook groups…)

Every single time I’ve met another mom in real life she has been super sweet, helpful, and no matter our differences, we had something to bond over. Ya know, that whole being in the trenches together thing really helps you connect. 

So check out local mom groups on Facebook or MeetUp. There are also new apps coming out all the time to help you connect, and like the above tip, Hike It Baby is awesome! You can also just start doing little things like talk to your neighbors or the mom you always see in Target the same day you tend to go. 

It might take a littel vulnerability to get started, but the payoff is so worth it!

 

3. Ask for Experiences and Membership 

Instead of physical gifts, like toys, we asked our family and friends to give our children experiential gifts if they wanted to give them birthday or Christmas gifts. We’ve become pretty committed to keeping our house un-cluttered to the best of our ability, given the fact that we have three kids.

Also, since none of our kids are in preschool, we want to get them out of the house and into the world as much as possible. An awesome side benefit of getting of the house is it’s super helpful for mama’s mental health too!

(You can only hear the hot dog song from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse so many times before your eyes start to twitch and you turn into Mad Queen Mommy.)

We ended up receiving a membership to a museum and zoo for the kids thanks to one of their grandmothers! So rarely does a week go by that we don’t make it out to one of them. 

Protip: pack lots of snacks and drinks. Food and beverages get super pricey at these places. I have a rule that the kids need to eat all the snacks we bring before they get any of the treats they have there, and sometimes they just don’t get any because we already blew the budget on other things that week.

 

4. Have a Self-Care Practice (and take time to do it) 

I’ll spare you all the lectures about how you need to practice self-care. We all know we should. And there are a lot of reasons (excuses) we have for ignoring our own needs. But ESPECIALLY when you are a stay at home mom, you MUST make sure you take care of yourself. Moms who work outside the home might have it rough too, but they def get alone time if only on their commute.

The thing that I have learned about practicing self-care is that it isn’t just about pampering yourself. 

Instead, self-care has to be viewed (for me) as more of a discipline. I have to basically learn to be my own mom and hold myself accountable. The same way as a mom you make sure your kids brush their teeth, you need to have a list of must-do things for yourself and hold yourself accountable just like you do for them.

This could mean actually spending the money on new yoga pants instead of dealing with the ones that have 3 holes in them. Or maybe you actually take that 5 minutes a day to check in with yourself and journal or meditate even when you’re exhausted because you know longterm it is best for your mental health.

It’s tough work, this whole self-care thing sometimes. Many times it’s easier to just ignore our needs because we are just so damn tired. But they are NECESSARY mama.

 

5. Take Your Mental Health Seriously (and ask for help)

This goes beyond your standard self-care practices. This is about knowing when you’ve reached your limits and you need help. 

Help could mean getting your mom or bff to come over for a day while you sleep, or it could be more serious and mean you need professional help. (If you think you might have depression, you can take this quiz from Better Help to get started with an initial assessment.)

 It’s only now that my twins are 18 months old, and my daughter is 4 that I can look back on the last 4-5 years and realize that I have been depressed for a lot of it. It was only about a year ago that I started going to therapy. It made a huge difference! 

So even if you don’t feel like you are in state of crisis, but you just know that something isn’t quite right. You just aren’t as happy as you think you should be. See someone. You can contact your midwife/doctor even to get recommendations. 

I also highly recommend Better Help, which is online therapy with real licensed professionals. It’s awesome for moms because you can get your sessions in while the kids are napping (and you can even have texting sessions if that works better for you).

You can click here to be matched with a therapist who works best for you.

 

So let’s recap quickly on how to enjoy being a stay-at-home mom.

  • Get out of the house!
  • Make friends
  • Get out of the house some more, plus exercise.
  • Make self-care non-negotiable
  • Seek help if you are struggling.

You go this mama! The stay-at-home momlife is NOT easy, but it is the most rewarding job out there. Let’s enjoy being a stay-at-home mom as much as we can. 

