15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

Trying to find the perfect first time mom Christmas gifts? This list has you covered!

These mom-approved gifts are all available on Amazon, affordable, and would be so welcomed by any mama as the first time mom Christmas gifts.

As I sat down to curate this list I thought back on my own time as a new mom and especially when I was in that fourth trimester, the postpartum time. Perhaps it’s because my first child was born around Thanksgiving, but I always associate the holidays with have a little newborn and need to de-stress and relax.

I mostly just wanted to feel comfortable and cared for, or I wanted to just get fun things for the baby and take all the selfies with my little mini-me. 

So this list of awesome first time mom Christmas gifts is inspired by what I would have loved to receive during that first Christmas as a new mom.

(Just a quick FYI that I’ve included affiliate links, which means if you purchase any of these items with my link I get a small commission at no extra cost to you. A great way to support this website if you enjoy our stories.)

The perfect cup for mamas that handles whatever liquid they are needing. Fill it up with some strong coffee in the morning and some rosé in the evening. 

Or get fancy. This mug is so gorgeous and takes regular coffee up to to self-care status ASAP. 

First time moms need something to snack on, right? Whether the long nights are making them weary, or the breastfeeding cravings are in high gear, these Ghiradelli chocolates are crave-worthy.

Is your mom friend super healthy? Maybe some organic tea would be a better fill for her mug?

Moms need to stay hydrated, especially if breastfeeding! These awesome water bottles will keep her water cool and ready to quench her thirst for hours.

Hand this box to the first time mama, and have her hand you the baby while she relaxes in a bath filled with fizzy organic goodness in the form of these bath bombs.

Go ahead and throw in these luscious new organic cotton towels to make the experience even more luxe.

Mama needs some reading material to relax with those bath bombs, or distract her during those long long long cluster feeding sessions. 

Comfy + Cute clothes are essential to feeling good both physically and mentally as a new mom. Induct her into the mama bear club with a mama bear sweatshirt.

Know a mom who loves to journal and is super sentimental? This one-line-a-day journal is easy enough that a new mom can tackle it and keep track of that stage of new mom.

Help a mom de-stress, get centered, and let her creativity out with some #momlife coloring

Make her Christmas extra memorable with these adorable ornaments, and obligatory set of matching family pajamas.

Christmas shopping can be so stressful, but new moms are loving these ideas. But if you are in a pinch think about what moms need most during postpartum. It’s support and nurturing. 

As moms we are spending all of our time caring for a nurturing our little bundles of joy, so who then is nurturing us? Choose gifts that support her in this sensitive and beautiful time and make her feel cared for completely.

 

Are we missing anything? What would you include as the best first time mom Christmas gifts? What did you want when you were a new mom?

15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

Trying to find the perfect first time mom Christmas gifts? This list has you covered! These mom-approved gifts are all available on Amazon, affordable, and would be so welcomed by any mama as the first time mom Christmas gifts. As I sat down to curate this list I...

I Love My Boring MomLife

I Love My Boring MomLife

It's taken me years to truly embrace it, but the older I get the more I settle into motherhood and absolutely love my boring momlife. Today was one of those days when nothing super notable happened, but it just highlights the realities of my life right now and why I...

How to Take Better Photos of Your Kids

How to Take Better Photos of Your Kids

Capturing those picture-perfect moments with kids can be so challenging. That's why I asked professional photographers for their best tips on how to take better photos of your kids. Tired of the pictures your snap of your kids coming out blurry, dark, or just... meh?...

What I Learned from Breastfeeding Twins for Two Years

What I Learned from Breastfeeding Twins for Two Years

Breastfeeding twins has been major accomplishment. I have reached my goal of nursing twins for two full years. This is what helped me get there. The odds are stacked against many moms when they start their journey of breastfeeding twins, but after recently reaching...

What Having a Boy Taught Me About Self-Love

What Having a Boy Taught Me About Self-Love

While the bond I have with my daughter is priceless, it was having a boy that taught me about self-love. You see I love my daughter every ounce as much as my sons, but as a woman, I know what difficulties she will probably face growing up today as a girl. Having the...

The Fear of Loss in Motherhood

The Fear of Loss in Motherhood

Trigger Warning: infant/pregnancy loss One night during my first pregnancy I just felt off. My back was bothering me. I felt crampy. Just not myself. I took at a long hot shower and felt just a little better, and went back to bed.  It wasn’t until I woke up at 2am to...

Hospital Bag Checklist: What to Pack for Hospital Birth

Hospital Bag Checklist: What to Pack for Hospital Birth

Not sure what to pack for hospital birth? These are the absolute essentials to add to your hospital bag checklist! We're just sharing the absolute musts that moms say they are glad they added to their hospital bag checklist before the baby came. Trying to think of...

