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Sex After Kids: Tips to Get Your Freak on More

Sex After Kids: Tips to Get Your Freak on More

s witHaving sex after kids can be a little tricky, and many people find that they are just not getting it in like they used to.

Healing postpartum, busy schedules, the sheer exhaustion of having kids, and more can all lead to parents having just about zero sex after kids.

While sex isn’t the only thing that makes a marriage work, it does help keep a relationship tight. We all go through sex slumps, and that’s fine, but sometimes leads to a slump in the relationship as well because we forget to prioritize bonding time.

Sex is one of the ways that couples cement the relationship and continue to build trust with each other. Not to mention it is super fun!

So let’s brainstorm some ways on how to have more sex after kids.

Start sexting for more intimacy in your marriage

Sometimes the last thing you feel like doing after a long day of work or a long day chasing kids around is gettin’ busy with your significant other. But you can inject some heat into the relationship by sending sexy texts throughout the day. 

If you are new to sexting it might feel awkward at first, but eventually, you figure out what works for you and your partner to really amp up the vibes in your sex life. When you’re trying to have sex after kids, sometimes a little virtual sex will have to do.

This is also awesome when you might not literally be able to have sex. Maybe you are away from each other for work, or you’re still not healed from birth, but want to start building that intimate connection again. Sexting is the way to go!

Have sex in creative locations to avoid the kids

I bedshare so our nice comfy king-sized bed is off limits for sex because at least one child is occupying it. Instead we do it in the guest room, bathroom, kitchen, hallway. Wherever we can grab some quick alone time, even the playroom sometimes! 

One of the biggest reasons many people are super hesitant to share sleep with their kids is an antiquated notion that it will ruin your sex life. This always makes me scratch my head a little bit, beds are not the only place you can get it on.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your partner to have sex too soon

In many ways, my sex life with my husband has been the best it’s ever been since having kids. We are on a streak of having sex nearly every day for an entire month! Yeah… things have been quite steamy around here.

But it isn’t always like this. After having my twins I think we had sex like a handful of times that first year. There are a lot of reasons for this, but really a lot of came down to me not feeling ready.

If you push yourself to have sex when you don’t feel physically or emotionally ready, it is surely not going to be that enjoyable. Instead, focus on healing and tapping into your inner sex goddess on your own for a while. Then when you do reconnect in the bedroom, it’ll be way more orgasmic for you.

For more on relationships, sex, marriage, motherhood and more, find us on Instagram. (I mean what’s seriously hotter than your partner getting the kids down for a nap for you? Ya gotta give it up after that, right? jk… kind of.)

 

Add intimacy to the marriage in other ways besides just sex

If you are in a phase of not having much sex after kids, try to find other ways to keep the intimacy between you and your partner.

Find time to hold hands, kiss, hug and cuddle. You’ll start to feel closer to each other, and a lot of times sex will naturally follow from there.

The point is to start feeling more connected to your parter no you’ll feel more comfortable hopping back in the sack, and to keep the connection between you strong when sex isn’t on the table, or just isn’t happening as often.

One idea would be to learn their love language so you can show them your affection in the way they can best receive it. So maybe hugs don’t do it for them, but doing the dishes for them does.

Schedule sex dates

This doesn’t sound too romantic, but it works! While my husband and I do have sex spontaneously sometimes, we also have a sex routine.

First, we have a weekly date night scheduled on the calendar where we go get dinner and drinks together, and that often leads to taking advantage of the tinted windows in our car to get a quicky (or two) in at the restaurant parking lot.

Then, we also have fallen into a routine that goes like this. The husband puts twins to bed while I write for the blog, then I take a shower, then our daughter goes to bed, and then it’s sex time. At this point it is just our routine that we do every almost every night.

Just like forming any habit, you can get into the habit of getting laid.

Dress the part

So it turns out that a lot of men actually love our yoga pants, mamas. Seriously, and not to be rude, but I’ve seen you mamas strutting around Target in those tights… they look hot!

But what are you wearing underneath?

I have to admit that I really just want to wear granny panties every damn day. I now have one style of panty I LOVE, and so I bought 10 pair of them all in black. They are NOT super sexy, but they do just kind of blend in, and aren’t UNsexy.

When it’s date night though, I do my best to whip out those few pre-baby lacey undies still floating around my drawers. It’s partly because it might look sexier to my husband, but it’s also because I FEEL sexier when I wear the sexy lingerie.

Pick something that makes you feel hot, and go with it.

It can feel a bit awkward at first if you are still getting used to your new mombod, and that’s ok. It might take time to embrace your new body, but you are still a sex goddess when you want to be, and if it helps you ease into feeling sexy again, treat yourself to something that feels hot and luxurious.

What are your ideas? Have any awesome tips for how to have more (and better) sex after kids? Share them in the comments! And if you’re still working on getting your sexy back postpartum, try these tips!

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5 Tips for How to Give Birth Naturally Without Pain

5 Tips for How to Give Birth Naturally Without Pain

Trying for a natural childbirth, and want to know how to give birth naturally without pain? It IS possible, mama. And these are the best ways to ease discomfort during birth.

 

Before we dive into specific natural childbirth techniques for relaxation and feeling more comfortable in birth, let’s talk about your mindset. The key for how to give birth naturally without pain is about starting with the proper preparation for your body and mind.

How do I prepare my body for natural birth?

Birth is beautiful and life-changing, but it is just as challenging, and it can also be downright scary.

One of the keys to successful natural childbirth without pain is to have confidence in yourself, your body, and the team you have chosen to support you in your birth. The more comfortable and confident you can be in these things, the more likely you will be able to find the physical and mental space needed to use these natural childbirth relaxation techniques.

And while I don’t think we should dwell on the pain or the fear of childbirth, it is also something that perhaps we should look at head on.