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1.The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. –Honore de Balzac

2. One of the greatest titles in the world is parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have parents to call mom and dad. -Jim DeMint

3. Every day women are called upon to selflessly meet the needs of their families. Whether they are awake at night nursing a baby, spending their time and money on less-than-grateful teenagers, or preparing meals, moms continuously put others before themselves. -Charles Stanley

4. When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. -Sophia Loren

5. Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing. -Ricki Lake

6. Having children is my greatest achievement. It was my savior. It switched my focus from the outside to the inside. My children are gifts, they remind me of what’s important. -Elle Macpherson

7. What greater aspiration and challenge are there for a mother than the hope of raising a great son or daughter? -Rose Kennedy

8. I love cleaning up messes I didn’t make. So I became a Mom. -All moms ever

9. There is no perfect way to be a mother and a million ways to be a good one. -Jill Churchill

10. Giving grace to yourself is never more important than when you become a mother. -Whitney Meade

11. Mothers never retire, no matter how old her children are she is always a Mom, always willing to encourage and help her children in any way she can! -Catherine Pulsifer

12. Motherhood is more awesome than I ever thought it could be and harder than I ever would have imagined. -Sarah Williams

13. I believe the choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is. -Oprah Winfrey

14. I want them to see a mother who loves them dearly, who invests in them, but who also invests in herself. It’s just as much about letting them know as young women that it is okay to put yourself a little higher on your priority list. -Michelle Obama

15. The strongest lesson I can teach my son is the same lesson I teach my daughter: how to be who he wishes to be for himself…rather than… what the world wants him to be. -Audre Lourde

16. You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘This is impossible — oh, this is impossible.’ And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible. -Tina Fey

17. Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. -Oprah Winfrey

18. It’s about leaving something better for our kids. That’s how we’ve always moved this country forward, by all of us coming together on behalf of our children, folks who volunteer to coach that team, to teach that Sunday school class, because they know it takes a village. -Michelle Obama

19. Right now, after giving birth, I really understand the power of my body… I just feel my body means something completely different. I feel a lot more confident about it. Even being heavier, thinner, whatever. I feel a lot more like a woman. More feminine, more sensual. And no shame. -Beyoncé

20. There is an unspoken pact that women are supposed to follow. I am supposed to act like I constantly feel guilty about being away from my kids. (I don’t. I love my job.) Mothers who stay at home are supposed to pretend they are bored and wish they were doing more corporate things. (They don’t. They love their job.) -Amy Poehler

21. Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials. -Meryl Streep

22. The best place to cry is in a mother’s arms. -Jodi Picoult

23. All those clichés—those things you hear about having a baby and motherhood—all of them are true. And all of them are the most beautiful things you will ever experience. -Penelope Cruz

24. Motherhood has taught me the meaning of living in the moment and being at peace. Children don’t think about yesterday, and they don’t think about tomorrow. They just exist in the moment. -Jessalyn Gilsig

25. As it stands, motherhood is a sort of wilderness through which each woman hacks her way, part martyr, part pioneer; a turn of events from which some women derive feelings of heroism, while others experience a sense of exile from the world they knew. -Rachel Cusk

Check out the rest of the blog below for more inspirational content for moms. We hope you loved these inspirational mom quotes. Which inspirational mom quote is your favorite? Share with us on Facebook or Instagram.

How to Put Yourself First When You’re a Mom

How to Put Yourself First When You’re a Mom

Moms do it all. Supermoms. Take care of everyone and all their needs. There's just one thing moms aren't so great at it... it's learning how to put yourself first when you're a mom. How often do you pine for some alone time, but then it never quite pans out how you...

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Self-Care for Moms: Finding a Practice that Works for You (Episode 12 MomUp Show with Tiffany Lanier)

Self-Care for Moms: Finding a Practice that Works for You (Episode 12 MomUp Show with Tiffany Lanier)

How often do you think about needing to create a self-care practice, but it just kind of falls by the wayside? Tiffany Lanier was forced to during pregnancy complications, and she shares with us what she learned. Self-care for moms is necessary, and it’s time we took it from the bottom to the top of our to-do lists.

During an anatomy scan, Tiffany Lanier found out she had a partial placenta abruption in the middle of pregnancy, a fibroid under the placenta, and a shrinking cervix. She had the bad luck of just getting all these unrelated complications at the same time and in a waiting game.

The high risk doctor told her she probably would not carry the baby to full term, and that she ran the risk of losing her own life in the process too. (She amazingly has a healthy girl now.)

We talk about how she found her self-care practice through that traumatic pregnancy, and then getting through postpartum depression after the birth of her daughter.