30 Day Gratitude Challenge and Gratitude Prompts

30 Day Gratitude Challenge and Gratitude Prompts

Practicing gratitude is a proven way to increase happiness, and gratitude challenge is an awesome way to get into the habit of appreciating all you have. These 30 days of gratitude prompts that will help you kick off a gratitude challenge so you can make journaling...

Gifts for Moms Who Don’t Want Anything

Gifts for Moms Who Don’t Want Anything

It is so frustrating shopping for gifts for moms who don't want anything, isn't it? But even if she proclaims she doesn't need a thing, there are gifts for moms who don't want anything that are exactly what they need! This year, get the mom in your life something that...

I Love My Boring MomLife

I Love My Boring MomLife

It’s taken me years to truly embrace it, but the older I get the more I settle into motherhood and absolutely love my boring momlife.

Today was one of those days when nothing super notable happened, but it just highlights the realities of my life right now and why I love it even with all of its imperfections.

The day started out with poop

As the three wildlings wrestled around on my bed I noticed a little smear of something on my pants.

Smell test confirmed poop. 

Since I had *just* checked twin B’s diaper 30 seconds before, the culprit had to be twin A. 

What used to be a catastrophe is just a part of life now. This used to be a four-alarm wake-up-the-husband emergency, but this morning I just calmly took of my clothes, grabbed the offender and stripped him down and cleaned him up, and finally stripped the bed and tossed the other two kids’ clothes on top just to be safe. 

I got dressed and let the kids run around naked for just a few minutes before clothing them too and getting started with our morning routine

When I run into old friends or family at the store or a party they ask: “What have you been up to?” 

I never quite know how to answer it, so I just reply with a semi-joking “Just living the dream…” as my children tear something apart whole laughing maniacally. 

This life is chaotic, and it’s a mess. It’s also mundane and boring. AND it’s magical and miraculous. 

Isn’t that the nature of momlife? Parts heaven and hell? Parts mess and perfection? Parts tears and smiles? Parts tantrums and joy?

Nothing that happened to me today was exceptionally remarkable. In fact, the highlight of the day was something so commonplace. So typical. So normal. 

My magical moment was this: I raked all the leaves up in our backyard, called the kids over, and told them to jump.

Earlier this year I went to Disney World with the kids. It was an amazing trip. Going on a vacation like that gives you the chance to make tons of memories and step out of your normal routines and schedules to just savor the time together.

I decided when we left and I was deep in the post-Disney blues that I would carry that same feeling into my everyday life. I wanted to have the “Disney” moments every single day.

And you know what? For the most part, I do.

We might have had a simple meal made mostly of leftovers instead of chowing down on steak at Cinderella’s Castle, but watching my little ones shovel in the homecooked meal I made them as quickly as they could was every bit as rewarding and memorable for me.

Just like watching my kids jumping in a leaf pile for the first time in their lives was every bit as magical, if not more, than seeing them get their first glimpse of Mickey.

Every day I’m reminded of how things can go horribly wrong. There’s always bad news to read or hear out there, sometimes close to home and sometimes far away.

The only way that I am able to live my life without breaking down or being so depressed I can’t function with the state of our world is to use the bad as a reminder that no news is good news.

If we are on our routines, our schedules… if the biggest worry I have is whether my cranky twin with the cold will wake up 5 times tonight then my life is damn good.

If you’re reading this, chances are your life is pretty damn good too.

Motherhood is this weird place where you are both constantly hyper-vigilant to all the things that could go wrong and all the dangers awaiting your little ones (or big ones). Yet, it’s easy to lose touch with that feeling of utter gratitude, abundance, and joy in our constant cycle of maintaining the structures that keep out lives afloat.

I’ve been on a journey of learning to minimize and simplify my life as much as possible.

Like many, I have traumas and hurts that created not so great tendencies. For most of my life (and even now), I’ve had some form of addiction. While I’ve been able to curb the worst of them, like smoking, I still have impulses to overeat, overspend, and also overdrink sometimes too.

I felt pressure for a long time to be everything to everyone. I had this false notion of what a woman and mom should be.

I literally expected perfection of myself. To make millions while staying at home with my kids, teaching them to read and use the potty by like 18 months old, ensure they only eat healthy organic foods, and also stay super sexy while maintaining the perfect marriage with a smokin’ hot sex life.

This is what memes are made out of, am I right? Just typing out that paragraph it sounds so absurd and silly to expect that of any one person. And yet, a voice inside of me says I’m not good enough unless I’m all of that and more.

That’s where all the excess comes in. To fill that void of never being perfect, I try to buy my way to happiness or eat my way to happiness or smoke my way to happiness or drink my way to happiness.

