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How I’m Getting to Know Myself Again with a Depth Year

How I’m Getting to Know Myself Again with a Depth Year

Resolutions, words of the year, goals. There are so many things to think about when planning your next year, but what about a depth year? What’s a depth year anyway?

I’m a stay-at-home mom. I am not in some fancy career, but I still am always focused on personal development and goals for myself and my family. But lately, I’ve been wondering if I’m doing too much, and instead should tone it down with a depth year.

I’m sitting on a couch covered in crumbs and stains as I type this on my beat-up old iPhone with a dingy old cover.

When I imagined what my life would be like at 32 years old (about to be 33) this isn’t exactly what I imagined.

I thought I would have it all together. That my house would be sparkly clean because obviously I would have a fancy career that made buttloads of money so I could hire a cleaning lady to take care of my sticky toddler floors.

Then maybe I’d have a nanny, or an au pair from France, who would mind the children while I worked at my very important job.

(Insert massive eye roll here.)

That is NOT how life turned out, and shockingly, I am over the freaking moon that it didn’t.

Don’t get me wrong. My house is lovely, even if every surface has a fine film of yogurt fingerprints and goldfish dust. It’s big and in a nice development. We don’t have fancy quartz countertops or hardwood floors, but there’s plenty of space for three kids to roam.

It isn’t perfect though, and growing up I always had this idea of perfection in my mind that to tell you the truth, is pretty unattainable.

The thing that I’ve realized about life, and motherhood, is that every choice comes with a sacrifice.

Sometimes the sacrifice is a good one, it’s worth it. Sometimes it’s not.

But all choices have consequences, even if those consequences are the ones you want.

This is what I’ve had to come to terms with. That for right now, in order to have the things that are *most* important to me, I have to let go of some things that I want but are maybe number 7 on the list.

Am I the only one who had the world marketed to me my whole life as something that was mine for the taking?

Like I could be anything I wanted to be and have anything I wanted all at the same time?

Millennials (of which I am one) seem to have this reputation for being entitled or spoiled perhaps, but it’s only because our parents and previous generations convinced us that we could have it all if we just ya know… went to college and tried a little.

Turns out, that’s not the case.

And I feel like this is hitting us moms pretty hard. More so than ever we are expected to be all things to all people all the time, and look hot AF while doing it too. The expectations are bigger and bigger… more and more.

But I’ve declared this over in my mind.

Minimalism and de-cluttering have been having their 15 minutes of fame for quite a while now, and beyond the fact that so many of us are detoxing from all our stuff, I’ve also been focusing on a de-clutter and releasing in my mind.

There are two concepts that have been rolling around in my brain for a while now, minimalism and the depth year.

A depth year is when you take up nothing new. You don’t buy new things. You don’t start new hobbies. You don’t try to hone new skills.

Instead, you focus on using what you already have and going deeper with it. For example, I have been knitting off and on for years now, and have accumulated a big box of yarn that has yet to be put to use.

My tendency is to give up on it and look for a new obsession. On a depth year though, I would focus on the knitting and become more of a master at it.

There is a specific intention with a depth year of stripping away, letting go, releasing, and also focusing on the things that are already a part of your life.

It’s going back to basics, to the foundations. To the core.

So for 2020, I want to continue this process of learning more about myself, who I am, and building on the foundations I’ve been working on.

I’m reminded of a quote from Saint Augustine:

“Do you wish to be great? Then begin by being. Do you desire to construct a vast and lofty fabric? Think first about the foundations of humility. The higher your structure is to be, the deeper must be its foundation.”

It makes me think about those promises made to us as kids. Back when I believed I could be and do anything. Perhaps that IS still possible.

But instead of just launching into some plan given to me by the world, I need to first figure out MY foundation so I can build my own ideal life on top of that.

And that’s the purpose of a depth year and what a depth year is all about. What do you think? Is it something for you to try?

28 Best Mom Hacks that Real Moms Swear By

28 Best Mom Hacks that Real Moms Swear By

The BEST resource for learning how to totally rock momlife is the wisdom other moms learned in the school of hard knocks. So we are sharing 28 best mom hacks that real moms swear by and shared on our Facebook page. Honestly, some of the tips and incredible mom hacks...

Cluster Feeding Tips to Survive Your Newborn Feeding Every Hour

Cluster Feeding Tips to Survive Your Newborn Feeding Every Hour

Want more breastfeeding tips? Find us on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.facebookinstagrampinterest Got a stage 5 clinger who won't let go of your boob? Like your nipple feels like it's now permanently attached to your little squish? You've got a cluster feeder....

What Kind of Pregnancy Test Should I Buy?

What Kind of Pregnancy Test Should I Buy?