Instead of ignoring it, let any emotions that come with the idea of pain or childbirth bubble up to the surface so you can look at them and release them long before your birthing time comes. Most times when we lock our fears away instead of facing them, they just becoming scarier.

It’s also important to keep in mind that part of the reason a lot of women experience severe discomfort and pain in childbirth is their resistance to the process.

We’ve been conditioned by movies and pop culture depictions of birth to expect screaming and extreme pain. If I’m being honest, it isn’t exactly an easy process, but through having the right techniques you can learn to relax into the process which also makes it more comfortable. The more you resist and tighten your body up, the more painful it is.

(Not to be too explicit but…) Think about pooping or throwing up. If you strain and try to control the process too much, it isn’t very comfortable. But if you just let your body do its thing, it isn’t so bad and you usually feel so much better after.

Another point to keep in mind is not all of these techniques will work for everyone, and there is no way to know what will feel good to you until you are actually in your birthing time. Perhaps take a few notes and prep for as many eventualities as possible so you can have access to all that you need for an awesome birth.

(Side note: I am a mom of three, and am also currently in training to be a doula. These recommendations are based on a mix of personal experience and research. I also recommend some products that I am an affiliate for, which means I get a small commission at no extra cost to you if you purchase through my link. Of course, you should always check with your doctor or midwife.)

Plan on a water birth for pain relief if possible.

Even when you aren’t pushing a tiny human out of your vagina, water is so relaxing. There’s a reason us moms love to include bubble baths on our lists of self-care practice musts-do’s.

There’s something soothing, not just physically, but also emotionally to being submerged in some comfy warm water. It’s like we ourselves are back inside the womb and in a safe space.

This doesn’t necessarily mean a tub though. Not all birthing spaces have tubs available. Warm washcloths or compresses on the lower back and even warm showers can be just as comforting and relaxing as a full on bath. (And don’t forget to drink water as needed to stay hydrated too!)

Hypnosis and/or meditation for relaxation during birth.

Our mind is incredibly powerful. If we are able to relax our mind, our body will follow.

I have personally used Hypnobabies to relax and be pretty comfortable and at ease for most of the duration of my births. I even credit Hypnobabies with helping me to have an epidural-free twin birth in a hospital, no small feat!

I can’t say that I had absolutely no pain, but the techniques I learned and the hypnosis tracks I was able to listen to kept me relaxed enough to go with the flow and manage what my body was going through with a fair amount of ease, considering the circumstances.

Have a mantra for a natural birth.

“When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me…” That first line of Let it Be from the Beatles replayed over and over and over again in my mind while I was at about 8-9cm with my twins.

During every contraction, it would float through my brain as a kind of mantra. I felt the presence of other moms who had given birth before me and were even giving birth at that moment.

I didn’t plan on this, it just came to me in the moment, but I think having a mantra or something to focus on can be incredibly helpful! Many mamas even print out banners or photos with quotes or mantras on to focus on during contractions.

Use massage and counterpressure to ease discomfort during labor.

Having some hands-on help is amazing for both physical and emotional comfort. Some women may not want to be touched at all while birthing, but for me having some massage and strong pressure on my lower back was a lifesaver.

I had a lot of intensity in my back during both of my births, and the pressure from my mom, husband, and doulas during both births helped alleviate some of the pressure.

Get a doula and/or team for emotional support.

The most intense part of birth for many women is during transition just before they are ready to start pushing that little squishy baby out. It was in this period that I felt like maybe I couldn’t do it. Maybe it was just too hard for me.

A little thought in the back of my mind reminded me that in almost every birth story I read, the point at which you feel like you can’t do it anymore is the point at which you are almost there! But I also told my doula that I was feeling not so confident, and I was able to cry and just let it all out to her. Once I did, it eased my tension.

Don’t underestimate the value of a good cry. This is an emotional process and no one expects you to be robot! Remember, the key is to stay relaxed, and a big release of emotion can be super helpful, even necessary for how to give birth naturally without pain.

In addition to these five tips, you also want to set yourself up for success. This means researching more options, watching natural birth videos for inspiration, getting that birth plan done, and consider hiring a doula! (maybe even a postpartum doula too so you can rest easy knowing you’ll have some help)

The key to how to give birth naturally without pain though is to first and foremost believe in yourself and your body. If you are able to embrace the process and trust, then you are in the best place possible to give birth naturally without pain.

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What are the Best Skin Care Products for Breastfeeding Moms?

What are the Best Skin Care Products for Breastfeeding Moms?

You probably watched labels like a hawk for those nine months of pregnancy, making sure everything that went in or on your body was safe for the little one growing inside of you. But if you are breastfeeding, you will also want to keep an eye out for ingredients that aren’t safe for your nursling too. Let’s take a look at skin care products for breastfeeding moms.

Just a quick note that even if you are not breastfeeding, you might consider cleaning up your skincare routine. The ingredients in your skin care products may not be ingested by your baby via your milk, but I bet you are still kissing and touching your baby with your face countless times a day. What is in your skincare rubs off on them. So sticking with some clean skin care products for a while wouldn’t be a bad idea.

 

First, let’s take a look at ingredients that are safe and not safe to use while breastfeeding. But note that in many cases there have been no or very limited studies on whether certain ingredients are safe while breastfeeding.

This means that doctors are usually basing their recommendations off of information like whether a particular ingredient crosses from the skin, and into the blood. Then they consider what similar medications do when they pass into the blood and are then consumed by babies through breastmilk.

In some cases doctors are able to say that an ingredient is very likely to be safe but they are not 100% sure, and in some they can conclude that it is probable not safe but check with your own doctor. This makes it a bit murky when determing the best skincare products for breastfeeding moms.

The bottom line is that you should always check back with your own doctor/midwife and pediatrician, plus do your own research if you are concerned. A great place to check the safety of any medication or treatment is usually called Lactmed. It’s a website database of how various drugs and chemicals interact with breastmilk and the effects on babies.