None of it works.

What works? Just being present with my kids jumping in a leaf pile. That’s real happiness.

It’s boring. It’s not flashy. It’s mundane. It’s just the typical fall thing all kids do.

But it means everything to me.

When I jokingly tell someone I’m living the dream, I am being honest. Because this IS my dream.

Being a mom and living this boring life of going to ballet class, being a snack bitch, pushing a double stroller around the neighborhood, making pizza out of play doh, and reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar for the 1000th time is all I’ve ever truly wanted.

Once I stripped away the facades that have been laid upon me by external expectations and societal pressure, I just want to hang out with my kids, write on this blog, and live my imperfect but incredible little life.

The boring momlife is my purpose and my calling. And I’m going to live it up while these little ones are still little and my nest is still full to bursting.

15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

Trying to find the perfect first time mom Christmas gifts? This list has you covered! These mom-approved gifts are all available on Amazon, affordable, and would be so welcomed by any mama as the first time mom Christmas gifts. As I sat down to curate this list I...

I Love My Boring MomLife

I Love My Boring MomLife

It's taken me years to truly embrace it, but the older I get the more I settle into motherhood and absolutely love my boring momlife. Today was one of those days when nothing super notable happened, but it just highlights the realities of my life right now and why I...

How to Take Better Photos of Your Kids

How to Take Better Photos of Your Kids

Capturing those picture-perfect moments with kids can be so challenging. That's why I asked professional photographers for their best tips on how to take better photos of your kids. Tired of the pictures your snap of your kids coming out blurry, dark, or just... meh?...

What I Learned from Breastfeeding Twins for Two Years

What I Learned from Breastfeeding Twins for Two Years

Breastfeeding twins has been major accomplishment. I have reached my goal of nursing twins for two full years. This is what helped me get there. The odds are stacked against many moms when they start their journey of breastfeeding twins, but after recently reaching...

What Having a Boy Taught Me About Self-Love

What Having a Boy Taught Me About Self-Love

While the bond I have with my daughter is priceless, it was having a boy that taught me about self-love. You see I love my daughter every ounce as much as my sons, but as a woman, I know what difficulties she will probably face growing up today as a girl. Having the...

The Fear of Loss in Motherhood

The Fear of Loss in Motherhood

Trigger Warning: infant/pregnancy loss One night during my first pregnancy I just felt off. My back was bothering me. I felt crampy. Just not myself. I took at a long hot shower and felt just a little better, and went back to bed.  It wasn’t until I woke up at 2am to...

Hospital Bag Checklist: What to Pack for Hospital Birth

Hospital Bag Checklist: What to Pack for Hospital Birth

Not sure what to pack for hospital birth? These are the absolute essentials to add to your hospital bag checklist! We're just sharing the absolute musts that moms say they are glad they added to their hospital bag checklist before the baby came. Trying to think of...

30 Day Gratitude Challenge and Gratitude Prompts

30 Day Gratitude Challenge and Gratitude Prompts

Practicing gratitude is a proven way to increase happiness, and gratitude challenge is an awesome way to get into the habit of appreciating all you have. These 30 days of gratitude prompts that will help you kick off a gratitude challenge so you can make journaling...

Gifts for Moms Who Don’t Want Anything

Gifts for Moms Who Don’t Want Anything

It is so frustrating shopping for gifts for moms who don't want anything, isn't it? But even if she proclaims she doesn't need a thing, there are gifts for moms who don't want anything that are exactly what they need! This year, get the mom in your life something that...

How to Take Better Photos of Your Kids

How to Take Better Photos of Your Kids

Capturing those picture-perfect moments with kids can be so challenging. That’s why I asked professional photographers for their best tips on how to take better photos of your kids.

Tired of the pictures your snap of your kids coming out blurry, dark, or just… meh? Wish you knew how to take better photos of your kids? (Me too!)

It’s so annoying when you think you caught the sweetest moment just to find out later they have that weird “cheese” expression on their face. So I asked professionals what they do to take beautiful pictures, and they agreed to share their tricks for taking better pictures with you!

Did I mention they’re also moms too? They feel our pain! Keep scrolling for more IG and Holiday card worthy shots without having to hire someone.

Lighting is key!

The difference between a mediocre photo and one that stands out from the crowd is usually lighting.

You want to be able to see those cute little faces, which means making sure they are actually looking towards the light. Plus, did you know there are certain times of day that give you the best light for taking photos? It’s true!

When learning how to take better photos of your kids, most of the photographers I surveyed talked about lighting, it’s that important.