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Paced Feeding Your Breastfed Baby

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3 First Month Pregnancy Tips to Start Off on a Good Foot

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Our 10 Most Viewed Posts of 2019

Our 10 Most Viewed Posts of 2019

Another year over, and a new one about to begin. As I write this it is 8:21pm on December 31, 2019. We are about to start a new decade. Like so many others, we are taking a minute to look back first. These are our top 10 viewed posts of 2019 here at Mom Uprising. They...

Perfect IG Posts for Self-Care Inspiration

Perfect IG Posts for Self-Care Inspiration

Tired? Stressed? Ready to let it all go and start putting yourself first? Let's do it, mama. Get started with these 10 self-care inspiration posts we totally love. It's easy to get stuck in a rut, and sometimes just a simple image can break you out of your stickiness...

The Best Way to Breastfeed Twins

The Best Way to Breastfeed Twins

Expecting twins and want to tandem breastfeed? There are so many questions, right? Like what are the logistics? What is the best way to breastfeed twins? I got you. Keep reading to find out how I made it work. Breastfeeding one baby can be an awkward learning curve,...

6 Self-Care Blogs Moms Should Follow

6 Self-Care Blogs Moms Should Follow

In a bit of a self-care rut and need some inspo? These 6 self-care blogs will give you a little push to get yourself back into some super helpful self-care practices that work for you. I thought my self-care game was on point, but just perusing through these blogs I...

How to Achieve Goals Even if You’re Overwhelmed

How to Achieve Goals Even if You’re Overwhelmed

Crushing your goals and completing resolutions is hard. There’s a lot of reasons people fail all the time. But there are ways to set yourself up for success and learn how to achieve your goals even if you’re already overwhelmed.

I’m a mom of three kids five and under. Life is… hectic, challenging, chaotic. But I am also addicted to personal development, goal setting, and try to do and be more. So I’ve had to teach myself how to achieve goals in the midst of motherhood.

It ain’t easy, but it’s doable. These five tips will help you get there!

Choose goals YOU actually care about

I don’t know about you… but I get the comparisonitis.

You know, when you see a mom you think is basically perfection, living the dream on IG, and then you decide your whole life is shit and you suck because you’re not her?

We ALL do this to some extent, right?

It’s easy to fall into that trap unless you never use social media and live off the grid on a quaint little homestead and are yourself living some version of an idealized 1850’s life.

Alas, most of us have to interact with others and any time we see other people our brains tend to categorize and compare. It’s our nature.

Don’t berate yourself for this. But also do your best to catch yourself doing it, and do NOT set your goals from this space.

How often have you made a goal to lose weight, or read more, or run a 5k, not because it is actually important to you, but because of what other people might think?

You can cut down on a TON of overwhelm if you cut out the opinions of others or your perception of what others are thinking.

Bonus points if you cut out your own judgmental beliefs about what you “should” be. These beliefs are usually the voice of someone else in your head anyway, whether it’s your mother, father, siblings Aunt Sally, that kid who told you were fat in 8th grade, or the popular girls from High School.

Start small and make it a habit to achieve your goals

I am so guilty of making these grandiose plans that never seem to come to fruition.

You know like after eating fast food and not working out for months I think I’m going to suddenly start living off of kale and easily complete one of those Insanity workout video programs.

Yeah… it doesn’t usually work like that.

One of the reasons so many people fail at their goals and resolutions is because they overestimate what they can do.

I love this quote that is sometimes attributed to Bill Gates: “People tend to overestimate what can be done in one year and to underestimate what can be done in five or ten years.”

Over that last year or so I’ve been training myself to stop focusing on getting huge results or massive change, and instead, taking small steps every day.

So instead of joining a gym when you haven’t worked out in 10 years, try just going for a short walk every day. Start with something small and manageable that you can keep up for a few months or even a year.

This isn’t the sexy thing to do. The sexy thing is to create this mythology about yourself in your head where you’re going to have this Cinderella story of going from the bottom to the top in 60 seconds.

But that is the path of failure my friend.

Choose one small thing to change and do it every single day. Turn it into a habit. Then add, make it bigger, grow some more.

Involve your kids in your goals

I’m a stay-at-home mom who also runs this blog part-time. I don’t really have a ton of “me” time or alone time. I have to be crafty in how to achieve goals if I have any hopes of getting there.

So in order for me to start anything new, or accomplish anything I need to take them into account. It’s definitely not always feasible to get a babysitter or have my husband watch the kids.

Instead, I figure out how to squeeze in what I need to do while the kids are with me, or better yet involve them in the process.

Right now as I type this post my 5-year-old is creating a masterpiece with some crayons and paper while my twins have some yogurt.

I used to wait until my kids were in bed to write, but I like having that time for myself or with my husband (which are also very important goals of mine).

When it comes to health and exercise I like hiking and going for walks and the kids always come along. I either pile them into the stroller and we walk all over the neighborhood, or we go to a hiking group of other moms when we can.