Most of the information in this article is sourced from Lactmed, which is considered the standard for such information by many breastfeeding advocates and lactation consultants.

 Retinoids, Retin-A (Tretinoin) and Retinol

There is a whole subset of skin care ingredients considered “retinoids.” These range from Retin-A and Retinol to Tazarotene, and the verdict on whether they are safe or not as a whole is still out for the most part.

Below we discuss some individual ingredients and what experts say, but overall the safest route seems to be to avoid retinoids if possible. While they may not enter the breastmilk when used topically, you probably don’t want them rubbing off on baby.

According to WebMD, Retin-A is mostly used as an anti-acne medication that is applied topically. It is recommended to never use it during pregnancy, and that it is unknown whether it actually crosses into breastmilk.

However, Dr. Jay Gordon answered this question on his website by stating that the oral version of Retin-A definitely crosses into your milk when ingested, but that the topical version is safe to use while breastfeeding.

Lactmed states that it is generally considered safe for topical use as it likely doesn’t cross into the blood in significant enough amounts to matter, but does note that “A review of adverse reaction reports on retinoids causing a breast reaction submitted to a French pharmacovigilance center found 1 case of gynecomastia was associated with topical tretinoin use.”

Retinol, which is used more for anti-aging, falls under the same family as Retin-A, though Retin-A is prescription and Retinol is OTC.

There is the same mixed advice when it comes to Retinol as Retin-A. While many consider it compatible with breastfeeding, many also say “why risk it?” Like this Miami Herald article.

 

Salicylic acid

This is another topical acne treatment, and it is generally considered to be safe while breastfeeding.

While there is not much info on topical use of salicylic acid and breastfeeding, there is probably not much being absorbed by the skin. It is likely not much of the chemical is actually able to enter the bloodstream through the skin, posing little risk to breastfeeding babies.

It is noted that you will want to take care with allowing babies/toddlers to touch or lick areas where you use salicylic acid.

Fragrances, Parabens, and Phthalates

The first on this part of the list, fragrances, refers to a wide range of ingredients that are used to basically make skin care products smell good. The problem with this is they are not required to individually list out many of the ingredients that are used as “fragrance.” At least in the US you really don’t know what is included under that one single word on the label.

Beyond any health concerns though, strong scents can be detrimental to breastfeeding because babies, especially newborns, use scent to help latch, nurse effectively and feel safe. So strong smells could inhibit those instincts. Plus who wants fragrance overpowering that newborn or baby scent?

Now to Phthalates and Parabens…

These chemicals are found all over the place in anything from shampoo and hand soap to your skin care. Studies have shown that they can also be found in your breastmilk.

Phthalates are dissovling agents and parabens are a preservative used to stave off mold and bacteria. Both have been linked to disrupting hormones, and it is theorized that they might effect the healthy development of babies who are exposed to them by disrupting hormone production.

While you might want to consider cutting these out of your regimen for your own good, the fact that they show up in breastmilk is just another reason to rethink using products that contain these chemicals.

It is easier than ever to access quality (and affordable) products that don’t include parabens or phthalates. Just be sure the label specifically does not include them and isn’t just called a “natural” product.

 

Examples of Clean Skin Care Products

Just a note that you should always check labels yourself to ensure they are safe because even if these products currently appear clean and safe, ingredients change all the time, and research on the safety of different products changes. But these are some of our fav skin care products for breastfeeding moms that are must-have’s for our self-care routine.

 

Clarisonic Mia Prima is awesome for getting your skin squeaky clean without any harsh chemicals. The sonic vibrations help stimulate the skin for clearer and younger more vibrant looking skin without resorting to any of the normal acne or anti-aging chemicals.

Pacifica Rose Kombucha doesn’t contain any harsh chemicals including parabens or phthalates, it smells awesome without being overpowering, and it’s a great cleanser at a decent price. We love using it with a Clarisonic for a deep clean.

Help those tired mama under-eyes with this chemical-free and natural Biossance Squalane + Peptide Eye Gel. An awesome splurge to smooth out any fine lines that are bugging you.

Want glowing skin that looks years younger after just a couple weeks of use? This is your jam then. If your skin is just… a little dull and needs a pick-me-up, try Herbivore Botanicals – Natural PRISM Exfoliating Glow Potion.

You know that dewy, hydrated and super youthful look you see on a lot of 20-something’s skin lately? Youth To The People Superberry Hydrate and Glow Oil has helped the writer of this article (who is in her 30’s) get that look. It’s magic and feels so good on the skin. It is oil and not cream, so it takes getting used to for those who are not accustomed to it but works great on combination skin.

As always, do your research and find skin care products for breastfeeding moms that you feel comfortable and safe with. Ingredients change, information and research changes, but this is a good start for what to look for and avoid in your skin care products while breastfeeding.

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Have you seen this meme? It’s a glowing Meghan Markle with Prince Harry and the newest royal baby, Archie on one side. On the other side, is a typical family at the hospital after a birth, with mom rockin’ some of our fav mesh panties.

 

There is no doubt that Meghan or Kate receive VIP treatment during pregnancy, birth and postpartum that many of us would dream of, but one thing about this picture made me smile and another made me laugh. (Plus this meme is actually hilarious btw…)

First of all, let’s talk about how Meghan is not hiding her postpartum baby bump. If anything, her dress seems to be emphasizing the bump. I LOVE this. It’s so weird and disconcerting when upon having your first baby you realize that your belly doesn’t just magically flatten out once the baby is out!

It takes time for your uterus to shrink, plus swelling, extra pounds, and general squishiness mean that you’re going to still look pregnant for a hot minute after giving birth. Meghan clearly is not trying to hide this fact, and I love that!

My second thought was, there is no way she is NOT wearing some form of mesh underwear under that white dress. (Seriously how big are her lady balls to wear a white dress after just giving birth? I had great births, but for days and even weeks after the amount of lochia was so intense.)

