How to Feel Sexy Again After Having Babies

How to Feel Sexy Again After Having Babies

In a bit of a rut and wanting to figure out how to feel sexy again after having babies? Let’s talk about how to reconnect with your body and soul to feel sexy ASAP.

It’s totally normal to have a sex slump after kids. I mean, if you gave birth, there’s a period of time afterwards when it’s literally not safe or recommended to feel safe. Add in cluster feeding, a new body, exhaustion, overwhelm and more and it’s easy to understand why you have to relearn how to feel sexy.

These are the best ways that I’ve been able to bring my own sexy back postpartum, and they can help you learn how to be sexy again too.

 

Track your cycle

 

For most of my life, I was lucky if I jotted down in a notebook or calendar when I got my period. Each month was kind of a guessing game for me when my period would make its appearance.

It wasn’t until I starting trying to conceive that I first starting paying attention to what my body did every month.

As I started noting the different phases of my cycle each month, I was able to find a correlation between different phases of my cycle and how felt. Including when I felt extra sexy, and well… horny.

It’s no surprise that during ovulation is a time when many women will feel more inclined to get it on. I mean, it’s the one time of the month when our bodies are able to conceive. So it is basic math to put 2+2 together and realize the hormones happening in our body during ovulation encourage us to have sex.

But beyond ovulation, if you begin to track your cycle and how you are feeling at different phases, you’ll notice trends.

If you can figure out when you are usually feeling the sexiest, you can shoot for those times as date nights or late nights with your partner. How to feel sexy can be as simple as syncing up your clock.

 

Spend more time naked

 

Becoming a mom, birthing a child, means your body goes through a lot of huge changes. Even if you lose the baby weight or your postpartum belly, you probably aren’t looking or feeling exactly the same since acquiring a mombod.

Even the most confident women can feel a little shaky about getting naked and being intimate with someone at first after having a baby. You might find your postpartum body beautiful and sexy, but it might still take some time to just feel like it’s yours.

Change is hard sometimes, and when something as close to us as our body changes, it can derail our sexy vibes a bit.

So start finding ways to get more comfortable with your body, namely, be naked more.

How can you spend more time feeling what it feels like to be naked in this new mombod? Can you check yourself out in the mirror a little longer after a shower? Or take long baths instead of showers?

The point is to try to be alone with yourself without the comfort of clothing until you feel good, and that confidence can help you feel more at home in your skin.

A newfound sense of comfort in your body can easily teach you how to feel sexy again.

 

Practice self-care

It’s a lot easier to feel sexy when not only is your body well cared for, but you’re emotionally cared for too.

What do you need to feel your best?

Exercise? Lots of green smoothies? A walk outside in nature? A hot bath? A nap? A good cry?

Take care of your own basic needs and your cup will be full.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m tired and overwhelmed, sex is usually the first thing to fall to wayside. I’m just too tired!

And when it comes to self-care, this also means taking care of your physical appearance.

I am not saying you need to do anything special to be presentable enough to get it on. Rather, what can you do to your physical appearance to make yourself feel hot and attractive? The question of how to feel sexy might be as simple as some extra indulgent moisturizer.

Like, I am all about women choosing not to shave their legs or armpits, and I forgo shaving many times. But I also feel sexier when my legs are smooth and armpits hair-free. When I really want to inject some extra oomph, I get a Brazilian wax too.

Remember, this isn’t about you fulfilling some random beauty standard. It’s about you doing what feels good for you.

Pleasure yourself

And speaking of doing what feels good for you… how about you spend a little time getting reacquainted with yourself and what pleases you.

After having babies, I usually go through a phase when even if I do feel like having orgasms (self-induced or otherwise), I’m in the thick of new motherhood and just don’t have the will or energy.

In my opinion, the first place to start when reestablishing your passions is to start alone. Remind yourself of how awesome orgasms are. Wanna know how to feel sexy again? Start by learning from your own pleasure.

Reconnect emotionally

Ever feel like you and your partner are two ships passing in the night vs. lovers?

Same here.

When you have little kids, it is easy to get stuck in a rut of just co-parenting instead of romance.

So start reconnecting. It’s easier to feel like hopping back in the sack when you are feeling attracted to and comfortable with the person you plan to get busy with.

After my husband and I implemented a weekly date night, our sex life picked up tremendously. This is one of those simple recommendations that is almost a cliche at this point, but the importance of a date night can’t be overstated!

Reclaim the intimacy with your partner, and start to feel that head between you too.