Another option is the local YMCA. They have childcare hours, as do a lot of gyms. So if I ever need some time to work out or even sit alone and be in peace for a few minutes, that’s a great option that many moms have access too. They usually even have income-based programs you can apply for.

The point is that with some creativity, you can still accomplish what you want while you have your kids.

Share your goals and ask for support

According to recent studies, sharing your goals, especially with people who are successful themselves, will help you achieve your goals. In this article it says:

“’If you don’t care about the opinion of whom you tell, it doesn’t affect your desire to persist — which is really what goal commitment is all about,’ Howard Klein, lead author and professor of management and human resources at The Ohio State University’s Fisher College of Business, said in a press release. ‘You want to be dedicated and unwilling to give up on your goal, which is more likely when you share that goal with someone you look up to.’”

The key here is sharing it with someone whose opinion matters to you. Is it your mom? Your boss? Your partner? Your oldest friend? Your high school English teacher?

Share with someone you look up to in order to add an extra layer of accountability.

You also need to share your goals with people who play important roles in your life because you’ll need their support, like your partner. So if your goal is to run a 5k then you’ll need to have that on the calendar.

Just for basic logistics, you’ll need to get those closest to you on board for many goals out there.

Don’t give up

You’ll want to. There will come a day when you want to just quit, and maybe you even do just quit.

But having a bad day, week, month, or even year doesn’t have to mean your dreams are crushed.

The key isn’t in never failing, but in getting back on the horse when you do fail. Because you are a human, we all are. We all screw up, lose momentum, and fall short. That’s ok!

Learn whatever lessons you can from your failure and just keep on going.

Sometimes the overwhelm we feel is what we place on ourselves needlessly. Expecting perfection is too much pressure. All you can do is make the next best choice you can.

To quote Frozen 2, just do the next right thing, even when it’s all going wrong.

Being a mom means being overworked, stressed, overwhelmed. But the point of setting goals and going for them is to help us live a happier and more fulfilled life. It’s a bit of a paradox, but you CAN do it.

These tips will help you figure out how to achieve goals even if you’re a bit overwhelmed.

28 Best Mom Hacks that Real Moms Swear By

28 Best Mom Hacks that Real Moms Swear By

The BEST resource for learning how to totally rock momlife is the wisdom other moms learned in the school of hard knocks. So we are sharing 28 best mom hacks that real moms swear by and shared on our Facebook page. Honestly, some of the tips and incredible mom hacks...

Cluster Feeding Tips to Survive Your Newborn Feeding Every Hour

Cluster Feeding Tips to Survive Your Newborn Feeding Every Hour

Want more breastfeeding tips? Find us on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.facebookinstagrampinterest Got a stage 5 clinger who won't let go of your boob? Like your nipple feels like it's now permanently attached to your little squish? You've got a cluster feeder....

What Kind of Pregnancy Test Should I Buy?

What Kind of Pregnancy Test Should I Buy?

Think you're pregnant or trying to conceive? You're probably wondering what kind of pregnancy test should I buy? These 5 questions will help you choose which is best for you, and we'll give you our pick for the best one. So you can answer the question for yourself on...

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Paced Feeding Your Breastfed Baby

Want to give your breastfed baby a bottle, but worried about them starting to prefer the bottle over breast? Paced feeding is a great way to initiate bottle feeding, and I'll share how and why I chose paced feeding with my breastfed babies. I've breastfed for over 6...

3 First Month Pregnancy Tips to Start Off on a Good Foot

3 First Month Pregnancy Tips to Start Off on a Good Foot

Just found out your pregnant, or maybe wondering if you are? These first month pregnancy tips will help you get started. The first few weeks of pregnancy can be stressful and also blissful. These are three tips to help you get started at the very beginning, and I've...

Our 10 Most Viewed Posts of 2019

Our 10 Most Viewed Posts of 2019

Another year over, and a new one about to begin. As I write this it is 8:21pm on December 31, 2019. We are about to start a new decade. Like so many others, we are taking a minute to look back first. These are our top 10 viewed posts of 2019 here at Mom Uprising. They...

Perfect IG Posts for Self-Care Inspiration

Perfect IG Posts for Self-Care Inspiration

Tired? Stressed? Ready to let it all go and start putting yourself first? Let's do it, mama. Get started with these 10 self-care inspiration posts we totally love. It's easy to get stuck in a rut, and sometimes just a simple image can break you out of your stickiness...

The Best Way to Breastfeed Twins

The Best Way to Breastfeed Twins

Expecting twins and want to tandem breastfeed? There are so many questions, right? Like what are the logistics? What is the best way to breastfeed twins? I got you. Keep reading to find out how I made it work. Breastfeeding one baby can be an awkward learning curve,...