So the truth I believe is that no matter what shiny presentation of Meghan, her new baby and prince we see out here in the rest of the world… behind closed doors, their life probably looks fairly similar to the photo on the right.

Though what I mentioned above is a reality. The postpartum care they receive is in a different league than what most of us receive. (Though pressure to snack back into pre-pregnancy shape is probably greater too.)

I’m really interested to see how Meghan handles her entire postpartum experience. These royal women have an opportunity to set the tone for how we talk about and approach ourselves and our bodies postpartum.

How will she use her place of power to help women who may not have the access to the care she does? How will she use her influence to help women accept their postpartum bodies? Or will she whip her body back into it’s previous shape ASAP with the help well paid experts?

What do you think? Share with me over on Facebook or Instagram.

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28 Best Mom Hacks that Real Moms Swear By

The BEST resource for learning how to totally rock momlife is the wisdom other moms learned in the school of hard knocks. So we are sharing 28 best mom hacks that real moms swear by and shared on our Facebook page. Honestly, some of the tips and incredible mom hacks...

Cluster Feeding Tips to Survive Your Newborn Feeding Every Hour

Cluster Feeding Tips to Survive Your Newborn Feeding Every Hour

Want more breastfeeding tips? Find us on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.facebookinstagrampinterest Got a stage 5 clinger who won't let go of your boob? Like your nipple feels like it's now permanently attached to your little squish? You've got a cluster feeder....

What Kind of Pregnancy Test Should I Buy?

What Kind of Pregnancy Test Should I Buy?

Think you're pregnant or trying to conceive? You're probably wondering what kind of pregnancy test should I buy? These 5 questions will help you choose which is best for you, and we'll give you our pick for the best one. So you can answer the question for yourself on...

Paced Feeding Your Breastfed Baby

Paced Feeding Your Breastfed Baby

Want to give your breastfed baby a bottle, but worried about them starting to prefer the bottle over breast? Paced feeding is a great way to initiate bottle feeding, and I'll share how and why I chose paced feeding with my breastfed babies. I've breastfed for over 6...

3 First Month Pregnancy Tips to Start Off on a Good Foot

3 First Month Pregnancy Tips to Start Off on a Good Foot

Just found out your pregnant, or maybe wondering if you are? These first month pregnancy tips will help you get started. The first few weeks of pregnancy can be stressful and also blissful. These are three tips to help you get started at the very beginning, and I've...

Our 10 Most Viewed Posts of 2019

Our 10 Most Viewed Posts of 2019

Another year over, and a new one about to begin. As I write this it is 8:21pm on December 31, 2019. We are about to start a new decade. Like so many others, we are taking a minute to look back first. These are our top 10 viewed posts of 2019 here at Mom Uprising. They...

Perfect IG Posts for Self-Care Inspiration

Perfect IG Posts for Self-Care Inspiration

Tired? Stressed? Ready to let it all go and start putting yourself first? Let's do it, mama. Get started with these 10 self-care inspiration posts we totally love. It's easy to get stuck in a rut, and sometimes just a simple image can break you out of your stickiness...

The Best Way to Breastfeed Twins

The Best Way to Breastfeed Twins

Expecting twins and want to tandem breastfeed? There are so many questions, right? Like what are the logistics? What is the best way to breastfeed twins? I got you. Keep reading to find out how I made it work. Breastfeeding one baby can be an awkward learning curve,...

6 Self-Care Blogs Moms Should Follow

6 Self-Care Blogs Moms Should Follow

In a bit of a self-care rut and need some inspo? These 6 self-care blogs will give you a little push to get yourself back into some super helpful self-care practices that work for you. I thought my self-care game was on point, but just perusing through these blogs I...

Breastfeeding Newborn Tips to Make Breastfeeding Easier

Breastfeeding Newborn Tips to Make Breastfeeding Easier

Planning to breastfeed? It can be tough, mama. But you're tough too. These newborn breastfeeding tips are what I found helped me the most in my 6+ years of breastfeeding. When you're just starting to breastfeed with your newborn, whether this is your first or tenth...

5 Tips for Surviving the First Trimester of Pregnancy

5 Tips for Surviving the First Trimester of Pregnancy

Just find out you're pregnant? Congrats mama! Did those pregnancy symptoms start already, and you're trying to learn about surviving the first trimester? We've got you covered with these 5 essential tips. The first trimester is notoriously difficult between the...

5 Steps to a Self-Care Plan for Busy Moms

5 Steps to a Self-Care Plan for Busy Moms

Blaaah... another self-care article? YES MAMA. Because I know you aren’t taking care of yourself as well as you could, and the reason is that you don’t have a self-care plan! Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated, cost a lot of money, or require a babysitter. If...

First Time Breastfeeding Tips to Establish Nursing ASAP

First Time Breastfeeding Tips to Establish Nursing ASAP

First Time Breastfeeding Tips #1: Shoot for a Natural Birth (or Few Interventions) Interventions during birth can have a negative impact on establishing a breastfeeding relationship, and increased interventions have been shown to lead to moms breastfeeding for shorter...

5 Early Pregnancy Tips for the First Weeks of Pregnancy

5 Early Pregnancy Tips for the First Weeks of Pregnancy

Just find out you're pregnant and not know WTF to do next? Yeah, most of us felt like that. But we've got you, soon-to-be mama. These early pregnancy tips will help you get through the early weeks of pregnancy with a little less stress. Those early weeks of pregnancy...

Why is a Self-Care Checklist a Gamechanger for Moms?

Why is a Self-Care Checklist a Gamechanger for Moms?

Still putting yourself last? Taking care of everyone else's needs before your own? Time to change that by making yourself a self-care checklist. After always forgetting to take care of my own very basic needs, I decided I need to get super practical about my...

