How to Feel Sexy Again After Having Babies

How to Feel Sexy Again After Having Babies

In a bit of a rut and wanting to figure out how to feel sexy again after having babies? Let’s talk about how to reconnect with your body and soul to feel sexy ASAP.

It’s totally normal to have a sex slump after kids. I mean, if you gave birth, there’s a period of time afterwards when it’s literally not safe or recommended to feel safe. Add in cluster feeding, a new body, exhaustion, overwhelm and more and it’s easy to understand why you have to relearn how to feel sexy.

These are the best ways that I’ve been able to bring my own sexy back postpartum, and they can help you learn how to be sexy again too.

 

Track your cycle

 

For most of my life, I was lucky if I jotted down in a notebook or calendar when I got my period. Each month was kind of a guessing game for me when my period would make its appearance.

It wasn’t until I starting trying to conceive that I first starting paying attention to what my body did every month.

As I started noting the different phases of my cycle each month, I was able to find a correlation between different phases of my cycle and how felt. Including when I felt extra sexy, and well… horny.

It’s no surprise that during ovulation is a time when many women will feel more inclined to get it on. I mean, it’s the one time of the month when our bodies are able to conceive. So it is basic math to put 2+2 together and realize the hormones happening in our body during ovulation encourage us to have sex.

But beyond ovulation, if you begin to track your cycle and how you are feeling at different phases, you’ll notice trends.

If you can figure out when you are usually feeling the sexiest, you can shoot for those times as date nights or late nights with your partner. How to feel sexy can be as simple as syncing up your clock.

 

Spend more time naked

 

Becoming a mom, birthing a child, means your body goes through a lot of huge changes. Even if you lose the baby weight or your postpartum belly, you probably aren’t looking or feeling exactly the same since acquiring a mombod.

Even the most confident women can feel a little shaky about getting naked and being intimate with someone at first after having a baby. You might find your postpartum body beautiful and sexy, but it might still take some time to just feel like it’s yours.

Change is hard sometimes, and when something as close to us as our body changes, it can derail our sexy vibes a bit.

So start finding ways to get more comfortable with your body, namely, be naked more.

How can you spend more time feeling what it feels like to be naked in this new mombod? Can you check yourself out in the mirror a little longer after a shower? Or take long baths instead of showers?

The point is to try to be alone with yourself without the comfort of clothing until you feel good, and that confidence can help you feel more at home in your skin.

A newfound sense of comfort in your body can easily teach you how to feel sexy again.

 

Practice self-care

It’s a lot easier to feel sexy when not only is your body well cared for, but you’re emotionally cared for too.

What do you need to feel your best?

Exercise? Lots of green smoothies? A walk outside in nature? A hot bath? A nap? A good cry?

Take care of your own basic needs and your cup will be full.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m tired and overwhelmed, sex is usually the first thing to fall to wayside. I’m just too tired!

And when it comes to self-care, this also means taking care of your physical appearance.

I am not saying you need to do anything special to be presentable enough to get it on. Rather, what can you do to your physical appearance to make yourself feel hot and attractive? The question of how to feel sexy might be as simple as some extra indulgent moisturizer.

Like, I am all about women choosing not to shave their legs or armpits, and I forgo shaving many times. But I also feel sexier when my legs are smooth and armpits hair-free. When I really want to inject some extra oomph, I get a Brazilian wax too.

Remember, this isn’t about you fulfilling some random beauty standard. It’s about you doing what feels good for you.

Pleasure yourself

And speaking of doing what feels good for you… how about you spend a little time getting reacquainted with yourself and what pleases you.

After having babies, I usually go through a phase when even if I do feel like having orgasms (self-induced or otherwise), I’m in the thick of new motherhood and just don’t have the will or energy.

In my opinion, the first place to start when reestablishing your passions is to start alone. Remind yourself of how awesome orgasms are. Wanna know how to feel sexy again? Start by learning from your own pleasure.

Reconnect emotionally

Ever feel like you and your partner are two ships passing in the night vs. lovers?

Same here.

When you have little kids, it is easy to get stuck in a rut of just co-parenting instead of romance.

So start reconnecting. It’s easier to feel like hopping back in the sack when you are feeling attracted to and comfortable with the person you plan to get busy with.

After my husband and I implemented a weekly date night, our sex life picked up tremendously. This is one of those simple recommendations that is almost a cliche at this point, but the importance of a date night can’t be overstated!

Reclaim the intimacy with your partner, and start to feel that head between you too.

Ultimately, how to feel sexy again is about reconnecting with yourself and your relationships. It might take time, so be gentle with yourself and most of… enjoy.

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There are so many ways in which modern society does not fully support new moms, especially during postpartum. So one mom decided to do something about it.

When Lisa Chin began her journey of entrepreneurship, she thought about what she would pursue even if she didn’t make any money. Her choice? Creating a summit on postpartum for moms called the Fourth Trimester Summit.

The passion Lisa had for sharing as much information as possible for new moms spawned from her own experience as a new mom and comparing her postpartum experience to other moms.

After having a natural breech birth, Lisa made the transition to motherhood with the traditional Chinese postpartum ritual of Confinement.

Confinement is when a mother spends 30 days after giving birth relaxing in pj’s, bonding with baby, and being taken care of.

Lisa’s mom moved in with her for 30 days to help support her and her new family. It was a transformative and beautiful experience for Lisa.

But as Lisa went back to work and started chatting to them about what their postpartum experiences were like, it was a stark difference to her peaceful confinement. According to Lisa, most mothers are treated so poorly in their postpartum period, going back to work as soon as just a couple of weeks after birth.

Learning more about how many mothers struggle so hard postpartum inspired Lisa to start the Fourth Trimester Summit.

As moms, we sometimes walk blindly into our own fourth trimester (the three months after giving birth) with no idea how intense or difficult it can be. The Fourth Trimester Summit is a resource for moms to learn how mothers can have a healthier and happier postpartum.

The importance of building a new community for moms.

We used to have safety nets at moms. There was a village, there was a community for us to lean into during the most vulnerable points of time, like the fourth trimester, and now that is seriously lacking.

Lisa believes the norm nowadays of living in a nuclear family, just parents and children is actually bordering on toxic. Not having that broader support of extended family and community can be quite harmful to all members of the family.

The more we can create community through projects like the Fourth Trimester Summit, the more we can start to combat the isolation that we’ve created by embracing nuclear families, and help moms thrive during and after the fourth trimester.

Lisa and I talk more about the fourth trimester, all about motherhood, shame, and how we can all grow as moms and a community in this episode of the MomUp Show.

fourth trimester

More about Lisa:

Lisa Chin is a multi-passionate mother fervently following her inspirations and curiosities. While jumping from one project to another appears random, she has learned that she can’t ignore what her soul is called to create. Motherhood has been the secret sauce that unites her creative work giving her greater purpose as a woman, coach and citizen of this world.

When she is not wrangling spreadsheets or her kids, she can be found writing for her blog, Lisa for Real, where she explores and shares her thoughts on motherhood, fulfilling our purpose and lessons in self-awareness. She is also the founder and host of the Fourth Trimester Summit featuring over 40 sessions for new mamas on how to heal the body and mind, nurture our babies and build our village in the first three months after birth. Join her newsletter to learn what else she is brewing up next.

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