6 Self-Care Blogs Moms Should Follow

6 Self-Care Blogs Moms Should Follow

In a bit of a self-care rut and need some inspo? These 6 self-care blogs will give you a little push to get yourself back into some super helpful self-care practices that work for you. I thought my self-care game was on point, but just perusing through these blogs I...

100 Word of the Year Ideas to Live Your Best MomLife

100 Word of the Year Ideas to Live Your Best MomLife

2019 is winding down, and preparations for 2020 are already underway for many. Instead of a resolution, have you thought about trying one of these word fo the year ideas?

I love these 100 word of the year ideas you can use as a way to guide your intentions, goals, choices, and overall plans for 2020. Since I started creating a word of the year

What is a word of the year?

A word of the year is exactly as the name implies. It is a word you choose to be a theme for you for the year. This word will help guide you and your choices as you grow and develop throughout the year. The first step is coming up with word of the year ideas that work for you.

Why is choosing a word of the year a good idea?

For a lot of people, resolutions just don’t really work.

But there is something special about setting an intention for a year that helps you reach your goals. Choose a word from your word of the year ideas that encompasses what you are aiming for, or perhaps how you want to feel, is a great way to set the tone for the year without getting too specific.

How do you choose a word of the year?

You could simply pick a word out of a hat if you’d like to leave it up to fate, but getting in touch with where you’d like to be at the end of the year and then finding a word that would help move you in that direction might work better.

Journaling is a great way to get in touch with where you are and where you want to go in order to get some of the best word of the year ideas for yourself.

If just one word doesn’t work, you could also choose a phrase or even a short quote. But don’t get too detailed or long. The point is for this to be a theme, and the more you add the more complicated it will become.

Word of the Year Ideas

  1. Transformation
  2. Abundance
  3. Achieve
  4. Love
  5. Disciplined
  6. Steadfast
  7. Strong
  8. Surrender
  9. Faith
  10. Hope
  11. Growth
  12. Intentional
  13. Creative
  14. Empowered
  15. Magical
  16. Sparkle
  17. Shine
  18. Receive
  19. Spiritual
  20. Nurture
  21. Self-love
  22. Self-care
  23. Depth
  24. Energy
  25. Healing
  26. Uplevel
  27. Adventure
  28. Excitement
  29. Expansion
  30. Decadence
  31. Sexy
  32. Sensual
  33. Nature
  34. Travel
  35. Rebirth
  36. Luxury
  37. Friendship
  38. Marriage
  39. Partnership
  40. Relationships
  41. Motherhood
  42. Birth
  43. Acceptance
  44. Peace
  45. Calm
  46. Meditate
  47. Mindful
  48. Minimal
  49. Beauty
  50. Happy
  51. Connection
  52. Bliss
  53. Vivacious
  54. Gentle
  55. Enchanting
  56. Blessed
  57. Optimistic
  58. Laugh
  59. Joy
  60. Euphoric
  61. Jubilee
  62. Confidence
  63. Trust
  64. Bright
  65. Ease
  66. Simple
  67. Positive
  68. Determination
  69. Resilience
  70. Brave
  71. Courage
  72. Vulnerable
  73. Tenacious
  74. Bold
  75. Daring
  76. Fearless
  77. Audacious
  78. Grateful
  79. Spunky
  80. Delighted
  81. Pleasure
  82. Fruitful
  83. Jolly
  84. Charming
  85. Magnetic
  86. Bewitching
  87. Alluring
  88. Glamourous
  89. Grace
  90. Elegance
  91. Finesse
  92. Refined
  93. Stylish
  94. Balance
  95. Comfort
  96. Hygge
  97. Prosperity
  98. Entrepreneur
  99. Rest
  100. Quiet

Hopefully, these 100 word of the year ideas spark some inspiration for you, and if you’re looking for more word of the year ideas, check out this Pinterest Board we created.

28 Best Mom Hacks that Real Moms Swear By

28 Best Mom Hacks that Real Moms Swear By

The BEST resource for learning how to totally rock momlife is the wisdom other moms learned in the school of hard knocks. So we are sharing 28 best mom hacks that real moms swear by and shared on our Facebook page. Honestly, some of the tips and incredible mom hacks...

Cluster Feeding Tips to Survive Your Newborn Feeding Every Hour

Cluster Feeding Tips to Survive Your Newborn Feeding Every Hour

Want more breastfeeding tips? Find us on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.facebookinstagrampinterest Got a stage 5 clinger who won't let go of your boob? Like your nipple feels like it's now permanently attached to your little squish? You've got a cluster feeder....

What Kind of Pregnancy Test Should I Buy?

What Kind of Pregnancy Test Should I Buy?

Think you're pregnant or trying to conceive? You're probably wondering what kind of pregnancy test should I buy? These 5 questions will help you choose which is best for you, and we'll give you our pick for the best one. So you can answer the question for yourself on...