8 Nipple-Saving Breastfeeding Tips for Pain

8 Nipple-Saving Breastfeeding Tips for Pain

Ouch! All those serene photos of mothers and babies lovingly staring into each others' eyes didn't prepare you for this! But it's ok mama. These breastfeeding tips for pain will help your nips feel better soon, so you can enjoy your breastfeeding journey. I've been...

Be a Brave Mom and Healing as Your Grow

Be a Brave Mom and Healing as Your Grow

If there is one thing that is required to be a great mom, it's courage. Bravery. We don't talk about how moms are incredible courageous beings, but on this episode of the MomUp Show, I got to chat with Laura DiFranco, author of Brave Healing: a Guide for Your Journey,...

Mother’s Quest: Navigating the Journey of Motherhood

Mother’s Quest: Navigating the Journey of Motherhood

Living an epic life is the framework and mission behind Mother's Quest, a podcast by Julie Neale, focusing on intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring moms. She joined me on the MomUp Show to chat about how moms can navigate the journey through...

5 Indoor Winter Activities for Kids

5 Indoor Winter Activities for Kids

Cabin fever is brutal during the winter, but having some super fun indoor winter activities for kids on standby can help a mom out in a pinch. I literally just spent this entire day feeling like I was losing my damn mind. I had kids crying, whining, watching too much...

Cabin Fever and Motherhood: Emotional Self-Care in Winter

Cabin Fever and Motherhood: Emotional Self-Care in Winter

Winter blues and cabin fever have always been tough for me. But this year, practicing a little emotional self-care has made a huge difference.   From the first days of fall, I have been prepping for right now with my emotional self-care routines. The countdown on...

8 Self-Care Articles Moms Need to Read

8 Self-Care Articles Moms Need to Read

Yeah, we know self-care is essential for moms, but most of us are still slacking. That's why we're rounding up the best 8 self-care articles for moms to read ASAP. Some of these will give you some ideas on quick self-care practices, and some are just mom getting super...

8 Reasons to Love Your Body Postpartum

8 Reasons to Love Your Body Postpartum

It might be hard to even feel comfortable in your body, let alone love your body, when you've had kids. I remember being afraid to even touch my vagina for a while after my births because I was worried about what I would find, let alone how I cringed at my stretch...

Motherhood Almost Broke Me Today

Motherhood Almost Broke Me Today

I was angrily folding up the stroller and tossing it in the back of the car when I heard a baby start crying. He finally realized he didn’t have his airplane in his hands and it was a total catastrophe. But it wasn’t his little meltdown that had me on edge. It was my...

How I’m Getting to Know Myself Again with a Depth Year

How I’m Getting to Know Myself Again with a Depth Year

Resolutions, words of the year, goals. There are so many things to think about when planning your next year, but what about a depth year? What's a depth year anyway? I'm a stay-at-home mom. I am not in some fancy career, but I still am always focused on personal...

This is What an Overwhelmed Mom Looks Like

This is What an Overwhelmed Mom Looks Like

I snapped this photo to remember this moment when I realized I was totally an overwhelmed mom, and even if I was #blessed, life was also really really hard. I was a little over 24 hours into being a mom of three, and I was already an overwhelmed mom. After a long long...

How to Achieve Goals Even if You’re Overwhelmed

How to Achieve Goals Even if You’re Overwhelmed

Crushing your goals and completing resolutions is hard. There's a lot of reasons people fail all the time. But there are ways to set yourself up for success and learn how to achieve your goals even if you're already overwhelmed. I'm a mom of three kids five and under....

Being a Mom is Hard. It’s Not Just You.

Being a Mom is Hard. It’s Not Just You.

Today was one of those days when it all just hit me. Being a mom is hard, and sometimes it feels like you're failing. Like maybe you're just not a good mom. But it's not you. It's just that hard. A few months ago I was chatting with a new mom who on the outside seemed...

Do Twins Run in Families?

Do Twins Run in Families?

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…and Now I’m a Dance Mom (No One Warned Me How Intense it Is!)

…and Now I’m a Dance Mom (No One Warned Me How Intense it Is!)

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100 Word of the Year Ideas to Live Your Best MomLife

100 Word of the Year Ideas to Live Your Best MomLife

2019 is winding down, and preparations for 2020 are already underway for many. Instead of a resolution, have you thought about trying one of these word fo the year ideas? I love these 100 word of the year ideas you can use as a way to guide your intentions, goals,...

20 Mom Memes We Can Totally Relate To

20 Mom Memes We Can Totally Relate To

Sometimes you need some inspiration, and sometimes you need to laugh. These are mom memes we can all relate to whether they're funny, true, serious, or silly. I don't know about you, but on those tough when that I just need a little distraction from the chaos of...

15 Quotes for Following Your Dreams

15 Quotes for Following Your Dreams

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Stomach Bug? Try a Smoothie for Flu that’s Toddler Approved

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7 Fitness Tips for Moms to Reach Your Fitness Goals

7 Fitness Tips for Moms to Reach Your Fitness Goals

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What is Hygge, and Why Moms Need to Know About It

What is Hygge, and Why Moms Need to Know About It

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5 Steps to Forming Habits for Busy Moms

5 Steps to Forming Habits for Busy Moms

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5 Things I’ve Learned from 5 Years of Motherhood

5 Things I’ve Learned from 5 Years of Motherhood

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25 Christmas Bucket List Ideas for Moms

25 Christmas Bucket List Ideas for Moms

Need ideas for your Christmas bucket list? These are the 25 things I chose to add to ours this year, and am sharing to give you a bit of inspiration. But before we dive in... What is a Christmas bucket list? Simple. It's just a list of activities you want to do during...

Grateful vs. Thankful, What’s the Difference?

Grateful vs. Thankful, What’s the Difference?

As I sat down to think about all that I am grateful for on this Thanksgiving, I started to wonder, what's the difference in being grateful vs. thankful? Do you ever notice how we use some words interchangeably without really knowing if they mean the same thing? We...

