8 Reasons to Love Your Body Postpartum

8 Reasons to Love Your Body Postpartum

It might be hard to even feel comfortable in your body, let alone love your body, when you’ve had kids.

I remember being afraid to even touch my vagina for a while after my births because I was worried about what I would find, let alone how I cringed at my stretch marks and extra skin. But over time, I did learn to love my body.

Here are eight reasons to embrace and love your body postpartum, even if you don’t have that lovin’ feeling right now

It created, grew, and birthed your babies

Let’s get the obvious one out of the way first, ok?

We know our bodies created our babies, was there home for around nine months, and then gave birth to them… but how often do you really think about how much of a miracle that is?

So often we are caught up in getting our pre-baby bodies back, as if we somehow misplaced it, that we don’t properly honor the magic created.

The next time you feel a little down on yourself and the way your body looks or feels now, take a minute to just let it sink in how amazing you and your body really are for what you went through.

Your postpartum body is the perfect comfort for your babies (or older children too!)

Squishy postpartum bodies are the best places to nap and cuddle according to every baby I’ve ever surveyed.

And even if you’re skinny, your baby knows your smell. The feel of your skin. The way you move.

Your body didn’t stop being home to them the second they popped out of the womb. It is still home to them.

It’s sexy AF

The results are in, and even though WE might be super self-conscious about our postpartum bodies, our partners LOVE them.

As a bit of anecdotal evidence, I asked my husband what he thinks about my body since having kids and he simply replied: “It’s fucking hot.”

It’s not just him either, though I do think he’s *quite* special in his own way, he is absolutely not on this one. Pretty much all dudes surveyed said the still find their wives super hot, and many even more than before!

Your body is a walking history of your growth as a person

I can still look at my knee and see the scar from a bike accident I had in middle school.

I don’t judge myself for that mark of perfect imperfection that carries with it memories of times otherwise forgotten. So why would I judge myself for some extra squishiness and stretch marks from having babies? Certainly having kids is a much more rewarding piece of my history than a silly bike mishap.

Our body carries our history. The transformation that has taken place in our body is just a physical manifestation of the deeper transformations that happened to our souls when we became moms.

It’s the only one you get

Just go ahead and love your body because the truth is, it’s the only one you get.

No matter how you feel about the way your body functions or looks now, there isn’t some standby waiting in the wings. You can trade this body in. Even with plastic surgery, there are limits to how much you can change your body.

This isn’t to say you can’t make changes to it, or that it’s wrong to desire to look differently. We all wish we could change something about ourselves. We aren’t perfect. No one is.

But I’d suggest figuring out how to make peace and love your body because it’s what you have. The other option is to live the rest of your life hating yourself.

Sex is better after having kids

Yeah it’s true you might not feel like having sex for a while after having a baby, and most couples have less sex after kids… but the sex you DO have is awesome.

Hard to believe, but most people surveyed said sex was just as good or even better after having kids.

I was surprised to find that this is true in my life too! Maybe it’s because having less sex makes you appreciate what you DO have, but it definitely improves.

Superhuman mom strength

Mom muscles are legit.

Lifting those babies and kids around all day means that you start to get really strong.

I don’t work out on a regular basis, but I’m in better shape than I was in my 20’s! Mostly it’s just from chasing after these wildlings and carrying them around from dawn to dusk and sometimes all damn night too.

It’s so normal to feel uncomfortable with your new postpartum body whether it’s been hours or years since you gave birth. But it is possible to love your body after having babies, and I hope these are great reminders on why.

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This is What an Overwhelmed Mom Looks Like

This is What an Overwhelmed Mom Looks Like

I snapped this photo to remember this moment when I realized I was totally an overwhelmed mom, and even if I was #blessed, life was also really really hard.

I was a little over 24 hours into being a mom of three, and I was already an overwhelmed mom.

After a long long long labor, I gave birth to twins, and within a day brought them home to my 2-year-old daughter.