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Paced Feeding Your Breastfed Baby

Want to give your breastfed baby a bottle, but worried about them starting to prefer the bottle over breast? Paced feeding is a great way to initiate bottle feeding, and I'll share how and why I chose paced feeding with my breastfed babies. I've breastfed for over 6...

3 First Month Pregnancy Tips to Start Off on a Good Foot

3 First Month Pregnancy Tips to Start Off on a Good Foot

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Our 10 Most Viewed Posts of 2019

Our 10 Most Viewed Posts of 2019

Another year over, and a new one about to begin. As I write this it is 8:21pm on December 31, 2019. We are about to start a new decade. Like so many others, we are taking a minute to look back first. These are our top 10 viewed posts of 2019 here at Mom Uprising. They...

Perfect IG Posts for Self-Care Inspiration

Perfect IG Posts for Self-Care Inspiration

Tired? Stressed? Ready to let it all go and start putting yourself first? Let's do it, mama. Get started with these 10 self-care inspiration posts we totally love. It's easy to get stuck in a rut, and sometimes just a simple image can break you out of your stickiness...

The Best Way to Breastfeed Twins

The Best Way to Breastfeed Twins

Expecting twins and want to tandem breastfeed? There are so many questions, right? Like what are the logistics? What is the best way to breastfeed twins? I got you. Keep reading to find out how I made it work. Breastfeeding one baby can be an awkward learning curve,...

6 Self-Care Blogs Moms Should Follow

6 Self-Care Blogs Moms Should Follow

In a bit of a self-care rut and need some inspo? These 6 self-care blogs will give you a little push to get yourself back into some super helpful self-care practices that work for you. I thought my self-care game was on point, but just perusing through these blogs I...

15 Quotes for Following Your Dreams

15 Quotes for Following Your Dreams

Dreaming of accomplishing some big goals soon? These quotes for following your dreams will keep you going when you need some inspiration.

 

Need some inspirational quotes for following your dreams? When you are setting big goals for yourself, you’ll inevitably hit roadblocks.

These quotes for following your dreams will give you a little inspiration for when the going gets tough. Pull it together and get back out there mama. You got this!

A lot of these quotes actually talk about failure, stumbling blocks, being different, and embracing risk. 

What I have learned about following your dreams and reaching your goals is that you have to be willing to feel uncomfortable. It rarely happens how you imagine and usually comes with a bit of struggle. 

That’s ok. That’s how it is supposed to be. If following your dreams was easy, everyone would do it. It takes commitment, a willingness to get it wrong sometimes, and courage. 

But it IS possible to follow and reach your dreams and goals. 

Hopefully these quotes for following your dreams will help you get there.

(Quick heads up this post might contain affiliate links, meaning if you purchase anything I recommend, I get a small commission at no extra cost to you.)

1. “If you are always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be” -Maya Angelou

2. “Not till we are lost… do we begin to find ourselves again.” -Thoreau

3. “She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blog her away, she adjusted her sails.” -Elizabeth Edwards

4. “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”

5. “Stop waiting for Friday, for summer, for someone to fall in love with you, for life. Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make the most of the moment you are in now.”

6. “It never get easier, you just get better.”

7. “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.”

8. “Don’t be afraid to fail. Be afraid not to try.”

9. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”

10. “Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome.”

11. “As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.”

12. “If you don’t imagine, nothing ever happens at all.”

13. “Don’t wait for an opportunity. Create it.”

14. “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”

15. “You only fail when you stop trying.”

Which quote for following your dreams was your favorite? Share below in the comments!

28 Best Mom Hacks that Real Moms Swear By

28 Best Mom Hacks that Real Moms Swear By

The BEST resource for learning how to totally rock momlife is the wisdom other moms learned in the school of hard knocks. So we are sharing 28 best mom hacks that real moms swear by and shared on our Facebook page. Honestly, some of the tips and incredible mom hacks...

Cluster Feeding Tips to Survive Your Newborn Feeding Every Hour

Cluster Feeding Tips to Survive Your Newborn Feeding Every Hour

Want more breastfeeding tips? Find us on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.facebookinstagrampinterest Got a stage 5 clinger who won't let go of your boob? Like your nipple feels like it's now permanently attached to your little squish? You've got a cluster feeder....

What Kind of Pregnancy Test Should I Buy?

What Kind of Pregnancy Test Should I Buy?

Think you're pregnant or trying to conceive? You're probably wondering what kind of pregnancy test should I buy? These 5 questions will help you choose which is best for you, and we'll give you our pick for the best one. So you can answer the question for yourself on...

Paced Feeding Your Breastfed Baby

Paced Feeding Your Breastfed Baby

Want to give your breastfed baby a bottle, but worried about them starting to prefer the bottle over breast? Paced feeding is a great way to initiate bottle feeding, and I'll share how and why I chose paced feeding with my breastfed babies. I've breastfed for over 6...