Why Boys Need to See Frozen 2

Why Boys Need to See Frozen 2

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Dear Moms, Please Never Give Up On Your Dreams.

Dear Moms, Please Never Give Up On Your Dreams.

Feeling a little trapped in motherhood? Being a mom is the most rewarding role, but that doesn't mean we don't have an identity outside of our momlife. It's hard, but mama, never give up on your dreams, even when it seems impossible. Saying to never give up on your...

My Firstborn Turns 5 Tomorrow, and I Can’t Handle It

My Firstborn Turns 5 Tomorrow, and I Can’t Handle It

On November 24, 2014, at 6:54 am I became a mom for the first time. My daughter came into the world screaming with eyes so dark they were black and just a little bit of hair that would turn into the perfect ringlet curls. A fierce little girl who knows what she wants...

Can’t Sleep While Pregnant? Steal My Pregnant Sleep Routine.

Can’t Sleep While Pregnant? Steal My Pregnant Sleep Routine.

Pregnancy is NOT the most comfortable time in your life, and that can make it hard to fall asleep and stay asleep. It’s normal if you can’t sleep while pregnant, but there are some hacks you can try to catch a few more zzz’s. Of course, I'm not a medical professional....

Resilience for Kids. Why I’m Teaching My Kids How to Fail.

Resilience for Kids. Why I’m Teaching My Kids How to Fail.

The older I get, the more I believe the key to happiness and success is being willing to fail. This doesn't mean you have to seek out failure, but rather it's about learning how to fail in a way that propels you forward and helps you learn. I grew up a smart kid. I...

Steal These Gift Ideas. My Kids Christmas List This Year.

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Feeling overwhelmed with filling out your kids Christmas list this year? Use my list for my 2-year-olds and 5-year-old as inspiration Despite my best attempts to keep things to a minimum when writing my kids Christmas list, I went a little overboard with Christmas the...

Gratitude for Kids: Teaching Whiney Kids to Be Grateful

Gratitude for Kids: Teaching Whiney Kids to Be Grateful

Ever have one of those days when your 4-year-old whines and complains one too many times, and you think maybe you've totally failed and your kid is 100% spoiled? Me too. That's why I started diving into ways to teach gratitude for kids. Your little angel turning into...

How to Put Yourself First When You’re a Mom

How to Put Yourself First When You’re a Mom

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3 Simple Ways to Be a Mindful Mom

3 Simple Ways to Be a Mindful Mom

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6 Types of Self Care Moms Need to Know About

6 Types of Self Care Moms Need to Know About

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Is it Safe to Drink Alcohol While Breastfeeding?

Is it Safe to Drink Alcohol While Breastfeeding?

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3 Keys to Create a Daily Routine with Kids for Less Stress

3 Keys to Create a Daily Routine with Kids for Less Stress

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What Are STEM toys? The Coolest Gifts for Kids.

What Are STEM toys? The Coolest Gifts for Kids.

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They Grow Up So Fast: Learning to Go With the Flow in Motherhood

They Grow Up So Fast: Learning to Go With the Flow in Motherhood

They grow up so fast.” You hear it over and over again from experienced moms, maybe your own mom, aunt, grandmother… and inevitably when you talk to a brand new mom, you say the same thing to her. The time goes so fast, they grow up so fast. You wish there was something more you could say, but how? How can you put motherhood into words?

Change.

That is one thing you can count on as a mother.

Sometimes the change creeps up on you and tackles you from behind.

Sometimes you can feel it slowly setting in, like watching the leaves slowly change in the Fall.

But nothing is more transitory than the phases of motherhood… “they grow up so fast” ringing in your ears…

Starting from that first trimester when you fear the morning sickness will never end, to waiting for the baby’s grand arrival, to wondering if you’ll make it through birth, and then each phase of your child’s life that comes and goes. While you are IN it, you feel stuck in time. Like things will never change and life will be like that forever.

You simultaneously want time to speed up, but know when this stage is gone you’ll pine for it.

I counted down the days until those postpartum hormones settled, and I could feel more like a normal human… but then that newborn smell… it’s gone.

And I would give so much to nuzzle my daughter’s now long curly hair and be transported back to those frantic first days just to smell that smell again on her then mostly bald head.

Time pays no mind to our wishes though.

It marches on at it’s own pace.

A pace that doesn’t seem steady.

It crawls along and then speeds up. It’s punctuated by these memorable moments frozen in time in our memories, or in the cloud in our phone in the form of selfies and family photos.

But the relationship you have with time changes so much when you become a mother.

And more than anything, you realize your powerlessness.

While you might have partially realized how powerful you are in the birth of your child, and the strength it has taken to raise that human… there are still many things in this world we can’t stand against.

One of those things is time. 

Whether we are praying to just get through a few days to see that last tooth pop so we can sleep, or maybe it’s one of those days that you just completely feel the gratitude you have for your little family flooding through you… and you wish you could live in that day forever… we can’t make either desire happen. 

We are not in control.

In truth, motherhood feels like an exercise in surrender. 

Complete and utter surrender to nature, a Divine force, time. 

We have some power to create the life and circumstances we desire, but in most cases, the best we can do is just strap in and enjoy the ride. 

As much as we prepare, we can never be fully prepared for motherhood. Just like we can never be fully prepared for life. 

Like giving birth, we can research, take classes, write the most thorough birthplan possible, hire a doula, make our partner read all the books, and more. 

But when that birthday comes, we must be willing to go with the flow. To surrender to the process. To allow. To sink into a life changing, and sometimes life-ending, process that is one of the most joyous and terrifying a person can go through. 

How can any person be the same after facing that?

We can’t. 

But how do we actually surrender?

I am a type-a kind of person. I even plan our vacations down to the hour, putting down time and relaxation time in the schedule. (You can imagine how romantic that was during my honeymoon.)