The best time to take photos outdoor is an hour before sunset. The sun is in the perfect spot in the sky and photographers often refer to this time as ‘Golden Hour.’ But have no fear, shade or overcast skies are okay, too! Look for even light no matter what time of day it is. If you are inside, get close to a window but out of the direct suns harsh rays. Always have the light from the window facing the children. If you try and shoot INTO the window your device may have a hard time knowing exactly what it should be focusing on. and also will result in dark subjects.”

Rhianna Clark (Rhianna is a professional photographer and mom of five! www.facebook.com/RhiannaClarkPhotography/)

“When photographing indoors in less than ideal light (like in our preschool graduation, held in a church), bring your kiddo close to a window and have them look towards the sunlight. Indoors or out, don’t forget to lock your focus on their closes eye.”

Audrey M. McCouch (Audrey is a mom and photographer. You can find her on Facebook at Audrey M. McCouch.)

Have fun, be candid, and don’t take it too seriously!

I don’t know about you, but whenever I try to get my 4-year-old to take a “serious” picture, she makes the weirdest faces! It’s like I have to trick her into making a natural smile instead of something that appears stilted and unnatural. (And let’s be real, most adults can’t accomplish this task either!)

Something of the lessons other photographers shared with me was about learning to let go, have fun, embrace being a kid, and go with the flow when you’re trying to figure out how to take better photos of your kids.

Let kids be kids and have fun. Bring out some favorite toys or activities and let them play with them. You are not only capturing your child being happy, but capturing an activity, toy, etc. that makes them happy at this time in their life. Kids’ interests change over time and capturing the here and now is best. Plus, it will produce genuine smiles and laughter to capture.” 

Virginia Carden (Virginia and her husband, Tim, have taken hundreds of gorgeous photos of me and my family from my engagement to birth to newborn photos. www.cardensweddingphotography.com/)

Don’t forget to get in the pictures too

How many more memes do we need where moms have the most gorgeous photos of their kids and even partners with the kids, but the photos of themselves with the kids?

They are either nonexistent, or you look like a literal mombie.

Let’s end that now. We deserve to be in the shot too! Read below for one photographer’s really important take!

“Remember to get yourself in some photos too! Set your camera to the timer and say cheese! Your kids won’t care that your hair was a mess or you had sweat pants on and baby spit-up on your shirt. What they will see is a parent that was involved and having fun with them! Capture the beauty of life around you, it’s a wild ride!”

Crystyn Leigh Haun (Crystyn is a photographer and mom of four boys!  www.facebook.com/PhotographybyCrystyn/)

Just to recap real quick on the keys to how to take better photos of your kids… Good lighting, have fun, and don’t forget to get in that picture too mama!

15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

Trying to find the perfect first time mom Christmas gifts? This list has you covered! These mom-approved gifts are all available on Amazon, affordable, and would be so welcomed by any mama as the first time mom Christmas gifts. As I sat down to curate this list I...

I Love My Boring MomLife

I Love My Boring MomLife

It's taken me years to truly embrace it, but the older I get the more I settle into motherhood and absolutely love my boring momlife. Today was one of those days when nothing super notable happened, but it just highlights the realities of my life right now and why I...

How to Take Better Photos of Your Kids

How to Take Better Photos of Your Kids

Capturing those picture-perfect moments with kids can be so challenging. That's why I asked professional photographers for their best tips on how to take better photos of your kids. Tired of the pictures your snap of your kids coming out blurry, dark, or just... meh?...

What I Learned from Breastfeeding Twins for Two Years

What I Learned from Breastfeeding Twins for Two Years

Breastfeeding twins has been major accomplishment. I have reached my goal of nursing twins for two full years. This is what helped me get there. The odds are stacked against many moms when they start their journey of breastfeeding twins, but after recently reaching...

What Having a Boy Taught Me About Self-Love

What Having a Boy Taught Me About Self-Love

While the bond I have with my daughter is priceless, it was having a boy that taught me about self-love. You see I love my daughter every ounce as much as my sons, but as a woman, I know what difficulties she will probably face growing up today as a girl. Having the...

The Fear of Loss in Motherhood

The Fear of Loss in Motherhood

Trigger Warning: infant/pregnancy loss One night during my first pregnancy I just felt off. My back was bothering me. I felt crampy. Just not myself. I took at a long hot shower and felt just a little better, and went back to bed.  It wasn’t until I woke up at 2am to...

Hospital Bag Checklist: What to Pack for Hospital Birth

Hospital Bag Checklist: What to Pack for Hospital Birth

Not sure what to pack for hospital birth? These are the absolute essentials to add to your hospital bag checklist! We're just sharing the absolute musts that moms say they are glad they added to their hospital bag checklist before the baby came. Trying to think of...