1. Focus on what you can do right now to shift your energy

2. Examine what your days look like and make adjustment

3.Create a practice (what activities make you feel good)

…and just start, and keep moving forward.

Tiffany is a leading millennial voice in personal growth, meaningful work, and #TheFutureofLeadership. She is an entrepreneur, a renowned Inspirational Speaker and the Founder of LPLC 360 Co., a consciously-driven personal and leadership development company.

Although her journey for empowering change in others started in college, after surviving a complicated pregnancy and suffering postpartum depression (all while growing her business), Tiffany hit a proverbial rock bottom. Faced with back-to-back physical, emotional and financial setbacks, Tiffany had an epiphany and realized in order to be a great mother, partner, entrepreneur, leader, and human it was time to own her shift. Her intention to rediscover who she was, her purpose, and embrace her next chapter led to personal and professional breakthroughs that have catapulted her life and career. Tiffany is now dedicated to helping others create conscious shifts in every aspect of their lives.

Today, Tiffany is fueled by the motto: Live Purposefully and Lead Consciously. Whether she is speaking to college students, entrepreneurs, creatives, community leaders or executives, Tiffany challenges her audience to re-discover who they are, what they stand for, and what matters. Known as the “Queen of Clarity” her self-reflective approach helps her audience and clients overcome the obstacles holding them back from showing up more powerfully (and consciously) in the way they live, lead, and work.

Tiffany’s eclectic background in personal growth, business development, digital marketing, new media, and social change advocacy has made her a sought-after public speaker, trainer, and facilitator. She’s presented for top businesses, brands, universities and organizations including Capital One, United Way, DeVry, and TEDx.

 
*Learn more about Tiffany at: www.LivewithTiffany.com
 
*“The Weekly Shift,” A dose of Inspiration & thoughtful insight to fuel the way you Live, Lead, and Work.
https://tiffanylanier.lpages.co/join-the-community/
 
*And find her at the handle @LivewithTiffany on IG, Twitter, and YouTube.
 
Find us on:
 
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Today, Mother’s Day is a day of brunching, flowers, cards, and if we are lucky, a alone time. Or perhaps the saintly among us just get to hang out and relax with our children because we prefer that to gifts and parties. But do we ever stop and wonder, why do we celebrate Mother’s Day?

I have spent 5 years (including during my pregnancy) celebrating Mother’s Day as a mother. While I am all about mothers being celebrated, praised, adored, put on pedstals, cheered and basically worshipped for the goddesses we are, I am just not feeling that lovin’ feelin’ for Mother’s Day this year.

If I’m being honest, I am just feeling a little bored this year. Just kind of over it all together…

So how did this whole tradition begin anyway, why do we celebrate Mother’s Day?

According history.com, Anna Jarvis created the American version of the holiday in 1908. She was sponsored by John Wannamaker, the owner of a departement store in Philadelphia. The initial intention was to honor her mother. But like so many things in modern (or semi-modern life) it became commercialized.

Once it became a commercialized affair, Jarvis railed against it, and even pushed to have the holiday abolished. But by then it was too late. Mother’s Day had become far too entrenched for a cancelation.

In 1914 it became an official holiday in the United States.

The commercialization of Mother’s Day has only increased as time has gone by, and the reason we celebrate gotten a little lost. 

Over the last 100 years we’ve expanded this holiday to include the need to buy, buy, buy for moms. Though this is of course the trend for all holidays. Businesses want to cash in on any chance possible, even holidays as obscure as National Unicorn Day, let alone something more mainstream like Mother’s Day.

The last few years, commercial spending on Mother’s Day was over $20 billion. That’s BILLION.

On one hand, of course we as mothers deserve to be showered with gifts! We work our asses off all year long, and pour ourselves into raising tiny humans. We deserve all the presents. 

But…….

I’m going to be really thinking hard about why we celebrate Mother’s Day. Is this a tradition I want to continue, and if so, how? 

My husband and I have already decided we are no longer buying greeting cards. We recently went to a party for his niece, and instead of spending $5 on a cute little card that she would just throw away before the end of the day, he just stuffed a $20 bill in a regular business envelope and wrote on the outside of it. 

We all (or most of us) complain about the way holidays are commercialized, and at a time when Marie Kondo and minimalism are the hottest topics, maybe this is a simple place we can begin.