I had no idea WITAF I was doing.

I’d like to say that being a completely overwhelmed mom was due to the fact that I had twins, but to be honest, I was just as overwhelmed when I brought my first home from the hospital too.

No matter how seasoned, or new, of a mom you are, whenever you bring new life into this world, your life changes too.

With that change comes not just an emotional overwhelm, either from the postpartum hormones or just all the feels, but also a feeling of intense overwhelm trying to figure out how to make all the things work together now.

When you have kids, a lot of what keeps the peace in the home and your sanity is your routines.

There are periods of upheaval and difficulty, like illness or teething, but for the most part, you fall into patterns that help everyone stay on a somewhat even keel.

Nothing messes up a routine like a new baby and makes you feel more overwhelmed.

New babies have routines and minds all of their own.

In those first few days and weeks of being a new mom, or becoming a mom again with a new baby, you can easily become an overwhelmed mom trying to get to know this new little one.

There is not one single cure for the overwhelmed mom.

At some point, all of us will become frazzled and pushed to our limits, and for different reasons.

Sometimes it’s a new baby. Sometimes it’s a baby becoming a toddler. Sometimes it’s a threenager. Sometimes it’s not even the kids, but our partner stressing us out.

But eventually, you realize you’re hardcore on that strugglebus and need to get off fast.

If there is one panacea for being overwhelmed it is this… admitting it.

How often do you see other moms on Instagram, at Target, at the bus stop, at your kid’s ballet class, or maybe at the park and think that they have it all together? They’re really nailing this whole mom thing.

The truth is, they probably look at you and think the same thing.

We have been trained not to bother others with our needs or our feelings. We have been trained to act like we have it all together and aren’t overwhelmed moms when we don’t. We’ve been trained to pretend we aren’t overwhelmed when we are drowning.

The idea that we might be feeling overwhelmed by motherhood, even just for a day, even just for an hour, is full of so much shame for most of us, we can’t even admit it.

I have no problem divulging my feelings here on this very public blog post, but when it comes to “real” life, ya know like in-person real life with friends and people I know, I clam up.

It’s oddly easier to share with a big group of people than to share with an individual.

Last weekend my daughter had her first ballet recital. I was a little worried she might freeze up because she was being shy about practicing her routine in front of people.

But when she walked on that stage, she beamed! She hit every mark and totally rocked it, even though she’s only 5!

See, when you perform or share for a big group, even when you are being “vulnerable” there is a mask that is up. There is still some separation. You can’t be truly intimate with too many people at a time.

And this happens in social media too. We share memes that joke about how tired we are because it’s easier to turn it into a joke.

But what if you were able to just open up to one person about how overwhelmed you really were? Or maybe even just admit it to yourself?

A lot of times acknowledging that my life is a shitshow and I don’t know what I’m doing helps me get a bit recentered.

Admitting my low point helps me start figuring out how to get back on track, and when I admit it to someone else there are a couple things that happen.

The first is I realize that even though we are all adults, we still all kind of feel like we are kids who don’t know WTF is going on…

The second is we realize that we *might* have been catastrophizing things in our head. Making a mountain out of a molehill. Shaming ourselves to the nth degree instead when things are that bad.

Of course, the pressures of motherhood are huge, and yes we do get overwhelmed. But when you bring yourself back to reality, you realize that the overwhelming might be all in your head because you try to do it all at once.

Maybe you can just focus on the next thing you can do right now?

What do you think, mama? What helps you when you’re feeling like a totally overwhelmed mom? Share in the comments below!

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How to Feel Sexy Again After Having Babies

How to Feel Sexy Again After Having Babies

In a bit of a rut and wanting to figure out how to feel sexy again after having babies? Let’s talk about how to reconnect with your body and soul to feel sexy ASAP.

It’s totally normal to have a sex slump after kids. I mean, if you gave birth, there’s a period of time afterwards when it’s literally not safe or recommended to feel safe. Add in cluster feeding, a new body, exhaustion, overwhelm and more and it’s easy to understand why you have to relearn how to feel sexy.