My husband has been perfect for me in this specific aspect. He has helped me relax. To be present. To stop expecting perfection and the ability to control everything. 

Case in point. 

I always decorated my Christmas tree absolutely perfectly. You know, the bulbs spaced exactly apart with the colors judiciously placed throughout the tree. Any extras, like fake snow, was sprinkled precisely to create the perfect amount of coverage on every branch. 

This would not do for my husband. He said I took all the fun out of decorating a tree. 

He made me shove my whole hand in that bag of fake snow, get as much as I could fit in my fist, and then just throw it at the tree. Perfection be damned. 

I cried. 

That first explosion of snow that fell so NOT perfectly all over the branches was like a physical manifestation of my soul claiming just a little bit more freedom. 

Now I’m not knocking beautifully decorated trees. 

This is a metaphor for my entire life, and the lives of many many many mothers. 

We want to control so much because we love. We love so hard it hurts. 

We want to ensure our little beans are protected, safe, happy. We want what is best for them. 

But many of the biggest joys in life come from spontaneity and being present in the moment.

And in motherhood, we can’t plan for when they will take their first steps, or say “mama” for the first time. 

We don’t know the precise day and time that they will finally write their name in scribbly little kid writing. We can just take each day as it comes and enjoy what happens. 

We can’t fight time. We can’t stop it. We can’t speed it up. All we can do is embrace it.

The truth is that time is our best friend. 

Think about vampires. 

It’s a bit of a trope, right? That vampires are envious of the mortality of humans. The same could be said for other immortals, like the ancient Greco/Roman gods. 

While we do everything in our power to stay young as long as possible, the fact that we age, grow old, and eventually die is what makes us human. It is what makes us and our lives beautiful.

As much as it would be nice to hit the pause button on time now and then, it would take the preciousness out of life. 

The ephemeral nature of motherhood is a blessing and a curse. 

It makes each moment precious, and each time we miss a moment, have a bad day or wish for time to speed up prick our hearts even deeper.

So we are left with just being able to tell the new mom “they grow up so fast.” Because how else do we say all of this and more to them?

And the other moms who have been around the block? When we say “they grow up so fast,” they know that we are saying all of this and more with just five words.

How to Wean a Toddler from Breastfeeding

How to Wean a Toddler from Breastfeeding

You've been breastfeeding your toddler for what feels like foreeeever, and you're ready to wean. But how? In this post, I'll break down some tips for how to wean a toddler from breastfeeding. I've put in a combined roughly 94 months of breastfeeding so far between my...

The Best Outdoor Toys for 1-Year-Old

The Best Outdoor Toys for 1-Year-Old

Getting outside is so important for little ones to get fresh air and run off some energy, not to mention it’s great for mama too! This is our list of the best outdoor toys for 1-year-old that kids and moms both love.

What Kind of Pregnancy Test Should I Buy?

What Kind of Pregnancy Test Should I Buy?

Think you're pregnant or trying to conceive? You're probably wondering what kind of pregnancy test should I buy? These 5 questions will help you choose which is best for you, and we'll give you our pick for the best one. So you can answer the question for yourself on...

3 First Month Pregnancy Tips to Start Off on a Good Foot

3 First Month Pregnancy Tips to Start Off on a Good Foot

Just found out your pregnant, or maybe wondering if you are? These first month pregnancy tips will help you get started. The first few weeks of pregnancy can be stressful and also blissful. These are three tips to help you get started at the very beginning, and I've...

Our 10 Most Viewed Posts of 2019

Our 10 Most Viewed Posts of 2019

Another year over, and a new one about to begin. As I write this it is 8:21pm on December 31, 2019. We are about to start a new decade. Like so many others, we are taking a minute to look back first. These are our top 10 viewed posts of 2019 here at Mom Uprising. They...

The Best Way to Breastfeed Twins

The Best Way to Breastfeed Twins

Expecting twins and want to tandem breastfeed? There are so many questions, right? Like what are the logistics? What is the best way to breastfeed twins? I got you. Keep reading to find out how I made it work. Breastfeeding one baby can be an awkward learning curve,...

5 Tips for Surviving the First Trimester of Pregnancy

5 Tips for Surviving the First Trimester of Pregnancy

Just find out you're pregnant? Congrats mama! Did those pregnancy symptoms start already, and you're trying to learn about surviving the first trimester? We've got you covered with these 5 essential tips. The first trimester is notoriously difficult between the...

5 Early Pregnancy Tips for the First Weeks of Pregnancy

5 Early Pregnancy Tips for the First Weeks of Pregnancy

Just find out you're pregnant and not know WTF to do next? Yeah, most of us felt like that. But we've got you, soon-to-be mama. These early pregnancy tips will help you get through the early weeks of pregnancy with a little less stress. Those early weeks of pregnancy...

Mother’s Quest: Navigating the Journey of Motherhood

Mother’s Quest: Navigating the Journey of Motherhood

Living an epic life is the framework and mission behind Mother's Quest, a podcast by Julie Neale, focusing on intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring moms. She joined me on the MomUp Show to chat about how moms can navigate the journey through...

Motherhood Almost Broke Me Today

Motherhood Almost Broke Me Today

I was angrily folding up the stroller and tossing it in the back of the car when I heard a baby start crying. He finally realized he didn’t have his airplane in his hands and it was a total catastrophe. But it wasn’t his little meltdown that had me on edge. It was my...

This is What an Overwhelmed Mom Looks Like

This is What an Overwhelmed Mom Looks Like

I snapped this photo to remember this moment when I realized I was totally an overwhelmed mom, and even if I was #blessed, life was also really really hard. I was a little over 24 hours into being a mom of three, and I was already an overwhelmed mom. After a long long...

Being a Mom is Hard. It’s Not Just You.