The temptation to conform to the expectations that special seasonal card section at Target places on us as we drive our little shopping cart full of kids and (mostly) essentials by is serious. But just maybe we can figure out another way to show our loved ones we love them on not just this, but all holidays.

How special is a card that millions of others moms are getting anyway?

 

And… does having this one day actually make our self-care and the credit we deserve a little flimsy and also less than we deserve?

When I was in school, I was never one of those students who judiciously studies throughout the course of the semester. No… I was a wait til the night before the finals and then cram until my brain exploded kinds of people.

Does Mother’s Day create a similar effect now?

Instead of having a reasonable level of self-care throughout the year, do we save it up for Mother’s Day as our one day we get to chill out? Or does our family save up their gratitude throughout the year and then just heap it onto us during one single day? Do you try to make up for all those times you meant to call your mom by being sure to call her on Mother’s Day?

Is this holiday a true celebration, or has it become more of an apology for the way we treat mothers the other 364 days of the year?

I’m going to say… yes.

I don’t care about Mother’s Day anymore.

Instead, I would love to have my well-being be a priority every damn day.

But if we decide we don’t want all the commercial BS, then what? How can we celebrate Mother’s Day?

Do we just give up on Mother’s Day? Our ONE freaking day to just get our due? To finally be recognized for all the work we do?

Not necessarily. There are other options.

Did you know the writer of the Battle Hymn of the Republic was a woman? A mother? 🤰🏻 Her name was Julia Ward Howe.

She actually called on mothers to come together and use our power to promote peace. 

This is something I’ve pondered for a long time. We as mothers have so much power because we are the ones who raise the next generations. Men are more and more involved throughout our children’s lives vs. previous generations, but mothers still hold the #1 spot in influence over a child’s early development.

We have so much power to not only influence our own children, but also the world with this responsibility and power.

Let’s take back Mother’s Day as more than just a time that we get cards and flowers and mani/pedi’s.

Here is the Mother’s Day Proclamation from Julia Ward Howe written not long after the Civil War: (I don’t particularly consider myself “Christian,” and choose to read that aspect as a call to action for morality vs. a particular religion)

 

“Again, in the sight of the Christian world, have the skill and power of two great nations exhausted themselves in mutual murder. Again have the sacred questions of international justice been committed to the fatal mediation of military weapons. In this day of progress, in this century of light, the ambition of rulers has been allowed to barter the dear interests of domestic life for the bloody exchanges of the battle field. Thus men have done. Thus men will do. But women need no longer be made a party to proceedings which fill the globe with grief and horror. Despite the assumptions of physical force, the mother has a sacred and commanding word to say to the sons who owe their life to her suffering. That word should now be heard, and answered to as never before.

Arise, then, Christian women of this day ! Arise, all women who have hearts, Whether your baptism be that of water or of tears ! Say firmly : We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We, women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country, to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says: Disarm, disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice. Blood does not wipe out dishonor, nor violence vindicate possession. As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of council.

Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead. Let them then solemnly take council with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, man as the brother of man, each bearing after his own kind the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women, without limit of nationality, may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient, and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.”

Julia Ward Howe

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The Joy of Motherhood and Sacrifice of Motherhood

The Joy of Motherhood and Sacrifice of Motherhood

Motherhood is something that is inexplicable and the joy of motherhood even more so. Forget the stretch marks. The girl’s nights out you plan but never actually do. The way you pee your pants a little with even the slightest sneeze. Forget the sleepless nights. The...

Supplies for Pumping at Work: What You *really* Need

Supplies for Pumping at Work: What You *really* Need

Going back to work after maternity leave can be so hard, but having the right supplies for pumping at work can help smooth out the process a little. Prepping with the best supplies for pumping at work before getting back into the swing of things in the working work...

10 Must-Read Mom Blogs with Tips for New Moms

10 Must-Read Mom Blogs with Tips for New Moms

If you're feeling overwhelmed by all those tips for new moms on all the mom blogs, this is for you. Here are 10 awesome blog posts from mom blogs I found to help you get started on your journey to becoming a new mama, with the best tips for new moms. Learn the old...