30 Day Gratitude Challenge and Gratitude Prompts

30 Day Gratitude Challenge and Gratitude Prompts

Practicing gratitude is a proven way to increase happiness, and gratitude challenge is an awesome way to get into the habit of appreciating all you have. These 30 days of gratitude prompts that will help you kick off a gratitude challenge so you can make journaling...

Gifts for Moms Who Don’t Want Anything

Gifts for Moms Who Don’t Want Anything

It is so frustrating shopping for gifts for moms who don't want anything, isn't it? But even if she proclaims she doesn't need a thing, there are gifts for moms who don't want anything that are exactly what they need! This year, get the mom in your life something that...

What Having a Boy Taught Me About Self-Love

What Having a Boy Taught Me About Self-Love

While the bond I have with my daughter is priceless, it was having a boy that taught me about self-love.

You see I love my daughter every ounce as much as my sons, but as a woman, I know what difficulties she will probably face growing up today as a girl. Having the chance to raise a girl and help her create a world full of even more equality for women is a privilege.

But my sons? I don’t have those same issues at play, and also any of my own personal issues that are related to being a woman or a girl aren’t placed on them. The bond is more simple than that with my daughter.

One night I lay awake staring at a chubby-faced baby boy. I think about all the ways I’m not the perfect mom.

All the ways I have and will let him down. All the choices I must make and whether they are the right ones.

But there is one thing I know.

There is one thing I can and will do. It is love him. I can love him fiercely and without limits. With such intensity, it is exquisite and almost painful. 

Holding so much joy inside it almost bursts.

This is what I learn from being his mom. This amount of love, and how to finally feel this love for not just a romantic partner, or even my child. But for myself.

It is only through my children that I see my true self. The self that is worthy of unconditional love. The self that makes mistakes, but is still beautiful. The self that isn’t just worthy of love, but IS love. 

For that fierce love I hold for him? He was the one who brought it into being, just as I brought him into being. Because just as I love him with every cell of my body, he loves me in return.

He gives me the best gift in allowing me to mother him. In allowing me to mother myself through feeling this love and turning it inward. To heal all the wounds that were left by the men before him. 

He does what a man can not. He does what only the purity of a tiny boy can do. To guide me through this symbiosis of love between us that reopens, cleanses and sears those old tattered and scarred wounds, and leaves nothing but light in their place. 

This light is unending. This light is blinding but gentle. This light is mine, and this light is his.

We can change the world this little man and me. If we can teach each other this love… How do we not teach it to others?

Having a boy helped me learn true self- love. What would the world be like if we could all find a level of self-love (and love for others) even remotely close to this?

15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

Trying to find the perfect first time mom Christmas gifts? This list has you covered! These mom-approved gifts are all available on Amazon, affordable, and would be so welcomed by any mama as the first time mom Christmas gifts. As I sat down to curate this list I...

I Love My Boring MomLife

I Love My Boring MomLife

It's taken me years to truly embrace it, but the older I get the more I settle into motherhood and absolutely love my boring momlife. Today was one of those days when nothing super notable happened, but it just highlights the realities of my life right now and why I...

How to Take Better Photos of Your Kids

How to Take Better Photos of Your Kids

Capturing those picture-perfect moments with kids can be so challenging. That's why I asked professional photographers for their best tips on how to take better photos of your kids. Tired of the pictures your snap of your kids coming out blurry, dark, or just... meh?...

What I Learned from Breastfeeding Twins for Two Years

What I Learned from Breastfeeding Twins for Two Years

Breastfeeding twins has been major accomplishment. I have reached my goal of nursing twins for two full years. This is what helped me get there. The odds are stacked against many moms when they start their journey of breastfeeding twins, but after recently reaching...

What Having a Boy Taught Me About Self-Love

What Having a Boy Taught Me About Self-Love

While the bond I have with my daughter is priceless, it was having a boy that taught me about self-love. You see I love my daughter every ounce as much as my sons, but as a woman, I know what difficulties she will probably face growing up today as a girl. Having the...

The Fear of Loss in Motherhood

The Fear of Loss in Motherhood

Trigger Warning: infant/pregnancy loss One night during my first pregnancy I just felt off. My back was bothering me. I felt crampy. Just not myself. I took at a long hot shower and felt just a little better, and went back to bed.  It wasn’t until I woke up at 2am to...

Hospital Bag Checklist: What to Pack for Hospital Birth

Hospital Bag Checklist: What to Pack for Hospital Birth

Not sure what to pack for hospital birth? These are the absolute essentials to add to your hospital bag checklist! We're just sharing the absolute musts that moms say they are glad they added to their hospital bag checklist before the baby came. Trying to think of...

30 Day Gratitude Challenge and Gratitude Prompts

30 Day Gratitude Challenge and Gratitude Prompts

Practicing gratitude is a proven way to increase happiness, and gratitude challenge is an awesome way to get into the habit of appreciating all you have. These 30 days of gratitude prompts that will help you kick off a gratitude challenge so you can make journaling...