These are the best ways that I’ve been able to bring my own sexy back postpartum, and they can help you learn how to be sexy again too.

 

Track your cycle

 

For most of my life, I was lucky if I jotted down in a notebook or calendar when I got my period. Each month was kind of a guessing game for me when my period would make its appearance.

It wasn’t until I starting trying to conceive that I first starting paying attention to what my body did every month.

As I started noting the different phases of my cycle each month, I was able to find a correlation between different phases of my cycle and how felt. Including when I felt extra sexy, and well… horny.

It’s no surprise that during ovulation is a time when many women will feel more inclined to get it on. I mean, it’s the one time of the month when our bodies are able to conceive. So it is basic math to put 2+2 together and realize the hormones happening in our body during ovulation encourage us to have sex.

But beyond ovulation, if you begin to track your cycle and how you are feeling at different phases, you’ll notice trends.

If you can figure out when you are usually feeling the sexiest, you can shoot for those times as date nights or late nights with your partner. How to feel sexy can be as simple as syncing up your clock.

 

Spend more time naked

 

Becoming a mom, birthing a child, means your body goes through a lot of huge changes. Even if you lose the baby weight or your postpartum belly, you probably aren’t looking or feeling exactly the same since acquiring a mombod.

Even the most confident women can feel a little shaky about getting naked and being intimate with someone at first after having a baby. You might find your postpartum body beautiful and sexy, but it might still take some time to just feel like it’s yours.

Change is hard sometimes, and when something as close to us as our body changes, it can derail our sexy vibes a bit.

So start finding ways to get more comfortable with your body, namely, be naked more.

How can you spend more time feeling what it feels like to be naked in this new mombod? Can you check yourself out in the mirror a little longer after a shower? Or take long baths instead of showers?

The point is to try to be alone with yourself without the comfort of clothing until you feel good, and that confidence can help you feel more at home in your skin.

A newfound sense of comfort in your body can easily teach you how to feel sexy again.

 

Practice self-care

It’s a lot easier to feel sexy when not only is your body well cared for, but you’re emotionally cared for too.

What do you need to feel your best?

Exercise? Lots of green smoothies? A walk outside in nature? A hot bath? A nap? A good cry?

Take care of your own basic needs and your cup will be full.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m tired and overwhelmed, sex is usually the first thing to fall to wayside. I’m just too tired!

And when it comes to self-care, this also means taking care of your physical appearance.

I am not saying you need to do anything special to be presentable enough to get it on. Rather, what can you do to your physical appearance to make yourself feel hot and attractive? The question of how to feel sexy might be as simple as some extra indulgent moisturizer.

Like, I am all about women choosing not to shave their legs or armpits, and I forgo shaving many times. But I also feel sexier when my legs are smooth and armpits hair-free. When I really want to inject some extra oomph, I get a Brazilian wax too.

Remember, this isn’t about you fulfilling some random beauty standard. It’s about you doing what feels good for you.

Pleasure yourself

And speaking of doing what feels good for you… how about you spend a little time getting reacquainted with yourself and what pleases you.

After having babies, I usually go through a phase when even if I do feel like having orgasms (self-induced or otherwise), I’m in the thick of new motherhood and just don’t have the will or energy.

In my opinion, the first place to start when reestablishing your passions is to start alone. Remind yourself of how awesome orgasms are. Wanna know how to feel sexy again? Start by learning from your own pleasure.

Reconnect emotionally

Ever feel like you and your partner are two ships passing in the night vs. lovers?

Same here.

When you have little kids, it is easy to get stuck in a rut of just co-parenting instead of romance.

So start reconnecting. It’s easier to feel like hopping back in the sack when you are feeling attracted to and comfortable with the person you plan to get busy with.

After my husband and I implemented a weekly date night, our sex life picked up tremendously. This is one of those simple recommendations that is almost a cliche at this point, but the importance of a date night can’t be overstated!

