Resolutions, words of the year, goals. There are so many things to think about when planning your next year, but what about a depth year? What’s a depth year anyway?
I’m a stay-at-home mom. I am not in some fancy career, but I still am always focused on personal development and goals for myself and my family. But lately, I’ve been wondering if I’m doing too much, and instead should tone it down with a depth year.
I’m sitting on a couch covered in crumbs and stains as I type this on my beat-up old iPhone with a dingy old cover.
When I imagined what my life would be like at 32 years old (about to be 33) this isn’t exactly what I imagined.
I thought I would have it all together. That my house would be sparkly clean because obviously I would have a fancy career that made buttloads of money so I could hire a cleaning lady to take care of my sticky toddler floors.
Then maybe I’d have a nanny, or an au pair from France, who would mind the children while I worked at my very important job.
(Insert massive eye roll here.)
That is NOT how life turned out, and shockingly, I am over the freaking moon that it didn’t.
Don’t get me wrong. My house is lovely, even if every surface has a fine film of yogurt fingerprints and goldfish dust. It’s big and in a nice development. We don’t have fancy quartz countertops or hardwood floors, but there’s plenty of space for three kids to roam.
It isn’t perfect though, and growing up I always had this idea of perfection in my mind that to tell you the truth, is pretty unattainable.
The thing that I’ve realized about life, and motherhood, is that every choice comes with a sacrifice.
Sometimes the sacrifice is a good one, it’s worth it. Sometimes it’s not.
But all choices have consequences, even if those consequences are the ones you want.
This is what I’ve had to come to terms with. That for right now, in order to have the things that are *most* important to me, I have to let go of some things that I want but are maybe number 7 on the list.
Am I the only one who had the world marketed to me my whole life as something that was mine for the taking?
Like I could be anything I wanted to be and have anything I wanted all at the same time?
Millennials (of which I am one) seem to have this reputation for being entitled or spoiled perhaps, but it’s only because our parents and previous generations convinced us that we could have it all if we just ya know… went to college and tried a little.
Turns out, that’s not the case.
And I feel like this is hitting us moms pretty hard. More so than ever we are expected to be all things to all people all the time, and look hot AF while doing it too. The expectations are bigger and bigger… more and more.
But I’ve declared this over in my mind.
Minimalism and de-cluttering have been having their 15 minutes of fame for quite a while now, and beyond the fact that so many of us are detoxing from all our stuff, I’ve also been focusing on a de-clutter and releasing in my mind.
There are two concepts that have been rolling around in my brain for a while now, minimalism and the depth year.
A depth year is when you take up nothing new. You don’t buy new things. You don’t start new hobbies. You don’t try to hone new skills.
Instead, you focus on using what you already have and going deeper with it. For example, I have been knitting off and on for years now, and have accumulated a big box of yarn that has yet to be put to use.
My tendency is to give up on it and look for a new obsession. On a depth year though, I would focus on the knitting and become more of a master at it.
There is a specific intention with a depth year of stripping away, letting go, releasing, and also focusing on the things that are already a part of your life.
It’s going back to basics, to the foundations. To the core.
So for 2020, I want to continue this process of learning more about myself, who I am, and building on the foundations I’ve been working on.
I’m reminded of a quote from Saint Augustine:
“Do you wish to be great? Then begin by being. Do you desire to construct a vast and lofty fabric? Think first about the foundations of humility. The higher your structure is to be, the deeper must be its foundation.”
It makes me think about those promises made to us as kids. Back when I believed I could be and do anything. Perhaps that IS still possible.
But instead of just launching into some plan given to me by the world, I need to first figure out MY foundation so I can build my own ideal life on top of that.
And that’s the purpose of a depth year and what a depth year is all about. What do you think? Is it something for you to try?
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