3 First Month Pregnancy Tips to Start Off on a Good Foot

3 First Month Pregnancy Tips to Start Off on a Good Foot

Just found out your pregnant, or maybe wondering if you are? These first month pregnancy tips will help you get started. The first few weeks of pregnancy can be stressful and also blissful. These are three tips to help you get started at the very beginning, and I've...

Our 10 Most Viewed Posts of 2019

Our 10 Most Viewed Posts of 2019

Another year over, and a new one about to begin. As I write this it is 8:21pm on December 31, 2019. We are about to start a new decade. Like so many others, we are taking a minute to look back first. These are our top 10 viewed posts of 2019 here at Mom Uprising. They...

Perfect IG Posts for Self-Care Inspiration

Perfect IG Posts for Self-Care Inspiration

Tired? Stressed? Ready to let it all go and start putting yourself first? Let's do it, mama. Get started with these 10 self-care inspiration posts we totally love. It's easy to get stuck in a rut, and sometimes just a simple image can break you out of your stickiness...

The Best Way to Breastfeed Twins

The Best Way to Breastfeed Twins

Expecting twins and want to tandem breastfeed? There are so many questions, right? Like what are the logistics? What is the best way to breastfeed twins? I got you. Keep reading to find out how I made it work. Breastfeeding one baby can be an awkward learning curve,...

6 Self-Care Blogs Moms Should Follow

6 Self-Care Blogs Moms Should Follow

In a bit of a self-care rut and need some inspo? These 6 self-care blogs will give you a little push to get yourself back into some super helpful self-care practices that work for you. I thought my self-care game was on point, but just perusing through these blogs I...

7 Fitness Tips for Moms to Reach Your Fitness Goals

7 Fitness Tips for Moms to Reach Your Fitness Goals

Setting your sights on crushing some fitness goals? Let’s talk about 7 fitness tips for moms the help you reach those goals more easily.

 

I’ve been there. I’ve had goals that I surpassed and felt like a total badass for accomplishing. Then I’ve had ones that sank like the Titanic. Just call me Rose. But these fitness tips for moms are ones that are tried and true. They can really help set you up for success.

So let’s dive in mamas.

Though let me also say that it is totally ok for you to have exactly 0 fitness goals either. I’ve been going through a 5-year long journey to finally accept my mombod, and it hasn’t been easy.

It’s ok to not lose the baby weight and just be happy too. <3

Fitness Tips for Moms #1: Set Goals You Actually Care About

Before we even get into how to reach your fitness goals, let’s make sure you are actually setting them properly.

Why do you want to set fitness goals? What is the point? Is it because you feel like you “should?” Feeling pressure to get your pre-baby body back?

Let me be honest, mama.

You won’t get your pre-baby body back

Once you’ve had a kid, your body has changed forever. There is no going back. Even if you were able to work out, get plastic surgery, find some mythical cream that actually eliminates stretch marks, you’re still different on the inside.

That’s right. Even if you appear to have the same body you did pre-pregnancy (which is unlikely) your body has changed so significantly on the inside, it will never be exactly the same.

Hell, your sweet baby even left some of their DNA inside of you that can affect you for decades to come!

So perhaps, reframing this idea of getting your body “back” is in order.

There is nothing wrong with want to be fit, or wanting to look a certain way. It’s totally great if you want to change your appearance.

We all change our appearance in small or large ways by things like wearing makeup, straightening or curling our hair, or even getting plastic surgery. (I know a mom who had a tummy tuck because her diastasis recti bothered her not just in appearance, but physically too.)

But isn’t it time we change the way we think about our postpartum bodies. Is looking as if we never had a kid something all moms must aspire to? Isn’t just feeling good in our postpartum body enough?

Just something to think about.

I know I have fitness goals that even include losing weight, but I also know that even when I am at a weight that feels good for me, my body is forever changed.

(Read more about my postpartum body journey on Facebook at the post below, and follow me at facebook.com/momuprising)

 

What is your REAL motivation? How do you want to FEEL when you accomplish your goals?

Social media is a beautiful thing… but it can be so toxic too.

According to body-positive influencer and fitness instructor, Nikki Pebbles, “Things are so skewed to what we’re expecting when starting a fitness journey due to Instagram, Social media, magazines, all of that. So I think first comes first. Learning that your body isn’t going to be what it was 10 years ago, 4 years ago, or even 6 months ago. Your body is what it is now, and when we stop and think about fitness being more than just a physical goal and more of an ‘I want to FEEL good. I want FEEL different.'”

Nikki is so right. We get caught up on a mom who is 8 months pregnant and still has abs on Instagram (yeah that’s a real thing…), and we start to feel like crap that our belly is super flabby when we are 2 years postpartum. Until we saw that post, or whatever the post of the day is, we felt pretty great about ourselves. Now all of a sudden we need to lose weight and do 5 billion crunches before the end of the month.