Gifts for Moms Who Don’t Want Anything

Gifts for Moms Who Don’t Want Anything

It is so frustrating shopping for gifts for moms who don't want anything, isn't it? But even if she proclaims she doesn't need a thing, there are gifts for moms who don't want anything that are exactly what they need! This year, get the mom in your life something that...

The Fear of Loss in Motherhood

The Fear of Loss in Motherhood

Trigger Warning: infant/pregnancy loss

One night during my first pregnancy I just felt off. My back was bothering me. I felt crampy. Just not myself.

I took at a long hot shower and felt just a little better, and went back to bed. 

It wasn’t until I woke up at 2am to blood that I started to panic. I was 8 weeks pregnant, and my worst fear seemed to be coming true. Why else would I be bleeding? 

I woke up Mike and we went to the hospital. I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know at the time that there wasn’t really anything they could have done to help me at the time. But I hoped. 

During the ultrasound they wouldn’t let me see the screen. They don’t allow the women to see the screen while they are doing them in that circumstance. I wasn’t even allowed to see what was happening inside of my own uterus. So I just had to lay there with a wand in my vagina and wait. 

Afterwards I waited some more until the doctor came back to deliver some mostly good news. 

The baby was fine, but I had a subchorionic hematoma. Basically some blood gets trapped behind the placenta when it forms. The blood I saw was that blood releasing. It CAN cause the placenta to detach and a miscarriage, but it looked like we were going to be just fine. Seven months later, Carolyn was born healthy as can be. 

I had a perfectly healthy and uncomplicated birth for my next pregnancy… besides the fact that I happened to have twins, everything went off without a hitch. 

It was the pregnancy after that, or rather the maybe pregnancy that broke my heart. 

Mike and I had been separated for about 7-8 months during the year 2018. There is nothing that will convince me we are not soul mates. Our relationship seems fated. Yet, just because someone is a soulmate doesn’t mean that the relationship has no problems or complexities. 

We are humans, not saints. And part of being human means we have shit to unpack and deal with. 

Both Mike and I had traumas (big and small) to work through in order to be the best partners (and parents) we could be. And it became clear to me that our marriage had become too toxic to continue as it was. 

So I left. 

However, after months of successful coparenting and therapy, we decided to give it a go again. 

That first month we were back together I could sense I was pregnant. Call me crazy, don’t believe me, I don’t care, but I know when I am pregnant. With both of my successful pregnancies I could sense that I was pregnant within 2 days of conception, before a pregnancy test could confirm what I knew to be true. 

And this first month after we reunited, I knew I was pregnant. A handful of at home pregnancy tests around 6-8 days past ovulation showed me the faintest of lines. My logical brain will always question whether they were real, my heart will always know they were.

But I had an IUD. And the IUD did it’s job. The pregnancy didn’t last. When I was about 7 days past the expected start of my period, I started bleeding. There wasn’t time for me to have it removed before I could really confirm the pregnancy and see my midwife. 

Part of me will always feel like it was my fault. 

The thing about motherhood and birthing children is that you also become very acquainted with the idea of death. 

Death is everywhere. 

From the moment you learn you’re pregnant you worry. Every little cramp or odd feeling sets off a chain of thoughts leading you down a rabbit hole of potential despair. And for almost a quarter of those pregnancies… they will end long before we hope. Sometimes before we are even sure if there was ever a baby there. 

As soon as that baby bursts out of our body we are on hyper-alert for any and every danger. It’s programming. Our survival instincts are still staying around from the days when we lived in caves and jungles. The danger was lurking around every corner and we need to be at the ready constantly. 

Now? Of course, there are still dangers to shield our children from, but now they come in the form of the curtain cords and electrical outlets, or perhaps parking lots and cars. 

A healthy level of alertness and even fear is a *good* thing because it helps us ensure our children’s safety. 

But there is this subtle layer below the surface of our vigilance. That is the terror. The terror and agony that even getting a brief glimpse of is maddening. It can make a mother insane.

The idea that we could lose our babies. 

And yet, because we have become intimate with the creation of life and the birth of life, we are painfully aware that its opposite exists. That death exists. That just like our babies took their first breath, they will some day take their lasts. 

We pray we will be long gone before that happens, and yet at the same time can’t imagine not being here to hold and comfort our child when they are hopefully 150 years old and their body finally gives out. 

But if life takes the course we hope for our children, we of course will not be here to guide them through exiting the world. No that isn’t our job (we hope). Our job was to bring them forth into this world and nurture them until they are able to nurture themselves. 