Being a Mom is Hard. It’s Not Just You.

Today was one of those days when it all just hit me. Being a mom is hard, and sometimes it feels like you're failing. Like maybe you're just not a good mom. But it's not you. It's just that hard. A few months ago I was chatting with a new mom who on the outside seemed...

Do Twins Run in Families?

Do Twins Run in Families?

As a twinmom, people always ask if there are twins in the family. It's common knowledge, but how do twins run in families? We’ve all heard twins run in families, but few people really know why, how, or if twins are genetic. So let's answer the question, if and why do...

…and Now I’m a Dance Mom (No One Warned Me How Intense it Is!)

…and Now I’m a Dance Mom (No One Warned Me How Intense it Is!)

Today was my 5-year-old daughter’s very first dance recital, ever. I was not prepared. When she started soccer, I was not prepared emotionally for it, but this time, I was pretty well armed for all the feels. Especially when it came to realize how much she’s growing...

Easy Meals for New Moms: Meal Planning Postpartum 101

Easy Meals for New Moms: Meal Planning Postpartum 101

Meal planning can overwhelm anyone. Add a newborn into the mix and it can be downright impossible! But these easy meals for new moms can be lifesavers!

These four tips for creating easy meals for new moms are so simple (and delicious). Mix and match to create a plan that works for you, without the usual stress that meal planning brings up. Because as a new mom, you’re probably sleep deprived and spending most of your time feeding that adorable tiny human. But YOU need nourished too

1. Keep it simple when meal planning with a new baby

  • Don’t add anything crazy to your meal plan in the first three months. No new recipes! Stay off Pinterest and Tasty. Now is not the time to try new things. Keep your meal plan basic so you don’t get overwhelmed. Feel free to download your FREE copy of my Monthly Meal Planning Guide so you can keep these ideas at your fingertips.
  • Make a big batch of chili, soup or a casserole and it eat it twice or even three times. Leftovers are king but they are especially necessary when you first have a baby. Pull out the crockpot standbys and tried and true family casseroles. Double the recipe if necessary so you can have a second dinner. Chili and cornbread one-night can easily become nachos by serving it over chips and adding cheese and sour cream. Make the really craveable casseroles or soups so your family will be excited for the leftovers! My Slow Cooker Chicken Chili is always a hit in my house. (Pictured below)
  • Keep your family classics in rotation. Stick to the dishes you know best and repeat them like crazy. No one will mind if you serve tacos, spaghetti and chili every week. A. They’re just happy to be eating. B. You just had a baby, so they don’t get to complain about anything.

2. Get help from the store to simplify meal planning with a new baby

  • Rotisserie Chickens. Grabbing a rotisserie chicken every week is an affordable, convenient and healthy dinner option. You can either carve it and serve with a simple salad and bakery bread or shred up the meat and make a quick chicken salad or soup.
  • Freezer Section Meals are a great staple to add to your meal plan. These can be as simple as frozen pizza and a bagged salad kit, frozen Trader Joe’s Mandarin Chicken & Rice (pictured below) or frozen meatballs you can throw in the crockpot with jarred spaghetti sauce and serve in rolls for Meatball Subs. If you can stock up on some of these items before baby comes, even better!
  • Salads. Grab a garden salad kit, a pack of grape tomatoes, some deli turkey, a bag of shredded cheese and then hard boil a couple eggs. Chop it all up and you have a super simple chef salad that everyone will love. The options for this one are endless, but that combo is my personal favorite.

3. Sandwiches & breakfast for dinner are a new mom’s BFF

  • Hit up the deli section to make yummy wraps and sandwiches. The deli section is your best friend during these first three months. Deli meats and cheeses as well as chicken salad make great entree sandwiches or wraps. They also gave really yummy side dishes like pasta salad, potato salad and rice pilaf. Grab some chips and you’re good to go!
  • Breakfast for Dinner ideas are endless and so easy. It can be as simple as scrambled eggs, toast and fruit or you can take it a step further and whip up a breakfast casserole like this Breakfast Bubble Bake (pictured below)

4. Take help when offered (and don’t be afraid to ask!)

  • If someone offers to bring a meal, ask when they want to drop it off! Don’t you dare pass on help when it’s offered. People want to help you! If someone says “I’d love to bring a meal sometime.” Respond back with “That would be great! How about Thursday, the 7th?” Accepting help when it’s offered is truly the best thing you can do for you and your new babe.
  • Get take-out at least once a week and ditch the side of guilt it comes with. If you aren’t a family that typically eats take-out, you should start for the first three months of baby’s life. Just once a week and it can be as simple as fried chicken from the local grocery store that your husband picks up on his way home from work. Or maybe a local pizza place does a $10 Monday night special, make that your take-out night. Just embrace it for this crazy season of life.
  • Ask friends to bring meals in lieu of gifts. Now this is easier said than done but if someone does ask you what you could use for the new baby or what size clothes the baby is in, simply ask for a dinner instead. Something as simple as “That’s so sweet of you. While we would appreciate any gifts you bring, the thing we could use the most right now is a home cooked meal.” I find that people really respond well to that response.

So, there you have it, my tried and true tips for getting you family fed the first three months of newborn-life. You don’t have to implement them all but hopefully you got a few ideas to keep with you. These easy meals for new moms will make that fourth trimester sooo much simpler. Make sure you stay well nourished for that little squish, mama, and let us know in the comments which of these easy meals for new moms you can’t wait to try!

Hi! I’m Taran and I make meal planning easy, so you can stress less at dinner.

I love all things coffee related, watching The Office reruns with my husband and chasing my daughters around (most days).

I love helping busy moms make monthly meal plans with dinners they can cook quickly that their families will love. When I’m not in the kitchen you can find me hanging with my friends, perusing Goodwill or planning my next state to see!

Find me at: www.undomesticmom.com or www.facebook.com/theundomesticmom

 

 

 

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