Slow down.

Before setting any goals, feel into them. What is the real motivation behind them?

Fitness Tips for Moms #2: Start Small

I know our impulse is usually to totally overhaul our life ASAP, right?

You decide you want to lose that extra 10lbs you got from eating #allthethings around the holidays so you order that hardcore exercise program you saw on an infomercial while half-awake doing a night feel, right?

I’ve totally done that. Expecting myself to go from breastfeeding being my cardio to doing high-intensity workouts every day for like a year right away. I think because I was an athlete in high school that my almost 33-year-old self can still do some serious workouts, but the truth? I good walk around the neighborhood is about where I’m at right now.

It would serve me much better (and probably you too) to start with a small simple goal of just getting out for a walk with the kids every day.

Sunshine Boatright, creator of the Health and Vitality experience says, “Start from where you are, make that your baseline. Make small incremental changes from there. Because working your way up over time is way better than getting started, going all in, and hurting yourself so much that you can’t move and can’t face going back. It’s also, in my humble opinion, the best way to fall in love with the process instead of the destination. Because destinations can be deceiving.” 

Fitness Tips for Moms #3: Make it a routine

A great way to start small is by making fitness part of your daily routine.

I love talking about self-care and self-care routines, and I’ve made a point of having fitness be part of my morning self-care routine. But I started super small.

At the recommendation of yoga instructor and habit expert, Dana Skoglund, I’ve started doing the 7-minute workout in the mornings. The 7-minute workout is so awesome because you definitely feel like you got some exercise, but at less than 10 minutes long it isn’t overwhelming.

But it has been scientifically proven to be as good as longer workouts because of the way different exercises are strung together in an intense way.

Dana also has the great tip of getting in the habit of setting yourself up for success. For example, she says, “For people who have no time, put your running shoes at the foot of your bed and your workout clothes out the night before.”

Then when you wake up in the morning it will trigger you to get your work out.

Changing up habits and routine is hard! When you’ve been doing things the same way for months or years, switching things around doesn’t stick well.

So start small and gradually build to where you want to go, and also connect that new action to something else that basically triggers the new habit.

For example, I have been working on the habit of taking vitamins and drinking water first thing in the morning. I’m pretty rock-solid in it now, and I’m ready to expand. So now I am adding in the habit of doing the 7-minute workout after I take my vitamins.

Maybe the secret to reaching your fitness goal through habits is actually to just get in the habit of drinking a glass of water and taking vitamins every morning.

Fitness Tips for Moms #4: Find a friend

Accountability makes it more likely you’ll actually stick with your goals and reach them.

The trick though? You need to be held accountable by someone you respects and believe in to be successful.

So even though the obvious choice would be to find someone at the same level of fitness as you to hold you accountable, you’re better off finding someone who is at or close to the level you want to achieve.

Recent studies have shown this to be the case, so choose your accountability buddy wisely.

Fitness Tips for Moms #5: Find free childcare

Getting time to work out can be rough when you have kids. But did you know there are tons of places that offer free childcare for you while you workout?

All of the YMCA’s have childcare available for free with your membership, and even some regular gyms have it too.

If that’s not an option you can see if a mom friend would swap watching the kids so you can each work out or have alone time.

Also, my go-to is to just to involve my kids in my exercise. Think jogging with a stroller, walking, hiking, playing outside, etc.

Sometimes it takes creativity, but childcare really isn’t an issue if you are committed to your goals.

Fitness Tips for Moms #6: Track your progress

When I’m working on accomplishing goals and creating new habits, I’ve started to actually not even focus on completing the goal.

Instead, my focus is just on remembering to track whether I completed whatever task I needed to that day to reach my goal or establish the habit.

I am super forgetful. I will have this great plan or idea or goal, have all the best intentions in the world, but it just won’t happen. It’s not even because I chose to ignore it, but because I just forgot!

Now I have a little log in my journal that I mark every day on whether I completed my habit or not. Nothing fancy, just a list with the date and little checks or x’s next to them.

Fitness Tips for Moms #7: Focus on progress, not perfection

When I first started tracking my progress on my goals, I would stop even trying when I missed too many days.

I felt like if I started missing days, then I had to just give up and start all over again.

But that’s not how it works at all.

Doing my 7-minute workout, or yoga, or remembering to intermittent fasting… whatever the goal is… it’s better to have done it one day in a week than no days in a week.

It’s taken a lot of mindset work to get to this point, but now I am happy with ANY growth. ANY movement forward. ANY progress towards where I want to go, I count as a win!

 

Do you have fitness goals for 2020? Are these fitness tips for moms helpful? Let us know in the comments, and then check out this article about how to achieve your goals even if you’re overwhelmed.

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This last year I have been extra committed to making some improvements in my life. I didn’t feel like I was living life to the fullest, being the best mom possible, or accomplishing my goals as quickly as I’d like. I decided it was time for a revamp so I could start forming habits that worked for me.