I’m Tired of Being a Stressed Out Mom

I’m Tired of Being a Stressed Out Mom

I never expected to fulfill the stressed out mom stereotype. The picture in my mind was of an earth goddess mama who was super zen and could calm any nerves with a whiff of some essential oils... but I was so wrong. I'm the stressed out mom even though my life is...

Peek Inside Our Montessori Style Playroom

Peek Inside Our Montessori Style Playroom

Keeping three kids entertained all day is rough, but since moving towards a Montessori style playroom, it is much simpler. Montessori style education was created by Maria Montessori in the early 1900's, and is still super popular today. I am by no means an expert in...

Tired of Tampons? Time to Use a Menstrual Cup

Tired of Tampons? Time to Use a Menstrual Cup

On the fence about whether you're ready to use a menstrual cup? Here's why I made the switch and never looked back! It can be a bit intimidating when you start thinking about if you want to use a menstrual cup, but once you get into it, it turns out to be so simple...

Minimalism with Kids: Small Changes for a Big Impact

Minimalism with Kids: Small Changes for a Big Impact

If you're drowning in clutter and ready to make a change towards minimalism with kids, this one is for you. Minimalism with kids IS possible, and with a few small tweaks, you can get started on the path. What is minimalism? It's doing with less so you can live a...

Sex After Kids: Tips to Get Your Freak on More

Sex After Kids: Tips to Get Your Freak on More

Having sex after kids can be a little tricky, and many people find that they are just not getting it in like they used to. Healing postpartum, busy schedules, the sheer exhaustion of having kids, and more can all lead to parents having just about zero sex after kids....

I’m That Mom Who Doesn’t Know How to Be Alone

I’m That Mom Who Doesn’t Know How to Be Alone

I used to laugh at those moms who said they wouldn't know what to do with alone time if they got... and now I'm one of them. After years of being waist-deep in diapers and breastmilk, my cousin and I decided to implement a quarterly moms' night away. So this morning I...

How to Survive Disney World with Toddlers

How to Survive Disney World with Toddlers

Some people might think I'm a few bricks short of a load for deciding to go to Disney World with Toddlers. That's toddlers plural, not a single toddler, but somehow I made the trek with my twin toddlers and preschooler, and we survived! (and loved it) Before I just...

Mom Shaming Sucks. Let’s Choose Mom Love Instead.

Mom Shaming Sucks. Let’s Choose Mom Love Instead.

As much as mom shaming is going on between moms, maybe it's mostly going on internally... What if we chose mom love for ourselves in the form of self-love, and then extended that to all mothers instead of mom shaming? A few days after I gave birth to my twins,...

My Twin Birth Story (Hospital Induction, No Epidural)

My Twin Birth Story (Hospital Induction, No Epidural)

My twin boys just turned 2 today, and it felt like the right time to share my twin birth story. This is the twin birth story of Sebastian Charles and Maximus James. When I found out I was pregnant in Early 2017, I was so excited to plan a totally natural water birth....

10 Time-Saving Productivity Tools for Moms

10 Time-Saving Productivity Tools for Moms

Are you a mama in need of some productivity tools so you can do #allthethings? These are my 10 favorites. One of the biggest challenges for moms is time. We don't have enough of it! So I've compiled my favorite time-saving products, and productivity tools for busy...

4 Month Sleep Regression: Baby Becomes a Demon

4 Month Sleep Regression: Baby Becomes a Demon

The 4 month sleep regression is one of the most dreaded phases of parenting. You've finally gotten the hang of this parenting thing, you think it's all smooth sailing, and then the 4 month sleep regression steps in to knock you off your parenting pedestal. It's...

Being Fat and Loving it Instead of Judging Myself

Being Fat and Loving it Instead of Judging Myself

I decided it's time to embrace being fat. I’ve tried accepting my new mombod. I’ve tried changing it. I’ve tried to love it for giving me babies and nourishing them. But what if I try something new and lean into being fat? What if instead of loving myself and my body...

Why is How Often Moms Shower a Hot Topic?

Why is How Often Moms Shower a Hot Topic?

I shared a heartfelt post on Facebook about the sacrifices and joys of being a mom, but what caught a lot of attention was a debate on how often moms shower. We joke about it, but it's usually true that moms shower less than non-moms, especially during those early...