Ultimately, how to feel sexy again is about reconnecting with yourself and your relationships. It might take time, so be gentle with yourself and most of… enjoy.

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Sex After Kids: Tips to Get Your Freak on More

Sex After Kids: Tips to Get Your Freak on More

Having sex after kids can be a little tricky, and many people find that they are just not getting it in like they used to.

Healing postpartum, busy schedules, the sheer exhaustion of having kids, and more can all lead to parents having just about zero sex after kids.

While sex isn’t the only thing that makes a marriage work, it does help keep a relationship tight. We all go through sex slumps, and that’s fine, but sometimes leads to a slump in the relationship as well because we forget to prioritize bonding time.

Sex is one of the ways that couples cement the relationship and continue to build trust with each other. Not to mention it is super fun!

So let’s brainstorm some ways on how to have more sex after kids.

Start sexting

Sometimes the last thing you feel like doing after a long day of work or a long day chasing kids around is gettin’ busy with your significant other. But you can inject some heat into the relationship by sending sexy texts throughout the day. 

If you are new to sexting it might feel awkward at first, but eventually, you figure out what works for you and your partner to really amp up the vibes in your sex life. When you’re trying to have sex after kids, sometimes a little virtual sex will have to do.

This is also awesome when you might not literally be able to have sex. Maybe you are away from each other for work, or you’re still not healed from birth, but want to start building that intimate connection again. Sexting is the way to go!

Be creative with location

I bedshare so our nice comfy king-sized bed is off limits for sex because at least one child is occupying it. Instead we do it in the guest room, bathroom, kitchen, hallway. Wherever we can grab some quick alone time, even the playroom sometimes! 

One of the biggest reasons many people are super hesitant to share sleep with their kids is an antiquated notion that it will ruin your sex life. This always makes me scratch my head a little bit, beds are not the only place you can get it on.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself

In many ways, my sex life with my husband has been the best it’s ever been since having kids. We are on a streak of having sex nearly every day for an entire month! Yeah… things have been quite steamy around here.

But it isn’t always like this. After having my twins I think we had sex like a handful of times that first year. There are a lot of reasons for this, but really a lot of came down to me not feeling ready.

If you push yourself to have sex when you don’t feel physically or emotionally ready, it is surely not going to be that enjoyable. Instead, focus on healing and tapping into your inner sex goddess on your own for a while. Then when you do reconnect in the bedroom, it’ll be way more orgasmic for you.

Get intimate in other ways

If you are in a phase of not having much sex after kids, try to find other ways to keep the intimacy between you and your partner.

Find time to hold hands, kiss, hug and cuddle. You’ll start to feel closer to each other, and a lot of times sex will naturally follow from there.

The point is to start feeling more connected to your parter no you’ll feel more comfortable hopping back in the sack, and to keep the connection between you strong when sex isn’t on the table, or just isn’t happening as often.

One idea would be to learn their love language so you can show them your affection in the way they can best receive it. So maybe hugs don’t do it for them, but doing the dishes for them does.

Schedule it

This doesn’t sound too romantic, but it works! While my husband and I do have sex spontaneously sometimes, we also have a sex routine.

First, we have a weekly date night scheduled on the calendar where we go get dinner and drinks together, and that often leads to taking advantage of the tinted windows in our car to get a quicky (or two) in at the restaurant parking lot.

Then, we also have fallen into a routine that goes like this. The husband puts twins to bed while I write for the blog, then I take a shower, then our daughter goes to bed, and then it’s sex time. At this point it is just our routine that we do every almost every night.

Just like forming any habit, you can get into the habit of getting laid.

Dress the part

So it turns out that a lot of men actually love our yoga pants, mamas. Seriously, and not to be rude, but I’ve seen you mamas strutting around Target in those tights… they look hot!

But what are you wearing underneath?

I have to admit that I really just want to wear granny panties every damn day. I now have one style of panty I LOVE, and so I bought 10 pair of them all in black. They are NOT super sexy, but they do just kind of blend in, and aren’t UNsexy.

When it’s date night though, I do my best to whip out those few pre-baby lacey undies still floating around my drawers. It’s partly because it might look sexier to my husband, but it’s also because I FEEL sexier when I wear the sexy lingerie.

Pick something that makes you feel hot, and go with it.

It can feel a bit awkward at first if you are still getting used to your new mombod, and that’s ok. It might take time to embrace your new body, but you are still a sex goddess when you want to be, and if it helps you ease into feeling sexy again, treat yourself to something that feels hot and luxurious.

What are your ideas? Have any awesome tips for how to have more (and better) sex after kids? Share them in the comments!

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