And in this process of learning how to nurture another being and guide them through life WE must change and adapt and nurture ourselves as well. 

We also become acquainted with death as one version of our selves is destroyed as a new one is created. With every new stretch mark that pops forth on our bellies and other bits, the body that existed in this space before is slowly killed and replaced with a new one. 

Our bodies transform from the maiden to the mother. We take on a new identity. 

Then as our children grow and enter new phases of development, the old them and the old us both die and are replaced. 

The newborn is gone, then the baby is gone. Suddenly your baby is a toddler, then a preschooler… and the progression continues. And as each iteration is replaced with a new one, so are you changed and replaced.

Do you know our bodies are completed replaced every 7 years? All parts of our physical form are made up of cells (remember high school biology class?) and each cell eventually dies, but another is created to take its place. After 7 years every single cell has died and been replaced.

So even if we look at the physical manifestations of who we are, we are changed completely over time (as are our babies). We are also irrevocably changed on a metaphysical level. Our soul changes. 

As we learn to navigate the choppy waters of motherhood we must adapt. We must change. We must learn to become someone new over and over and over again. 

Our psyches, our souls… they go through these mini-deaths and rebirths over and over again. 

This is good. This is natural. This is normal. As hard as it is, death and loss are as much part of life as birth and joy.

Like how the leaves of trees die and fall off to be replaced each year. Parts of us that may have once been beautiful and healthy will eventually fade and leave us to be replaced with something new as we continue to grow. 
If we are lucky, we are able to remain the sturdy tree. Rooted and grounded as the leaves surrounding us come and go. 

There is a chance however, that with each little death and transformation we face, that we are segmented. Fractured. That our soul is spread into thousands of pieces, that we must at some point go back and retrieve. 
Some day we look up and realize the so much of us has died without being replaced that we are not whole anymore. 

Something is missing. 

While the joy of our children may be intensely palpable, we are still missing something

Or some things that were integral to our soul’s foundation that has crumbled to dust and were blown away with the wind. The problem? We haven’t replaced those missing bricks, and as our foundation disappears the entire house falls in on itself. 

We fall in on ourselves. 

Perhaps we find ways to keep the house together. We find old pieces of lumber to brace the beams. To give support. 

But eventually… we can’t keep up the charade. 

We have to rebuild. Rebuild who we are.

And as we rebuild ourselves over time and over the course of motherhood, we become stronger, smarter, and more able to fulfill our role of leader and wise woman to our little ones and our village.

15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

Trying to find the perfect first time mom Christmas gifts? This list has you covered! These mom-approved gifts are all available on Amazon, affordable, and would be so welcomed by any mama as the first time mom Christmas gifts. As I sat down to curate this list I...

I Love My Boring MomLife

I Love My Boring MomLife

It's taken me years to truly embrace it, but the older I get the more I settle into motherhood and absolutely love my boring momlife. Today was one of those days when nothing super notable happened, but it just highlights the realities of my life right now and why I...

How to Take Better Photos of Your Kids

How to Take Better Photos of Your Kids

Capturing those picture-perfect moments with kids can be so challenging. That's why I asked professional photographers for their best tips on how to take better photos of your kids. Tired of the pictures your snap of your kids coming out blurry, dark, or just... meh?...

What I Learned from Breastfeeding Twins for Two Years

What I Learned from Breastfeeding Twins for Two Years

Breastfeeding twins has been major accomplishment. I have reached my goal of nursing twins for two full years. This is what helped me get there. The odds are stacked against many moms when they start their journey of breastfeeding twins, but after recently reaching...

What Having a Boy Taught Me About Self-Love

What Having a Boy Taught Me About Self-Love

While the bond I have with my daughter is priceless, it was having a boy that taught me about self-love. You see I love my daughter every ounce as much as my sons, but as a woman, I know what difficulties she will probably face growing up today as a girl. Having the...

The Fear of Loss in Motherhood

The Fear of Loss in Motherhood

Trigger Warning: infant/pregnancy loss One night during my first pregnancy I just felt off. My back was bothering me. I felt crampy. Just not myself. I took at a long hot shower and felt just a little better, and went back to bed.  It wasn’t until I woke up at 2am to...

Hospital Bag Checklist: What to Pack for Hospital Birth

Hospital Bag Checklist: What to Pack for Hospital Birth

Not sure what to pack for hospital birth? These are the absolute essentials to add to your hospital bag checklist! We're just sharing the absolute musts that moms say they are glad they added to their hospital bag checklist before the baby came. Trying to think of...

30 Day Gratitude Challenge and Gratitude Prompts

30 Day Gratitude Challenge and Gratitude Prompts

Practicing gratitude is a proven way to increase happiness, and gratitude challenge is an awesome way to get into the habit of appreciating all you have. These 30 days of gratitude prompts that will help you kick off a gratitude challenge so you can make journaling...