Fourth Trimester: How One Mom Helps New Moms Thrive Postpartum

Fourth Trimester: How One Mom Helps New Moms Thrive Postpartum

There are so many ways in which modern society does not fully support new moms, especially during postpartum. So one mom decided to do something about it. When Lisa Chin began her journey of entrepreneurship, she thought about what she would pursue even if she didn't...

How to Make a Baby: Get Pregnant Faster

How to Make a Baby: Get Pregnant Faster

There's more to how to make a baby than the good old birds and bees talk you got as an adolescent. Many adults have knowledge gaps when it comes to trying to conceive, so let's fill them in so you can get pregnant faster. Have you been doing it like rabbits for months...

Things to Do With Toddlers to Beat Boredom

Things to Do With Toddlers to Beat Boredom

Running out of ideas of things to do with toddlers? Sometimes we get into a slump as kids grow and need to come up with new activities for toddlers as they grow. These toddler and mom-approved things to do with toddlers at home will stimulate their developing bodies...

Must-Try Foods for Picky Toddlers They’ll Actually Eat

Must-Try Foods for Picky Toddlers They’ll Actually Eat

If you're trying to get your little one to be more adventurous with their eating, these foods for picky toddlers are a great place to start! We all know what it's like to slave over a delicious and nutritious meal only for our little ones to push it away and stick...

Creating a Baby Registry on Amazon

Creating a Baby Registry on Amazon

The best thing new parents can do when shopping for their bundle of joy is creating a baby registry on Amazon. In this post we will talk about all the pro's and con's of creating a baby registry on Amazon and how to do it. But first, let's talk about what a baby...

Gratitude is the Attitude Moms Need + How to Get it

Gratitude is the Attitude Moms Need + How to Get it

Gratitude is the attitude many of us WANT to cultivate as a mom, but we have so much on our minds, and sometimes remembering how much we have to appreciate and be grateful for gets put on the backburner. While gratitude is the attitude we know we *should* be focusing...

What is Self-Care for Moms, and Why is it Important?

What is Self-Care for Moms, and Why is it Important?

Self-care for moms is more important than for most other people on the planet. Being a mom is like having 2.5 jobs, and a lot of us have jobs on top of that! When will we take self-care for moms seriously? There are countless memes about how moms are exhausted and...

Is Mom Guilt a Good Thing?

Is Mom Guilt a Good Thing?

We've all felt the mom guilt, haven't we? The mom guilt and the mom-shaming seems to be at epic levels, but have we ever stopped to consider if there might be some good to be found inside the messy mom guilt? The other day I posted on my personal Facebook profile...

Learn from a Child to Be a Better Parent

Learn from a Child to Be a Better Parent

We exepect our children to learn from us, but there is so much we can  learn from a child. Fyodor Dostoyevsky said, "The soul is healed by being with children," and nothing could be more true, even if having children is also one of the hardest things you can do it's...

Teaching Kids to Share is Hard, and I Don’t Force It

Teaching Kids to Share is Hard, and I Don’t Force It

Before having kids I thought I totally knew what teaching kids to share was all about, but now that I'm a parent it is a whole lot harder than I anticipated. Sometimes doing what's best doesn't fit into societal expectations, and that's what makes teaching kids to...

Vacationing with Kids: Is it Even Worth It?

Vacationing with Kids: Is it Even Worth It?

After spending 10 days driving from Pennsylvania to Orlando, FL for our very first Disney vacation as a family, I am starting to wonder, is vacationing with kids even worth it? It was just a few days after we got back from a recent trip to Disney World when I was...

30 Best Wooden Toys for Kids and Babies on Amazon

30 Best Wooden Toys for Kids and Babies on Amazon

If your kids (or you) are feeling a bit of sensory overload with all the colorful, plastic, and noisy toys, these 30 best wooden toys for kids and babies will simplify the playroom. Wooden toys for kids made out of natural woods bring a sense of peace and calm to play...

I Stopped Trying to Be a Perfect Mom to Be a Happy Mom

I Stopped Trying to Be a Perfect Mom to Be a Happy Mom

Raise your hand if you have ever felt like crap about yourself for not being perfect. 🙋🏻‍♀️ Me too. In fact, I've spent most of my life in a constant state of fear that everyone will find out that I am (GASP!) not perfect. On the surface, this sounds ridiculous. I...