It’s been a learning process, and not an easy one either. The breakthroughs that have come are the product of years of work on figuring out my blocks and releasing them so that I could get to a point of focusing on habits.

But if I would have had a better handle on the process of forming habits that are working for me right now, it wouldn’t have taken me nearly as long.

Before I dive in, I just want to explain briefly, why habits matter.

A habit is basically something you do on autopilot. You don’t really think about it anymore, you just do it.

Forming habits is incredibly effective for attaining your goals and getting some control over your life. The alternative is to be a slave to your unconscious or negative habits, and as someone who is an ex-smoker, that is NOT a fun way to live.

So let’s dive into 5 ways to start forming habits that work now.

1. Start small

In January 2019, I interviewed Dana Skoglund on the MomUp Show, and she coached me through the process of creating a new habit. (Listen in here)

The biggest takeaway I had from that was to start with something pretty small, and have a plan for HOW to make it happen. The plan I have created now is to get myself into routines that I’ve built on over time after starting with a very small step.

The small habit I have formed that has driven massive change is to simply drink an entire glass of water and take my vitamins every day first thing in the morning.

From getting into that one small habit, I have been able to create routines for my days, weeks, and months. Through creating those routines, I’ve started forming habits by doing the same things repeatedly every day to the point that I don’t have to think so hard about it.

But it all started with something small and doable. I rarely make big changes to my habits or routines, but rather focus on small changes that are compounded over time.

2. Track your progress

My mantra for creating habits and personal growth, in general, is to focus on progress over perfection.

For a long time, I didn’t keep track of the progress I had made in any formal way. I think because I wasn’t necessarily perfect at achieving all of my goals, I felt too ashamed to track whether I was hitting them or not.

But what I’ve found is that with the right mindset, tracking my progress on a daily basis is integral in forming habits.

The way I track my progress is simply by writing down a list of habits I want to work on at the beginning of each month and then noting whether I did them at the end of each day.

I really don’t even have the goal of completing each and every single new habit I’m working on. My goal is really just to TRACK whether I did it.

It’s a lot easier for my mind to accept the idea that I am just tracking whether I completed some tasks vs. the heaviness of feeling like I have to actually do the task.

It is a slight mindset shift from focusing on the work that intends to do to just committing to evaluating whether the work is done at the end of the day or not.

On the surface, this seems like it would not work at all, but it works like a charm for me. My biggest stumbling block to forming new habits is simple remember to do it

Tracking whether in do the tasks I need to do to create new habits alone is a reminder to do them.

3. Evaluate, but don’t judge yourself

Tracking your progress, or lack thereof is an opportunity for you to judge and shame yourself for not following through in forming habits.

But let’s avoid that by sticking with that mantra of progress over perfection.

Think about it this way, you wouldn’t shame or judge your child for imperfection when acquiring new skills, would you? (If you would, that’s another discussion…)

You would, however, keep tabs on how they were progressing and be there to support them in any way possible.

That’s how you need to approach yourself in the process of this forming habits. You will have to basically be your own parent, be your own mom.

Being your own mom means disciplining yourself, but not shaming yourself.

Remember, this evaluation is basically a form of self-love and self-care. Just like it isn’t loving to shame yourself, it also isn’t loving to let yourself off the hook without taking a look at why you aren’t meeting your goal of forming habits.

So look at what you were able to do and what you weren’t, and evaluate WHY.

Did you miss going to the gym every day because you were running too late every morning? Or was it because you didn’t have a single pair of clean yoga pants left?

The evaluation process isn’t just about tallying up your total number of days you completed your new habits you’re working on, but it’s also about evaluating what worked and what didn’t.

4. Make adjustments

Once you evaluate what happened, then you can make adjustments.

If things didn’t go so well then you can brainstorm ways to better support yourself. Perhaps laying out your clothes the night before will help you be on time to get to the gym. Or maybe you want to start taking vitamins, so setting them on next to your coffee the night before would be a reminder.

Figure out how you can be a better ally to yourself, and make those changes for forming habits.

5. Try again

Don’t give up.

Sometimes when we screw up or don’t succeed on the first attempt, we are tempted to throw in the towel. But being consistent isn’t just about never failing.

It’s also about just being consistent about showing up.

One thing I literally wrote in my gratitude journal this evening was that I am so proud of myself and grateful to my past selves for not giving up. Even when I kept failing at establishing new habits and achieve my goals, I didn’t give up.

If there is one thing I have always done when something is important to me is keep going. Keep trying.

It’s almost unheard of for someone to be successful at their first attempt at anything.

So just keep going. You got this!

Forming habits and achieving your goals long term isn’t always easy, but it IS doable! What do you think? Any tips for forming habits or crushing your goals? Share them in the comments below!

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