Gifts for Moms Who Don’t Want Anything

Gifts for Moms Who Don’t Want Anything

It is so frustrating shopping for gifts for moms who don't want anything, isn't it? But even if she proclaims she doesn't need a thing, there are gifts for moms who don't want anything that are exactly what they need! This year, get the mom in your life something that...

Screw Instagram. The Messy Reality of Being a Mom

Screw Instagram. The Messy Reality of Being a Mom

Letterboards with the perfect quotes held by pristinely made-up moms with mombuns that defy gravity. Children who wear bonnets for God’s sake, and don’t rip it off the second it touches their scalp. Kitchens that look like Joanna Gaines designed them and then stayed to keep it clean too.

Instagram is a beautiful place. And it can also be a toxic place.

Oh, did I mention how even #mombod is used to sell moms workout programs and supplement shakes instead of celebrating the miracle their body performed by growing and birthing a human being? (Whether the baby came out of a vagina or incision.)

And how is every room always perfectly lit with just the right amount of natural light that even the best filters can’t seem to replicate for me?

I’ll admit that I also do my best to have a pretty polished appearance on Instagram even if I don’t have the most picture-perfect feed. (Shameless plug to follow me at instagram.com/momuprising.)

But it always feels inauthentic and hard. I love this post all about the toxic elements of Instagram and how it can hard mothers, especially new moms.

IG sets us up for failure by giving us unrealistic expectations of what momlife is supposed to look like while not cluing us into the reality of motherhood. But instead of rehashing all those points, let me just give a glimpse into my life.

Here is what my life and my home really looks like as the mom of three kids under 5.

It’s a hot mess. A very loving, magical, and amazing mess that I wouldn’t trade in the world. A mess I chose. A mess I re-chose every single day. But it’s still a mess.

This is what my house looks like at the end of the day, or honestly all day sometimes.

15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

15 Perfect First Time Mom Christmas Gifts

Trying to find the perfect first time mom Christmas gifts? This list has you covered! These mom-approved gifts are all available on Amazon, affordable, and would be so welcomed by any mama as the first time mom Christmas gifts. As I sat down to curate this list I...

I Love My Boring MomLife

I Love My Boring MomLife

It's taken me years to truly embrace it, but the older I get the more I settle into motherhood and absolutely love my boring momlife. Today was one of those days when nothing super notable happened, but it just highlights the realities of my life right now and why I...

How to Take Better Photos of Your Kids

How to Take Better Photos of Your Kids

Capturing those picture-perfect moments with kids can be so challenging. That's why I asked professional photographers for their best tips on how to take better photos of your kids. Tired of the pictures your snap of your kids coming out blurry, dark, or just... meh?...

What I Learned from Breastfeeding Twins for Two Years

What I Learned from Breastfeeding Twins for Two Years

Breastfeeding twins has been major accomplishment. I have reached my goal of nursing twins for two full years. This is what helped me get there. The odds are stacked against many moms when they start their journey of breastfeeding twins, but after recently reaching...

What Having a Boy Taught Me About Self-Love

What Having a Boy Taught Me About Self-Love

While the bond I have with my daughter is priceless, it was having a boy that taught me about self-love. You see I love my daughter every ounce as much as my sons, but as a woman, I know what difficulties she will probably face growing up today as a girl. Having the...

The Fear of Loss in Motherhood

The Fear of Loss in Motherhood

Trigger Warning: infant/pregnancy loss One night during my first pregnancy I just felt off. My back was bothering me. I felt crampy. Just not myself. I took at a long hot shower and felt just a little better, and went back to bed.  It wasn’t until I woke up at 2am to...

Hospital Bag Checklist: What to Pack for Hospital Birth

Hospital Bag Checklist: What to Pack for Hospital Birth

Not sure what to pack for hospital birth? These are the absolute essentials to add to your hospital bag checklist! We're just sharing the absolute musts that moms say they are glad they added to their hospital bag checklist before the baby came. Trying to think of...

30 Day Gratitude Challenge and Gratitude Prompts

30 Day Gratitude Challenge and Gratitude Prompts

Practicing gratitude is a proven way to increase happiness, and gratitude challenge is an awesome way to get into the habit of appreciating all you have. These 30 days of gratitude prompts that will help you kick off a gratitude challenge so you can make journaling...

Gifts for Moms Who Don’t Want Anything

Gifts for Moms Who Don’t Want Anything

It is so frustrating shopping for gifts for moms who don't want anything, isn't it? But even if she proclaims she doesn't need a thing, there are gifts for moms who don't want anything that are exactly what they need! This year, get the mom in your life something that...