Best Diaper Bag for Twins from Real Twin Parents

Best Diaper Bag for Twins from Real Twin Parents

We were on the hunt for the best diaper bag for twins. Our trusty old diaper bag has finally called it quits after five years of service, and it's now time to shop for a new one for the twins (plus an almost 5-year-old). My husband and I have scoured the webs for the...

Self-Care Ideas for Moms (From a Dad and Teacher)

Self-Care Ideas for Moms (From a Dad and Teacher)

These self-care ideas for moms are must-know if you are one of those people who craves alone time and doesn't know what to do with it when you get it! Ironically, it's a dad who is going to share some of these essential self-care strategies with us today. Taking care...

Single Mommin’ It and Providing for Your Family

Single Mommin’ It and Providing for Your Family

The hilarious and super smart Liz Meli-Wischman (now Marciniak) joins the MomUp Show this week to share how she has reached one of the highest levels of Younique through integrity, authenticity, and humor. 

Mamas in MLM’s or direct sales, listen up for this one! Liz shares how she is crushing it without being a creepy spammer.

PLUS – we talk all about momlife (of course!)

 

Liz Marciniak is a single mama to four wild children and an Exclusive Purple Status leader with Younique. She’s from Buffalo, NY, and if you need her you can probably find her on the Internet making videos about not being able to pee alone.

For makeup and skincare inquiries go to MyLipGlossIsPoppin.com.

To watch stupid videos and laugh at the disgusting mess motherhood is, check out Mom So Hard With Liz MW on Facebook!

How to Put Yourself First When You’re a Mom

How to Put Yourself First When You’re a Mom

Moms do it all. Supermoms. Take care of everyone and all their needs. There's just one thing moms aren't so great at it... it's learning how to put yourself first when you're a mom. How often do you pine for some alone time, but then it never quite pans out how you...

3 Simple Ways to Be a Mindful Mom

3 Simple Ways to Be a Mindful Mom

It is so easy to get overwhelmed and stressed out as a mom, am I right? The easiest way to combat it is to become more present and a more mindful mom to ditch the stress and chill the F out. What does it even mean to be a mindful mom? Glad you asked. Let's talk about...

6 Types of Self Care Moms Need to Know About

6 Types of Self Care Moms Need to Know About

Did you know there are different types of self care? Yeah... me neither. But identifying them is actually REALLY important to understand how to take care of your whole being. There are 6 types of self-care, in general. Some will claim 5, and some 7, but for me, this...

Is it Safe to Drink Alcohol While Breastfeeding?

Is it Safe to Drink Alcohol While Breastfeeding?

Been counting down the days the end of pregnancy to finally pop a bottle of your fav rosé and celebrate? But you might be wondering, is it safe to drink alcohol while breastfeeding, we have your answer. There's a lot of misinformation about consuming alcohol while...

3 Keys to Create a Daily Routine with Kids for Less Stress

3 Keys to Create a Daily Routine with Kids for Less Stress

I used to fly by the seat of my pants. No schedule, no rhythm, no routine. But when I switched to a consistent daily routine with kids, my life got so much easier. Any seasoned mom will tell you a daily routine with kids is really important. I had a somewhat loose...

What Are STEM toys? The Coolest Gifts for Kids.

What Are STEM toys? The Coolest Gifts for Kids.

Looking for the coolest gifts for kids that are also educational? I have the answer. Let's talk about what are STEM toys and why they rock! First, let's get a handle on what are stem toys exactly, and then we will talk about some awesome examples of STEM toys for...

Should Moms Stop Complaining About SAHM Life?

Should Moms Stop Complaining About SAHM Life?

Gratitude in and for this SAHM life (stay-at-home-mom life), has been on my mind for a while as I navigate my own ship through motherhood, but today I came across something that put it on full blast. Today I was nursing a toddler back to sleep and naturally googling...

15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

Trying to find the perfect first time mom Christmas gifts? This list has you covered! These mom-approved gifts are all available on Amazon, affordable, and would be so welcomed by any mama as the first time mom Christmas gifts. As I sat down to curate this list I...

I Love My Boring MomLife

I Love My Boring MomLife

It's taken me years to truly embrace it, but the older I get the more I settle into motherhood and absolutely love my boring momlife. Today was one of those days when nothing super notable happened, but it just highlights the realities of my life right now and why I...