Reclaim the intimacy with your partner, and start to feel that head between you too.

Ultimately, how to feel sexy again is about reconnecting with yourself and your relationships. It might take time, so be gentle with yourself and most of… enjoy.

Cluster Feeding Tips to Survive Your Newborn Feeding Every Hour

Cluster Feeding Tips to Survive Your Newborn Feeding Every Hour

Want more breastfeeding tips? Find us on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.facebookinstagrampinterest Got a stage 5 clinger who won't let go of your boob? Like your nipple feels like it's now permanently attached to your little squish? You've got a cluster feeder....

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Fourth Trimester: How One Mom Helps New Moms Thrive Postpartum

Fourth Trimester: How One Mom Helps New Moms Thrive Postpartum

There are so many ways in which modern society does not fully support new moms, especially during postpartum. So one mom decided to do something about it.

When Lisa Chin began her journey of entrepreneurship, she thought about what she would pursue even if she didn’t make any money. Her choice? Creating a summit on postpartum for moms called the Fourth Trimester Summit.

The passion Lisa had for sharing as much information as possible for new moms spawned from her own experience as a new mom and comparing her postpartum experience to other moms.

After having a natural breech birth, Lisa made the transition to motherhood with the traditional Chinese postpartum ritual of Confinement.

Confinement is when a mother spends 30 days after giving birth relaxing in pj’s, bonding with baby, and being taken care of.

Lisa’s mom moved in with her for 30 days to help support her and her new family. It was a transformative and beautiful experience for Lisa.

But as Lisa went back to work and started chatting to them about what their postpartum experiences were like, it was a stark difference to her peaceful confinement. According to Lisa, most mothers are treated so poorly in their postpartum period, going back to work as soon as just a couple of weeks after birth.

Learning more about how many mothers struggle so hard postpartum inspired Lisa to start the Fourth Trimester Summit.

As moms, we sometimes walk blindly into our own fourth trimester (the three months after giving birth) with no idea how intense or difficult it can be. The Fourth Trimester Summit is a resource for moms to learn how mothers can have a healthier and happier postpartum.

The importance of building a new community for moms.

We used to have safety nets at moms. There was a village, there was a community for us to lean into during the most vulnerable points of time, like the fourth trimester, and now that is seriously lacking.

Lisa believes the norm nowadays of living in a nuclear family, just parents and children is actually bordering on toxic. Not having that broader support of extended family and community can be quite harmful to all members of the family.

The more we can create community through projects like the Fourth Trimester Summit, the more we can start to combat the isolation that we’ve created by embracing nuclear families, and help moms thrive during and after the fourth trimester.

Lisa and I talk more about the fourth trimester, all about motherhood, shame, and how we can all grow as moms and a community in this episode of the MomUp Show.

fourth trimester

More about Lisa:

Lisa Chin is a multi-passionate mother fervently following her inspirations and curiosities. While jumping from one project to another appears random, she has learned that she can’t ignore what her soul is called to create. Motherhood has been the secret sauce that unites her creative work giving her greater purpose as a woman, coach and citizen of this world.

When she is not wrangling spreadsheets or her kids, she can be found writing for her blog, Lisa for Real, where she explores and shares her thoughts on motherhood, fulfilling our purpose and lessons in self-awareness. She is also the founder and host of the Fourth Trimester Summit featuring over 40 sessions for new mamas on how to heal the body and mind, nurture our babies and build our village in the first three months after birth. Join her newsletter to learn what else she is brewing up next.

Cluster Feeding Tips to Survive Your Newborn Feeding Every Hour

Cluster Feeding Tips to Survive Your Newborn Feeding Every Hour

Want more breastfeeding tips? Find us on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.facebookinstagrampinterest Got a stage 5 clinger who won't let go of your boob? Like your nipple feels like it's now permanently attached to your little squish? You've got a cluster feeder....

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